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  1. 15 likes
    Posting Lyrics For Critique? Then Read This! To save repeating this on a regular basis I've decided to pull it all into one topic. Please read all of this post before taking part in this board. Our critique boards rely entirely upon members reviewing each other's work. Unfortunately some writers submitting work for critique are unwilling, for a variety of reasons, to perform critiques of the work of their peers. This ultimately leads to lack of critiques and disappointment for members looking for some feedback. As a result we added a guideline for board usage - For every lyric or song you submit for review, you should try to review a minimum of 2 other lyrics/songs on that board, a ratio of 2:1. This ensures a reasonable level of reviews in response to works posted. Excuses The most common reason given for not reviewing is: I don't have enough experience to offer comments and suggestions. Lack of experience is the best argument for actually performing reviews, not avoiding them. Writers are all here to exchange ideas, and believe me, they all felt or still feel inexperienced. To help you along, and to try an explain some of the benefits to writers who perform critique, please check out this article - Lyrics Critique For Songwriters The whole premise of this article is how performing critique benefits the songwriter. Critique is not a simple "here's my comment". It's a discussion between the reviewee and reviewer to better understand perspective, discuss opinions and suggestions. Critique is valid be it from a fan, be it from a maestro. Sure it might be pitched at different levels, but that is a benefit. Songs are heard by all sorts of people with different perspectives and that is valuable. Even the comment of "I like it/dislike it" is valuable, although you have to explain why you feel that way and where necessary suggest improvements. The point is not simply to accept comments and change our work. We listen, try to understand and consider what we could do based upon observations and advice. In offering and discussing comments we all learn. I can understand being nervous about commenting, but comments and suggestions are not forcing your comments on anyone. It is your opinion, nothing more, and that is how it should be taken. The main thing I would suggest is - be constructive. Explain your thinking/feeling and aim your comments at what (if anything) would improve the lyric. It's human nature. If you don't perform reviews, other members will be disinclined to review your work preferring instead to review writers who contribute to the whole. So please, respect your fellow writers by doing your share of reviews. You might just be surprised at what you gain from it. Like so much in life -- what you get out largely depends on what you put in... We want to maintain a positive environment. It encourages an honest exchange of ideas and opinions. Constructive Criticism We are all very different individuals with broad ranging sensitivity. A poorly thought out comment, while it may not intentionally be cruel, it still might devastate someone who has tentatively posted their first song in front of people for the first time. They may also be deeply attached to their lyrics, they could be very personal to them. Please be compassionate, and sympathetic. Stretch yourself, if you must. The point is to help someone with their lyrics, not score a point for being correct. If someone does not take kindly to advice, don't force it. Be truthful but be diplomatic. On the other side of the divide, when you post your lyrics for review, don't dismiss opinions out of hand. People take time and effort to review your songs. If you do not like someone's comments, try to understand their viewpoint or simply say thanks for your opinion and don't follow up. Please don't react defensively or aggressively. Their opinion is as valid as yours whether you choose to accept it or not. You have final say over your lyrics, not them, be content with that. So we have some simple rules and guidelines... Simple Rules Original lyrics only....-- yes people really do post lyrics that aren't their own No promo -- this forum is for talking about works in progress. Treat each other with respect -- Please treat fellow members with consideration, this is a zero tolerance zone for flaming, insults, trolling, or drive-by shooting. This board is not the place for discussing the political or religious subjects raised by lyrics. If you do not agree with an opinion expressed in posted lyrics, this board is not the place to convince someone that their opinion is wrong. Please post adult or disturbing content in the "Parental Advisory" board -- People as young as 13 may be browsing our forums plus there are people with widely varying sensibilities who use this forum --Violations of this rule can result in deletion of a thread at the discretion of the moderator. Subscribe To Your Topics When you post a Lyric or Song for review, you are asking people to spend time on your behalf to help YOU. If you don't think you will have time to check back, we have tools for you. Right next to the rating scale at the top of the post is a down arrow, click that and subscribe to your topic so you will get