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  2. LOL... Peggy... you're too nice. Nothing to be sorry for! I didn't take anything you said badly. Nothing at all! If I sound kind of stern, serious or a bit up myself...I'm just playin' the big boss. It's fun! (only sayin 'ask me first' in case any noobs wander in here thinking it's some kind of free backing track giveaway )
  3. I had a similar initial reaction re: lack of progression within each verse, but I can also see the argument for progression between verses. What moves me toward needing more movement within each verse is that you are trying to do a lot with the chorus and I think you need a boost from the verses to get there. The chorus is about the singer baring his soul (see what I did there with "bare" vs "bore"?--more on that later ) so you could get some movement in the verses by listing out the ways the singer shut out the woman emotionally, which is a better lead-in for the chorus. In other words, if the solution in the chorus in baring his soul, then the problem in the verses needs to be about shutting her out emotionally. Failing to compromise doesn't come across as very emotional, but saying a bit more about why the singer needed it to be that way (e.g., keep her at distance, protect himself, etc) would be more effective. Back to the bore/bare issue in the chorus. I think the problem is mainly the form of the word. It needs a grammatical tweak, for example: If I bare my soul, Will she want me then? I really like the message in those 2 lines--the emotional hook of the chorus is vulnerability and those 2 lines give the chorus it's punch. Also related to the chorus--I am big fan of the singer referring to the song in lyrics (like Ray Charles--Song for You). Again, the verses could build up to that idea too, by getting across the idea that he didn't talk to her enough and maybe he can fix things by not just talking but singing. A broader observation about the lyrics is that the style of the lines switch back and forth between pedestrian, everyday language and more lyrical language. For example V2 is more lyrical, while V3 (wrapped up in paying the bills/drinking too much when I was stressed) seems less so. I think there are some good elements here to build on. ~T
  4. Sorry, bad humor. Loved everything you said. And always your decision. Really sorry if you thought anything else. Really really..reallly I'll delete so no other misunderstanding.
  5. I don't care about rules (other than it's my music so anyone has to ask me first) ...I won't necessarily agree with anyone else's opinions anyway IF it comes to mixing one, I'll be choosing!
  6. I like the vibe. I think it could work out nice... I like your voice and guitar, very nice... I'm not a huge fan of covers but you're changing the vibe from the original and it's creative. But... you gotta learn the words! It's a favourite of mine and obviously of many, and I'm pretty sure you're not singing every word right. I mean change them creatively if you want, but at the moment I think you're just getting a few wrong rather than deliberately changing them
  7. I think you should continue working on it. It's an interesting interpretation of such a "head-banging" classic but I think your cover will turn a lot of heads - both, in a good and bad way, of course. I personally did not like your chorus 'coz it sounded too soft and sweet but after I heard that lead guitar @1:10, I was instantly won over! Very cool, stuff. Ken
  8. If anyone wants to try a rap to my track... Just PM me and I'll send you the track to rap over. I'm making this 'contest' thing up as I go along I wasn't sure anyone would go for it. I suppose if more than one person does a rap we can post on here and let everyone comment or vote? Any ideas on how to organise it are welcome... But ultimately if I'm gonna produce one, then I'll have to choose one, and me and the rapper will both have to be happy about it... If that happens then I'd need to get a decent vocal recording to mix it properly. Have to see whether that works out...if it does it'll become a collaboration.
  9. sup dude
  10. Today
  11. Dang ...definately had to go read the lyrics. I haven't heard it for a long time. Trying to use the sun and moon and a "recurring" dream as a mixed/repeating metaphor. And then trying to use the sun a a masculine trait but also what wakes her out of the dream each morning. Anticapation when going to sleep for "the first time i touch you" Like the rest of your comments too. And I'll take them all in thought, for .sure. Thanks Peggy
  12. Very impressive song idea, Brycebad. A lot of cool production techniques happening in the track. The vocals(harmony&melody) for the verse 1/pre-chorus/chorus is, SUPER, catchy! I'm not so sure about the 2nd verse melody, though... The vocals are overpowering the track a little and it gives me the impression that it's sort of a rough demo you put together? I think you're on the right track with this song but I also think you need to find more creative sounds for the arrangement. There's nothing new that "jumps out" at me in the production and the feeling I got from the first listen was, I've heard this before, which is not necessarily a bad thing but it would depend on what your goal is? Again, beautiful chorus melody! Looking forward to hearing more of your work here on Songstuff. Ken PS - For someone who's new to this particular genre, you're pretty good at it. Nicely done!
