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    Post your FIRST POST here to introduce yourself, and afterwards to welcome new members.

     

    Strictly NO MUSIC LINKS, OR LYRICS. The "Introduce Yourself" board is about YOU. Don't worry... you can let us hear works in progress on the critique boards, and finished work in the Musician's Lounge and the Showcase Board.

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    The SHOWCASE boards are to show off the great work by our members. The showcase board is for complete, pro-standard works including music, video, photography, artwork and other art forms.

     

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    Critique

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    Constructive critique for the creative arts.

     

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Simon Darveau

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  • Recent Status Updates

    • Pahchisme Plaid  »  john

      It may be that I'm on my iPod that it doesn't show up. I seem to get more on the computer, but when I searched the artwork that's usually on the site to show my daughter, I could find it.  Has it been removed or is it moved?  I tried looking under images and videos, but couldn't find it.
      · 1 reply
    • Rudi

      Whats a Status Update?
      · 1 reply
    • rachellynde

      I haven't been here for a couple years it seems. I finished a couple songs for dog rescue sites. I put them up on cd baby and donated that site to two different rescues and all funds went to them. I have written a few more song lyrics and had them recorded by a friend singing them. I would love to share them with you as soon as I figure out how to do it. Nice to come back and see how everyone is doing.
      · 0 replies
    • Leo  »  Bernd

      Hey Bernd,
       
      I quickly recorded a 1+1 demo to 'A Place To Live'.
      What do you think?
      https://soundcloud.com/leosherman/a-place-to-live/s-6cXTc
       

      · 1 reply
  • Posts

    • In fact I appreciate it a lot. It is my 3rd attempt here on this site to check on that lyrics. I was fixing it a lot based on the peoples suggestions and thought - when I posted it here in this topic - that it was my very very last edit, when you put me down to earth that in fact even as it was very understandable for me it is absolutely not clear for anyone. I do not want to run after each listener and explain what I meant by each line - that is why your honest opinion is/was very helping. I hope once I re-write it I will get better results. In the worst case I can record it like SF and tell everyone that - "they are not on my tree" :)))
    • Emotive wistful tune.   The guitar and vocal ability is there, and you sound pretty good. The song itself has potential.   That being said, reading the vocals as you sing, and not enunciating the words is marring an otherwise good performance. You have a good voice; don't be afraid to belt it out, and don't do a video until singing it is second nature.   The guitar playing is competent but the halting style begins to lose its appeal after the intro.    You need to craft this into a good sounding AUDIO production whether you do it minimalist or go full tilt on production. In my opinion, this song would be best done with full backing tracks - it has the potential to be killer. You can always play along with the song for a video but I would get the audio production sounding niiiiiiiice first. If you are dead set on doing it the way you are, then do pure 1+1 and have your performance honed prior to doing the video so that you exude confidence and can concentrate on interpretation and emotion instead of just getting through the song.   We are here to help you get your songs recorded and mixed so go for it!   Peace, TC
    • Laid back EDM tune. Can you please post the lyrics at the top?   The song has some real strengths, and the vibe and understated melody is a big part of that.   I think the auto-tune could work but it is way over the top. The addition of the mousy octave up needs some formant adjustment or simply an addtional voice. What I would do with the vocal is blend a normal vocal with the hard-tuned vocal to achieve a nice balance and recapture some of the intimacy you are losing with this technique.   I like the laid back instrumentals but they could be more interesting. As is, they sound static and uninspiring at times. At 2 minutes in length, it works okay but if you extend this into the nominal 4 minute mark, you are definitely going to need to get more creative on the instrumentals. More patch changes and sprinkling in motifs throughout the piece would work nicely. If you do continue to work on this song and extend the length, you need a bridge part that picks things up rhythmically and emphasizes percussive elements, imo.   Cool tune.   Peace, TC
    • @Apotheke I would buy this track if you had a well produced version of it, even if I have no idea what the lyrics are at this point(because of the recording)   I Dig it :)!  
    •   I apologize for being so quick to accuse you. - I am very impressed and humbled by the abilities of those who speak English as a 2nd language.   Anyway, I feel that the conflict between accessibility and personal/private meaning is always a difficult one for poets and lyricists.  I'm of the opinion that it's harder (and thus better) to write something that accomplishes both.  I.e. when the lyric means something personal to the writer, but is also accessible on other levels to the listener.  The deeper and richer those two worlds of understanding are, whether in synch or not, the more impressive the lyric in my opinion.  I'm quite persnickety about what I admire in a lyric, and I realize that it's all subjective territory.  The most I can do on these forums is offer my opinion.  I never claim that I'm right, or that my suggestions are the way to go.  I usual comment on how I feel about the effectiveness of the music and lyric, and often suggest "what I would do."


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