an email if someone replies! (Also check your notification settings in your Profile Setttings) When you make a post or new topic you can also subscribe. Also you can subscribe to a board in a very similar way. My personal preference now is to subscribe to all my topics and those that I reply to. That way I am kept up to date on all my conversations. You can do this in your profile editor. Go to "My Settings" from the drop down top left next to your member avatar, under the "Forums Members Calendar" buttons. In the options panel click on the "Forums" tab Put a tick in "Watch every topic I reply to" In select "Immediate email notification" from the drop down next to the text "If enabled, choose default notification type:" Do that once and you don't need to keep subscribing to your topics Alternatively on a per topic basis: When you are already in the post editor, either from having hit new topic, reply, or using the post editor (full version), at the bottom of the post editor, there is a button titled "Click to configure post options" or similar. Expand that and you should see a check box " Enable email notification of replies?" make sure this box has a tick in it. When you hit submit this will be saved for this topic. To subscribe to a topic outside the editor, in the topic view (where you see all the individual posts listed) click "Watch Topic" button next to the add reply button at the top of post listings. Alternatively on a per forum basis: To subscribe to a forum, on the board view (where you see all the topics for that board listed) click "Watch Forum" next to the new topic button. You can then easily see watched forum activity in a number of places, and receive email notification. In Summary Play Nice Expect to work When it is said 2:1, Make the effort to do more! Be nice to the moderators, they are only trying to help
  2. 7 likes
    How did you get started writing lyrics? I used to write poems when I was younger but I was always so active that it was on the back burner. I had got sick a few years back so I could not be as active as I wanted, I saw a song contest online and changed some poems into a song format. I started doing that as a hobby and liked it. I have been writing since 2014. I Bought books by Pat Pattinson and Due White and taught my self song formats. Do you play any instruments or sing? I can't carry a tune and play no instruments. My only instrument is my Ball point pen or pencil. Do you like to collaborate with other writers? Yes all of my complete songs are colaborations because I only do lyrics. I have met collaboration partners on song stuff, NSAI, sound cloud and at a songwriters group at my church. if you were to describe yourself as a writer, what would you say? I like to write stories and songs that capture real emotions. I write in country, Christian, Gospel as well s pop and rock genres. I still learning formats, but copy exsisting formats to help to learn what works. Working with other musicians has helped me learn too. What kind of lyrics do you write? Country, story type songs, Christian, Gospel or several types. Why do you write? What do you hope to achieve? I write with the hopes of one day an artist picking up one of my songs and having it be played on the radio. I do have one song that an artist wants to pick up, it is currently on hold until his 2017 album comes out. it is always fun to see a lyric come to life. What interests you when you write? Life stories, conversations, things we go through and sometimes silly things. if you could write a song for an artist, who would it be and why? Carrie underwood, because I like her story type songs and she is a great singer. What are your goals as a songwriter? To make songs that are commercial but can help somebody along the way. Do you have a favorite song? Many favorites The Dance by Garth brooks is my favorite ballad type. I tend to love the songs from when I was in high school the most. There are lots of songs I love. Of your own songs, do you have a favorite? Hand Up and Dancing on a memory, although Love May come late is the one that got picked up. Do you have a favorite situation or location when you write? At night on my porch, or at church they have music rooms with pianos and instruments, my cowriter meets me there sometimes. Has being a member of Songstuff been beneficial to you? Yes it has. I enjoy getting feedback from other artist and it has helped me learn song formats quicker. I have colabarated with a few members and that has been lots of fun.Song stuff has some talented artist from many different places and have learned from many of them. Why do you take part in lyrics challenges on Songstuff? I sometimes struggle with what to write about, that helps me to focus on one topic and helps me to grow. I like the challenges because they help me to write about things I may not have thought about on my own. If you were to offer any advice to your fellow songwriters, what would it be? Try to write something every day, even if it is just one line, if you get out of the habit of writing, it is hard to be creative. If someone really likes your work, what is the best way for them to keep up with your latest writings? Sound cloud, Broadjam, Reverb and for lyrics here. I am working on building a website soon.