  13. Ken - this is really good - I like the retro style and I had so many vocal ideas floating about listening to it. Can't critique too much on the song as it is still a work in progress and you are obviously looking to add more, but it has a lovely melody going on and the chorus is excellent. Well done.
  14. lets do this bro!!!
  15. Hi, Peggy. This had a lot of similarities to Roberta Flack's classic The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face, including the hook, telling a similar story without rhymes and using the sun and mood imagery. The twist I think you are bringing is anticipation for the future, as opposed to Flack's reminiscence about the past. I could be wrong about your intent but the sense of anticipation is lost between V1 and V2 because the future tense changes to present tense and then the future tense comes back in later. I liked the rhythm of your verses. I thought you might tweak the last line in V3 to be a closer in rhythm to the final lines of all the other verses. See suggestion below. But I could also see that change in rhythm working with the music to set up the chorus. ------- V 2 ------ Our eyes dark and satin We feel how the moon lures Earth's grip holds our moment As the spinning goes on ------- V 3 ----- The moon keeps on rising With rhythm the tides pull And pull us still closer 'Til waters rush ashore => Like waves to the shore I liked the chorus on its own but, for me, it didn't follow from the verses. I was sort of grooving on the moon and tides imagery in the verses and then the sun came out! That felt a bit disjointed to me without some sort of transition. Enjoyed it. Thanks for sharing. ~T
  16. Welcome, Joe!
  17. This is a very healthy approach IMO for people who want to stay in the game. Simply find another way to do it. There were a few trade offs , sure. Teaching is one great alternative. I seem to resonate most closely with this approach. Even though I don't teach, I'm still heavily involved with live performance at church. Yeah I know. Way different. FWIW we have a bass player and a drummer. Like TCgypsy, I was never in it for the 'front and center' position. I don't prefer that really. Playing with other small groups of musicians locally is something I love to do. Irish sessions are common around here and I try to get into a few of those. It's funny in the sessions though. I don't know half the songs so I fake it. I've been alongside the leaders of a song in a full bar. Eyes are tearing up and I'm thinking to myself, I don't know this song, but somehow I'm playing along and people are getting emotional I thought I had a bad week at church last week and we had visitors who later commented that the music was good. My wife said I hit it out of the park. It sometimes baffles me, although I put everything I have into whatever I'm doing at the time. So I feel like a small time local successful musician. I'm well known in the places I play I continually try to sharpen my craft. I guess this is how I measure my success, a little like TCgypsy, I am able to play and practice most evenings, even if it's late. I guess it doesn't take as much to make me content. I'm doing it for the fun of doing it right now.
  18. Yesterday
  19. Hi guys, this afternoon I came up with this ... I recorded only one verse and chorus I was wondering if it would make sense to continue this project What do you think about ? many thanks
  20. The master/slave jumpers on the HDD are the only jumper settings I can think of that might interfere with normal operation. Could the OS possibly be reconfigured to 'see' more memory? Was your old HDD larger? If so, maybe it had a different jumper arrangement. There is also a possibility that the old drives were partitioned and won't allow you to see any more memory. If the 80gb drive was partitioned as a 'C' drive and the partition is small this would explain it. If this is the case the drive needs to be reformatted. I forget if the BR had a slider type volume control? Those can get dust in them between the wiper and coil. Sometimes simply working them a bit gets the dust out, or there are cleaners for that.
  21. Just the music sounds dark to me... Dark mood. But it's whatever mood you want.
  22. Hello one and all!My name is Joe. I am a professional multi genre lyricist. (Singer/composer/musician.) I happen to have a lot of free time on my hands for the next moth or two so I decide to checkout some forums.I am writing a book on songwriting as well as finishing up a library of content for my blog.I'm here to help others out when I can. Hopefully, I can get some informative feedback from other writers regarding my own works.The only other thing I can tell you, is I am 42 years young and I currently live in Texas.Catch you out there!
  23. Thanks Janeva. I love songstuff it's brilliant. I am married though, so you will have to call off your sister But seriously, those she play drums or bass?
  24. Thanks man appreciate the welcome! Yea I've done both I recorded a few songs on soundcloud, but the sound quality isn't really enjoyable. I mainly freestyle though and I'm really good at that, but im just trying to transition that into writing so I can put it into a purer form. Hey Janeva thanks! I hope so too
  25. Hi Welcome to the site. I hope you enjoy being a member here Janeva
  26. Hi Glad you have found the site. Hope you enjoy being here Janeva
  27. Hi Welcome to Songstuff. Hope you enjoy being a member Janeva
  28. Hi Welcome to Songstuff. Hope you enjoy being a member here Janeva
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