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Showing most liked content on 02/09/2017 in all areas

  1. 2 points
    I read what you wrote as lines in a lyric. With some adjustments, you could put what you just wrote to a melody. Ask a question here or there, make a statement and give examples. Dont put a box around what a lyric is or isn't. Some tools will help push away the sides of the box. A thesaurus, a rhyming dictionary, and I also keep a list of adjectives. With a little knowledge of some of your personal history, I see you writing some faith based tunes, some space based tunes, and Philly right? Or the northeast somewhere, anyway, you could tap into some really strong historical stuff. There's family and future or cancer and fear, there's music without words, and green, lots of green. Draw a line. Put a word at the end of it, yes that word, the one one you're telling yourself you didn't think of, write there at the end of the line. Now, you'll just have to trust me. Ooh, that's it isn't it, trust. trust is an action. __________ trust ok, so if you were to search for an adjective to describe trust, to color it, what word would it be? Be creative and new, explore the possibilities, don't simply rely on the word that comes easily, really look for something interesting. You'll know you've found it when it makes the word trust feel really wide. All of a sudden, there's a gaping hole with this new _________ trust that is waiting for your ideas to flow into. Freedom and openness and I keep seeing green for some reason, Celtic maybe, you're music is stuck in my head. let go maybe that's it, maybe the song is called Let Go. Maybe that trust line is only one line in the song. Either way, it's a start. Dont worry about perfection, those minute details worry tends to dig up are rarely ever more than fear without a conscience. Pay it no mind. Is there ever completion? Is thought ever more than a hitchhiker of time? Time without fear is heaven to those sick with worry or hungry for the touch of love. Let go of it all, and all will be yours. Trust is an action. Let go. That last paragraph is what comes from free writing. My mind wandering around an idea. I failed somewhat because I didn't use all my senses, but I did pretty good idea wise. I'll try to think about how the rest of my senses relate to my topic when I go further into the write. But for now I want to read back through what I write and pick out some key words, some words which really stick out to me. Perfection worry conscience fear completion hitchhiker hunger now there are a couple of ways to go, I liked some of the lines the way they were written, but it doesn't take me long to do the next step anymore so I'll also go through the list and find adjectives or adverbs that enhance those words, or I'll go through the rhyming dictionary and find some interesting rhymes and near rhymes for them. This expands the sides of the box, the box grows outward with ideas. Its getting late, I gotta go to bed, but all this is in that book and he does a way better job of explaining it. I just wanted to show it as a process, only one process of many discussed already. peace
  2. 1 point
    Yo yo, This is for all the people who feel at their lowest,i feel you….. (INTRO) We are all equal,we are all responsible for actions we take, i understand the need to rid hate from this world…..but we are taking dads from their boys or girls people sitting by watching as soldiers indulge people sitting by watching their pockets bulge (CHORUS) rock bottom at the foot of the hill rock bottom feet firm standing still stuck in the mud no moving forwards hierarchy living by different standards rock bottom (x2) (VERSE 1) rock bottom is where the poor girl stands flag of the nation with her mans blood in her hands tears fall as she catches his smell cut down in his prime no chance to excel no chance to be a dad see his baby grow up tall miss the chance to hear the first word miss out seeing the first crawl but no….she’s alone in this hopeless struggle her one love taken when his base was blown down to rubble high school sweethearts gone ripped and shredded 1:53pm was the moment the letter came she dreaded didn’t want to look she knew what was inside just hugged the letter and she sat and she cried for hours and hours she couldn’t think cries getting louder drink after drink kids came home to see their mummy slumped kids taken into care as she gets her stomach pumped she’s at rock bottom (CHORUS) rock bottom at the foot of the hill rock bottom feet firm standing still stuck in the mud no moving forwards hierarchy living by different standards rock bottom (x2) (VERSE 2) rock bottom no money to live not a penny to give to the savages who take without a thought not using the money to help survivors of the war big bank bonuses and healthy hand-outs drown out the sick and homelessness cry outs on the streets no thought about their health 3 jobs and pregnant stacking the shelves to provide the right up-bringing of her family her fiance killed in battle,unexplained tragedy taken from her and his kids,but she didn’t get any help should of been looked after,but had to continue stacking shelfs in a supermarket instead her fiancé’s medals at home but she sleeps under the stars,protecting her children from the cold (CHORUS) rock bottom at the foot of the hill rock bottom feet firm standing still stuck in the mud no moving forwards hierarchy living by different standards rock bottom (x2) (VERSE 3) rock bottom is where she is no longer staying 3 bedroom house and garden to play in kids looking healthy and colour in their cheeks dwelled on this decision for weeks and weeks received a settlement for the tragic loss the offer was laughable and made her cross…. that she had to accept it just to survive it kept her and her kids safe and alive a pioneer to all people a hero to some but this what we call an everyday mum the fights and battles to put her kids through school but its the celebs with loads of money who get labelled cool the real soldiers are right at home at night tucking their children in bed and saying goodnight COPYRIGHT 2017
  3. 1 point
    You could call it anything and I wouldn't know ? Ok you have my internal wheels spinning now, but I think they need lubrication.
  4. 1 point
    Know what? That's a great line. I can hear the accents in the delivery & music behind it already. The ...'I-would-nt-know' part has equal accents and is stronger than the 'you-could-call-it-any-thing-and..' part. That's half the song right there!
  5. 1 point
    Thanks! After being immersed in electronic gadgetry for hours and hours. I'll admit it is nice to read something a person wrote hundreds of years ago and be transported to that time, that feeling they had. Amazing that words can do that. Thank you Pahchisme! I seem to like the distant less direct lyrics I hear. Rhymes for me personally can be nice or not depending. They can also be similar to worn out cliche's. I can get too focused on the apparent underlying technique and miss the intent. Sometimes I'll see a lyric and my main thought is, "See how he/she did that?" and the next thought is, " Was there supposed to be some point to this?". I always have these thoughts swimming round up there like you say, during those mindless moments of the day. Admittedly not enough of that. I've had this almost nagging "thing" I'll call it where a certain person who I don't really know well comes to mind. It makes no sense. In fact, I don't really WANT to think about them, I have tried to ignore it, but it re occurs quite often. Like having the hiccups. It won't go away. I thought it might be a good theme for a song at some point. I thought about calling it "strings", like I seem to have their "strings" following me around.I had wondered if they had that impression of me...now that would really be odd! And I do. I see this as one of those things that would differ between listeners. A great lyric to you might not be a great lyric to me and so forth. Dude, I'm over a half century old. I know everything takes effort by now The local sewer plant? Although I'm sure we could come up with something.:) Do any of us see everything through glasses of intolerance and impatience? The first step is admitting those things. A nature scene obviously doesn't demand that. A pretend environment doesn't demand that. Do we more act from existence or act from a plan or both? Both seems to be the best answer. Are we writing about a concept? This is a physically intangible thing. A historical event that we didn't attend? We weren't there so we have to make it seem real. Many songs aren't experiential but many are. Lots of wiggle room there wouldn't you think? What if we're writing about a feeling? How do you break that down and say it has to be one way or another way?
  6. 1 point
    Lovely melodies, Nono. I like it a lot! I love how French sounds. I was once asked to write a melody for a lyric in French but it was just not possible because I couldn't - and still cannot - speak French! Oh, btw, the google translation was terrible. lol Cool song, Ken