  3. 3 likes
    Keep My Powder Dry Copyright © 2016 by L.C. Campbell Verse 1 When love turns to war It’s not love anymore Home is a battleground Casualties all around Don’t even remember what I’m fighting for Chorus 1 So I’ll keep on keepin’ on Give nothing away Bind up my wounds Live to love another day Hold my head up high You won’t see me cry No tears on my face I’ll keep my powder dry Verse 2 We were on the same side Now the gap’s a mile wide I can’t see your heart from here Who we were has disappeared There’s no point in fighting what’s already died Chorus 2 So I’ll keep on keepin’ on Give nothing away Bind up my wounds Live to love another day Hold my head up high You won’t see me cry No tears on my face I’ll keep my powder dry Bridge I’ve learned the hard way that lipstick and blush Just aren’t enough when the going gets rough Chorus 3 So I’ll keep on keepin’ on Give my heart away In spite of my wounds I’ll live to love another day Hold my head up high You won’t see me cry No tears on my face I’ll keep my powder dry
  4. 2 likes
    Hello! So, I'd like some advice on this song. I had written it first with certain lyrics, and it was called "Haunting Me." (Lyrics below) https://soundcloud.com/emily-anderson-277030101/haunting-me-12316-904-am/s-EGpB0 Later, I changed the lyrics because I thought the words were too depressing, so I thought about a way to make it equally appealing to me, but with lyrics that might be more attractive to more people. This version is called 'Rescue you.' The recording is better quality, and has some more production value to it, but ultimately, I'm concerned about the song itself. Is the first version better because it's more "genuine" or is the second better because it's more artful, and possibly more appealing to a larger group of people? Here is "Rescue you" https://www.reverbnation.com/emilyanderson/song/27376604-rescue-you Haunting me Lyrics: Haunting Me I feel the weight of the world taking off again A wiry bird with a song singing out I feel The eye of the storm in my head behind my lashes Like a tinge or a spark, shooting from the ashes What I get is what I see And what I see is haunting me I fill the void with sea salt and vinegar A Palace full of goods from all around the hemisphere But nobody knows me, I wear my heart inside my throat Their side-eyed glances say I’m not a regular folk What I get is what I see And what I see is haunting me It won’t be very easy, but it will be true Somewhere there is a reason for all of this that you do and it’s haunting me It’s haunting me. What a mystery are we and all we are and Everything that we want to be if it means that we only live and breathe to bend our knees, cry, smile or sing What I get is what I see And what I see is haunting me It won’t be very easy, but it will be true Somewhere there is a reason for all of this that you do and it’s haunting me It’s haunting me. RESCUE YOU LYRICS: I feel the weight of the world taking off again A wiry bird with a song singing out I feel The eye of the storm in my head behind my lashes Like a tinge or a spark, shooting from the ashes In one fell swoop of clarity The phoenix comes to rescue me I burn my tongue with sea salt and vinegar I fill my house with goods from all around the hemisphere But nobody knows me, I wear my heart inside my throat Their hard eyes press against me, I panic and take to the spokes In one great wave of ocean tide The chariot is at my side ... You don’t have to worry, you’ll find all that you lose, and Even though, we’ll run around in circles, I’ve come, to rescue you to the rescue…………………..to rescue you……... Carry me across the yellow sea It’s a mystery, this blazing epiphany There’s no time to waste, your avenue is waiting Where it takes you, no one knows; but there’s comfort in escaping At once descending from great heights The golden staircase spreads its flight
  5. 2 likes
    I bet he wore a big hat and paid for your lunch.
