My life is hectic…

Always feeling like I’m on the grind but I’m never working.

I’ve always tried to get ahead but someone is on my behind, tuggin, pullin, jerking.

My life was screwed up since I was a child, from abuse to the neglection… you could say I’d rather choose the abuse as my overall attention. You never heard anything so real until you’ve seen it with your own eyes. Picturing the sounds of someone screaming your name, stuck behind a door that don’t exist and holding back, making the reality a lie. Lust be happenin in the house without a care of the little birds ears, listening in on the sidelines. It’s not right, he don’t even live here! I wanna start a fight. I should have had justice, but I stayed in my bed, feared the unknown and let time flow, never to forget this.

Try to make voice as loud as my town, only to have who matters never hear it, never know who you are, never know what your capable of. This isn’t righteous. Is this only the beginning to my life, yes.

We use to be happy family, just call us the Brady bunch. Yea, how times had changed those fainted memories are now haunting us…

No one cared if I cried, but if I lied it was like blaspheming the king. I tried my best, I knew what to do… it was said done and stuck like glue. I was to be successful on that journey to greatness, make the money, get the girl make my parents so proud but I fell to the ground, it all be came what I like to call great-fakeness.

That’s not all, for my problems come from more then my nest. I flew away south for the winter but only to get lost along the way. I gave up dreams, goals and loved ones for reasons that got in the really crazay; they bring me to my knees to this day. I thought I was seeking happiness with money and freedom, though I missed a couple steps in that recipe, it burnt to the ground, I wouldn’t even serve this to a bum.

I felt I was in love, I masked it so real. You should have been there with me, you could taste it, smell it, hear it… so bitter, so raunchy so real.

Had my heart up on a pedestal, but year after year people kept leaving. I gave it all to some girls, only to seek some guidance, something my life was lacking I needed to keep it real. It turns out what I lived for was farfetched and not worthy to share. Nah, they didn’t care they didn’t know how to feel. I couldn’t bare, though, I moved on without the rest of y’all. I had friends, yea they drowned my sorrows and kept me flying in the sky, away from the pain, away from the ground, where fear wasn’t an option it was a way of living before the almost inevitable decision to keep livin. That year the grim reaper almost became my best friend. I almost gave in. Can you hear me now… that’s right it’s tuff to hear, because everybody dies old but not everybody lives young on earth, this place we like to call here.

A war broke loose, and my battleship almost sunk to the shadows of the deep blue sea. I lost my job, my home, my friends… my education was no where in sight on the horizon, I didn’t even know who I was, or who I was supposed to be.

You ran away from me just like the rest did, you said these people would never lie to you. Though you forget a lie from me was unacceptable and I would never do so, for I was on the rise then… I never give up; don’t you ever believe in me so?

This all seems so surreal, but what makes you think is completely what I feel. I gone fall down, lay for a moment but never underground. Failure isn’t the option; I’ll always be around. I wish that I could have this moment for life, for life, for life. Cuz in this moment I just feel so alive, alive, alive.

I did it Grandpa; I wish you could see this Grandma. I finally feel real. From my troubles to this day where problems are so minuscule. I’m back in the post-secondary, this isn’t gonna be temporare. Soon enough I’m moving and all those haunting memories will wash away, and all you who didn’t believe, didn’t holla at a brotha better freeze for you’ve just been caught with your foot in your mouth… mmm can you taste it that’s the sweet flavor of guilt with a hint of fear. Damn, that’s gotta hurt but I’ll keep it PG and say you’ve just been kicked down south. I’m on my way to success; we will call it happiness. My life may be hectic, starting from the ground rising to the top, you’ve all got a lot to learn, before you judge others be sure to judge yourself accordingly. If you don’t you could fall, just as I did but it won’t be no warner bros plickity pluckity plop… it could be the end, and we are not all as strong willed as I am, I got my family back and before I leave I’d just like to tell you I’m BACK.