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The Newbie

Entry posted by Sensen Caro

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Hello there... I'm a lyricist but I can sing my own songs and it already has melodies. The problem is... I don't know how to play any instruments. I'm hoping to find a collaborator... preferably, a composer.

Here's a sample of my song entitled Overruled by Emotions.

I.

Most people say eyes

Are the entrance to a person's soul

We can see truths or lies

Sometimes we just ignore

Oftentimes we never ever talk about it at all

But when you look at me

There is something that i couldn't tell

I may be a book freak

I can handle problems well

But i'll throw fits of temper tantrums

'Cause I never understood

What love is...

Chorus:

I wanna be like my perfect elder sister

She never fall and never ever falter

but when I see you it's like

I'm overruled by emotions

My emotions

The more I see you

The more I see myself fall

The feeling's stronger and I can't take it anymore

'Cause when I see you I know

I'm overruled by emotions

My emotions

For you...

II.

Somebody said to me

Just don't loose your common sense

I know I'm acting crazy

With all these babbling nonsense

Usually I'm cool, collected

Now I'm the opposite

'Cause when you glance and smile

There is something that's bugging me

This couldn't be wrong, right?

This emotion that I'm suffering

And i'll throw fits of temper tantrums

'Cause I 'till now I never understood

What love is...

Chorus:

I wanna be like my perfect elder sister

She never fall and never ever falter

but when I see you it's like

I'm overruled by emotions

My emotions

The more I see you

The more I see myself fall

The feeling's stronger and I can't take it anymore

'Cause when I see you I know

I'm overruled by emotions

My emotions

For you...

III.

Most people say eyes

Are the entrance to a person's soul

With you I don't see any lies

No make-believe at all

I wrote this on my journal

So that

I would not forget

What love is...

Chorus:

I wanna be like my perfect elder sister

She never fall and never ever falter

but when I see you it's like

I wanted to say

I'll never be like my perfect elder sister

I fall for you

And sometimes I did falter

'Cause when I see you it's like

I'm overruled by emotions

My emotions

The more I see you

The more I see myself fall

The feeling's stronger and I can't take it anymore

'Cause when I see you I know

I'm overruled by emotions

My emotions

You made me feel like I'm

Overruled by emotions

My emotions

For you...

That's all... thank you. I got twenty songs in hand so if there's a willing collaborator, please let me know. Here's my e-mail ----> carosigridrose@yahoo.com

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4 Comments

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Hi Sensen,

 

I don't mean to burst your bubble, but I think if you posted in the critique section you may learn that this isn't finished yet.

 

The main thing here is you are saying you are overcome by emotions but lack the details. It's the details that matter. You've mentioned some behaviours but they are outcomes not reasons. If the rest of your catalogue is similar there is some work to do yet.

 

I'm not saying it isn't any good, or doesn't have promise, it's just not there yet, in my opinion.

 

Kel

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sensen caro, honestly i would advise tht before u find a collaborator work on it first , ths would make the collaborator jb more easier. there's a bit of change needed in it your intro.( 1st and 2nd paragraph). it doesnt sound quite rhytmic.  (mr lk a sentence)

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I'm with you Newbie.  Let us know if you find a solution to what you are looking for.  We can all look at the lyrics, but we have no idea how it fits with the melody that is in you head.  I'm sure it fits together fine when you sing it.  Right?  IJS. 

I know I'm late chiming in. Did you find someone to collaborate with?

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