  6. 1 like
    Leo think the story will work just a couple of things I am lonely to me this makes no sense I am frightened that would be my thought lonely feels like alone but you are not ? john
  7. 1 like
    The contradiction I mean is exemplified by: how do you say youre sorry, when theres nothing left to say? If there’s nothing left to say, why would you want to say anything? Now I realise that contradiction can be deliberate and also make a point. That's not coming across to me though. I might be missing something, but otherwise it’s a simple logical contradiction. The words sound like an early draft of lyrics, ahead of figuring out what you want to say. That’s the issue for me. I don’t know what it is you want to say. I suspect that you might not, and I don’t mean that disrespectfully. Some people use ‘filler words’ in order to get the melody underway. That said, some of my lyrics are lost on people. I think most all of John’s are lost on people, but I know that when I hear John’s words and I can usually adapt his lyrical purpose to an understanding unique to me. How does that work? I dunno! It works frequently enough though. You may have this figured out the way you want it. You may have a point & purpose to the words. Chorus: The minor/major change, suggestion of time doubling & repeated hook lines are all excellent devices for achieving what you want for a chorus. So nothing wrong with those ideas. It’s not doing it for me though. However the final chorus words ‘…truly free’ is great part with its alternating half tone. Now when people tell me ‘they don’t get it’ or ‘its not going anywhere’, I always take it on board, but if it still works for me, I stick with my own intuition. Maybe you need to? If this were mine & I were to rework anything, specifically I would consider trying the following. 1/ Change the phrasing of the chorus. I would begin with the first word ‘In’. I would move it from the 2nd beat of the bar to the first. So it would now be strongly accented and there would be a gap before the ‘…..the midnight hour’ resumes in its regular position. Changing the phrasing can be difficult and it takes determination to do it at all. It’s a fantastic way of transforming music though. 2/ I would play around with the chorus chords. Maybe make the change even more dramatic by raising the whole sequence by a semitone. Or else the chords by a fifth?
  8. 1 like
    Hell yes, you play. You also recruit a handful of oversized biker brothers to reduce a couple of picnic tables to kindling, while a couple more use empty 2 liter soda bottles to syphon some gas from cars in the parking lot. At the same time a few more are requisitioning five or six of the big barrel trash cans. Two get placed on stage, just inside the front line speakers. Two get placed behind the stage about 8 feet off the back of the stage, about 20 feet apart. Two more get placed on the ground in front of the stage about 8 feet out and fifteen feet or so apart. Between the picnic tables and the gasoline, the temperature on stage goes from 18 or 19 Fahrenheit to somewhere in the oh so cozy 50's... all in the space of about twenty minutes. We tried to play with frozen digits and iced over instruments for a couple - three songs, TC, but thank god for rowdy bikers is all I have to say. I'm not sure how far they were willing to go to ensure that we played as planned, but if it had taken them building a hall for us to play in, I don't doubt that that group would have tried to build one. One of my all time favorite gigs, by the way, and it was a poker run for some charity I can't recall now. Panama City Beach to Pensacola, then back and to the campgrounds. 1200-1300 bikers did the run. A little over 5000 were on hand when we started to play. They made us play our whole (at that time) 2 hour show, then start over from the top and play it all again. Guns, naked bikers (male and female), many, many very drunk bikers.... a whole cadre who felt the best way to enjoy the show was with their heads buried in the bottoms. Never had a better crowd, All mad as hatters, but all singing and laughing and applauding as if we were the best band they'd ever seen. We were supposed to play from 9 to 11, ended up playing from around 10 to well after 2AM. At the end they had us standing up there trying to figure out how to play songs that got called in from the crowd. We weren't sure, for a while, if they were ever going to let us off the stage. The mini trash can bonfires were also the coolest light show we ever had. It was wet, cold... so smoky.... and the fires played off the smoke all around the stage and through the crowd. Very cool to see. As much alcohol as was percolating through everyone that night, I don't think anyone was really very cold. i know I wasn't. Maybe my all time favorite gig.
  9. 1 like
    I would never force anyone to listen to any song
  10. 1 like
    Both versions are really good, Emily. But if I could only listen to one of those versions, I would choose 'Rescue Me' since the vocal melodies had more going on. Plus the arrangement and harmonies sounded really good, as well. Beautiful vocals as always! All the best, Ken
  11. 1 like
    Wow, I think both versions are fantastic. For my taste, you have something special there. Lyrically, I prefer the 'Haunting Me' hook, but that might just be my taste. The 'Haunting Me' version does have something more 'genuine' about it, as you say... it feels darker, not just lyrically, it feels haunted. And the hook 'Is Haunting Me' is fantastic not only lyrically. At first Rescue Me won me over with the more 'pop' kind of vibe, still unusual but more candy.... ...but I think Haunting Me is a better song overall, it needs polish (without losing the vibe) but I definitely prefer that one. The hook is way better than Rescue Me in many ways...and although I like the electronic vibe of Rescue Me, I LOVE the piano on Haunting me even more. Incredible vocals on both. Brilliant. Dek
  12. 1 like
    Yep, it's 10. We we're getting a lot of drive by promo posters who would make one post and never be seen again.
