Post your FIRST POST here to introduce yourself, and afterwards to welcome new members.
Strictly NO MUSIC LINKS, OR LYRICS. The "Introduce Yourself" board is about YOU. Don't worry... you can let us hear works in progress on the critique boards, and finished work in the Musician's Lounge and the Showcase Board.
Includes lyrics, instrumentals, full songs, recording, production, and cover critique for music creation and other creative arts critique such as poetry, artist / band artwork and photography, and music video production critique.
I love my Neumann KH120 Nearfield monitors for their absolute flat response and accuracy across the frequencies. Mixes translate perfectly to radio or whatever system they are played on.
My favourite mic is AKG C414 B ULS and Aphex Expressor for vocal recording, they're both clean of colouration which allows me to use SSL, Neve, API, etc plugin effects on mixdown.
I like my Lexicon PCM 91 for guitar effects
Of course I couldn't do without my Mac 2.6GHz quad core i7 with 16 GB Ram and 1TB fusion drive running OSX with pro tools and Logic pro.
I listened to the Bartender song. It was nice, and unusual. It's hard to critique though...
To me it sounded like a soundtrack to a really weird cartoon. To critique it I'd need to know the goal... I mean if this is intended for possible use with some kind of moving images, as background or even as a theme tune, then I think it could work great. If it's intended for listening pleasure then I suppose it's not my cup of tea because I don't feel it emotionally, and it doesn't make me groove or want to jump around.
So again, to suggest what I think could be improved, since you asked, I'd need to know what it's for. And since you present it as a 'song', I'll critique it as such, and in that case I think that since it's a happy, bouncy, but weird, kind of tune...and a bit jazzy maybe... I'd suggest that you focus on the beat and bass, and the rhythm generally. At the moment the beat sounds distant and weak, and repetitive, and the bass is a bit too repetitive and doesn't groove with the beat... I'd start by bringing the beat forward, using some really crisp drum/percussion sounds in an electronic way still but more interesting...and then work on making it make you/us want to move.
Great comment, Gary. Thanks.
I am working on this using my variations of both of your methods. It's a rather simple concept, but one I hadn't focused on enough. Sometimes I struggle with trying to put too many non-stressed syllables between the stressed ones. I find, like Vara said, it's usually better to have fewer syllables between the accents, rather than trying to jam too many words in between. I'm finding that an old-fashioned metronome helps a lot. And tapping my desktop a lot!
I especially appreciated the reminder about how to pace the song so it accelerates into the chorus.
Sounds great. Very smooth...great performances and mix, and I like the different direction in the bridge (wish that part went on a bit longer).
The only thing that bothered me was the chorus lyric. It just didn't grab me emotionally and didn't paint any picture, it didn't make much sense either 'a joy for the world to see/it seems my name'. I realise it links to the end of the previous line 'you said ..my name'... but when you repeat that, and with the 'joy for the world' bit, it loses the context (and even if it stayed in context, I don't think it's strong enough lyrically). I think you're missing a trick if you don't find a hook lyric which brings that part to life. I don't know what that would be, but that's my gut reaction.