  13. 1 like
    You can only post there after you pass a post threshold. I can't remember exactly how many posts, but it's not that many. 10 or so? I can check and post back...
  14. 1 like
    Hi Leo really likes the branches and steel line, cooooool big disconnection with the use of the word "limiteless" something simpler to match the 7 and 10 motif such as "life had not limits back then" would for my mind work much better Regards Arty
  15. 1 like
    G'day NSJ took me a couple of reads to get into it but do like it and it feels sort of like a slow bass boom tish Nick Cave song. Arty PS don't see too many references to Radio Birdman on these types of forums!!!
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    You play! The show must go on. It's a bitch but you gotta play. I've played at Toy Runs with the bikers (was this a Toy Run?). They are pretty cool, and will let you off the hook as long as you give it a try. Not at least trying to go out and play is a 'no no' lol. Even 'big' acts have these issues but they have management etc. to help deal with them. I love in the movie 'Almost Famous' where the guitarist almost gets electrocuted (I been shocked on mics but never like that). Welcome to the jungle. Peace, TC
  18. 1 like
    I for one, could get really creative with that answer.
  19. 1 like
    Since it now includes posts about instruments and gear, perhaps the "Performance" discussion forum should be renamed "Performance/Instruments/Gear" or something similar to give all a broader heads up as to what discussion topics are there and should be posted there. Don't ya hate it when I I appeal to common sense?
  20. 1 like
    Haunting me, no doubt!! I must say I really admire Your voicecontroll. Outstanding!!
  21. 1 like
    Neat! I was reminded of maybe something from Nirvana Unplugged. Have you thought about introducing something new when you get to "dancing on the table"? I've heard the verse and chorus twice to that point and now I'm ready for something new musically. Then the return to the chorus would be more satisfying. I can hear that you've changed a bunch of lyrics from what you wrote here. It sounds like the new ones are improved, but it's hard to tell. You could edit the post if you want us to see the real lyrics. It also sounds like her long red hair has grown from her knees to her heels in the meantime :-).
  22. 1 like
    Hi Richard, Music: Intro is excellent. Surprising time shift. Verses are moody and engaging. Very nice. Chorus/refrain: Right from the start, it jarred. Ok the hooks are very effective & professional sounding, but it lost me immediately & I knew it was going to repeat a lot. The move to major and the time doubling are nicely realised, but it spoiled the song for me. Ending is lovely. Words are contradictory. Nicely arranged and they sing well. But any meaningful content is escaping me. I very much like your voice. I like the sounds of the accompaniment. Video: Great job. Very effective. The monochrome is stylish and fits with the stills. The slow moving zooming/panning all work great. It makes me want to try some vid myself. Overall: You are obviously talented & I'm glad this wasn't a rap tune
  23. 1 like
    Welcome to Songstuff, Michael! Looking forward to hear/read your work Ken
  24. 1 like
    Welcome, Michael. A Jersey boy should be using a bigger font! David
  25. 1 like
    J Morrison (C) may 2016 hand written note don't want to live with regret trying hard but can't forget the good times and happiness but they're over now my stuff left in a cardboard box outside your door at six o'clock a hand written note on the top it said we're over now you might be over me but I'm not over you don't know if I'll ever be baby that's the truth I can't get over you sorry doesn't mean a thing what relief can it bring to a heart that's suffering because we're over now tell me what I need to do anything you want me to I'll do it for you even if we're over now you might be over me but I'm not over you don't know if I'll ever be baby that's the truth I can't get over you I guess you can't be swayed so it's time to walk away nothing more to do or say but except it's over now you might be over me but I'm not over you don't know if I'll ever be baby that's the truth I can't get over you baby that's the truth