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Showing most liked content since 05/26/2017 in Posts

  1. 5 likes
    I play guitar, and I think I'm a solid player. But, I've been playing for decades. I also don't play guitar in all my stuff - not even close to it. A guitar is just a tool to make music, and there are a lot of such tools. You get little sympathy from me, and here's why. There are zillions of people right now all over the world making damn good music would don't play ANY traditional musical instrument worth a damn at all. Let me say that again so it sinks in. There are zillions of people right now all over the world making damn good music would don't play ANY traditional musical instrument worth a damn at all. With the technology available today, you don't have to play a musical instrument to make good music. The technology IS a musical instrument, and an incredibly powerful and versatile one. Can't play a guitar well enough to make good music? Then make good music using something ELSE. Get a DAW with a library of sounds and get to work. I can assure you that getting into the music tech to make music is tons easier than learning and practicing barre chords or finger picking to the point where you sound good doing it - and then there's the further learning curve of trying to get good audio recordings of your guitar playing. You say you have these "visions" for your songs . . . this one is a country tune . . . that one is a rocker? Where have your musical visions gotten you except still stuck on square one? They aren't visions. They're mirages. Get the tech, start making music and go where it takes you. The clock is ticking. It's time to, literally, "get with the program."
  2. 4 likes
    I found my dog on my porch at 3 a.m. one morning. He had broken away from his chain somewhere and the piece of chain still connected to his collar got wrapped up in the railing of my porch. No one claimed him, so I kept him, and I still have him. I named him Django, because he only came into my life after becoming Unchained.
  3. 4 likes
    The good news is, slow progress is perfectly fine. You'll get there when you get there. The best advice I can offer is... decide on a specific direction be patient (baby steps) Without having specific goals, it's damn near impossible to get where you want to go. Good luck and try to enjoy the process Tom
  4. 4 likes
    I don't remember how I found the website, but I really am happy I did. Most people in the real world don't know I make music as regularly as I do. Hopefully this will change with time, but this website allows me to put out these crazy ideas I have in my head without getting weird reactions. I find it easier to talk to strangers than people I know, but I feel like I've actually made some friends on here. It's because of all you guys that I figured out that music is what makes me happiest and, therefore, I need to continue to try my best for as long as I can. This is a community at heart: everyone is here to see each other succeed and help them in whatever way possible. I have also found some uber amazing music here and am constantly blown away by everyone's abilities and pure talent. Hell, some of the tracks I have listened on here sound more professionally mixed/mastered than tracks I have bought. Songstuff also allows me to listen to music critically, more so than I already do. With each track, I pick out specific pieces I like and don't like (production, instrumentation, etc.), and I think that's later applied to my own music. Really, this website has taken me in with open arms. I don't think I would have progressed as much as I have without this aspiration to create for and with a community. And I can only hope that one day I will be a fraction of how good some of you are ! I've said this before, but I'll never say it enough. Thank you for everyone who has listened to my tracks and offered invaluable input. Thank you for Songstuff for fostering a platform for my thoughts and the crazy ideas of everyone else on this site! Thank you so much..
  5. 4 likes
    Hi Sreyashi If there are issues within the song that make de rhyming an issue the other things that increase instability are. Rhyme type: Perfect rhymes are most stable so you can reduce the stability by replacing perfect rhymes with subtractive rhymes ( crying/die) all the way down to consonant only rhymes which is more of a sonic connection or alliteration than a rhyme (crying/cat). Having an uneven number of lines is unstable. Having uneven line lengths is unstable. In addition there is setting of the lyric in the melody. If you set one of the sadder lines "back heavy" that will increase the emotional impact. That is instead of the first naturally stressed syllable appearing on the first beat of the bar ( front heavy) you have it on the third beat of the bar. This works with contrast as some lines are front heavy some are back heavy. Example 1 2 3 3.5 4 4.5 1 2 How I’d dreamed of us to geth er 3 4 1 2 3 Turns out I couldn't be more wrong The bold words are the naturally stressed syllables each line is a 3 length. The numbers above are the beat in the bar the word falls on. "How" is on beat 1 (front heavy)"Turns" in line two falls on beat 3 (back heavy). The final thing you can do is weak bar phrase the entire song. That is start the vocal melody on an even bar number. So the intro will be typically 3 or 5 bars long. This adds a wistful sad feeling to the entire song. As an example of this if you look at a John Lennon song " Hey you've got to hide your love away" You will see the verse goes 2,2,3 2,2,3 (line lengths) and the rhyme scheme is AAB CCB. The rhyme types are all perfect. In other words even line length even rhyme pattern and perfect rhymes. All massively stable, since the song is sad this should cause a prosody issue and yet it doesn't. If you listen too it, it feels like someone sitting on the end of his bed singing sadly too himself. Why? because it's weak bar phrased the guitar is strummed for three bars before the vocal melody begins on bar four. If the melody had begun on bar 5 it would have sounded completely wrong with a disconnect between the music and the lyric. It is an important comment that you knew something was not right but not what. There is a misconception that if you are conscious of all these techniques and effects you can do with lyrical structure, that it will inhibit your writing, because your all bound up in all these rules. This is wrong, because you just write, then you say that's not quite sounding how it is in my head. You ask why, and if you know these techniques you can quickly say aha that's probably the problem very quickly. You can then apply fixes, starting from the easiest. Which in your case would be to weak bar phrase the whole song and that may fix it just like that. Cheers Gary
  6. 4 likes
    I can ask for help here when I need it. I do need it. I need to know about keyboards, production, mixing etc. I need to ask because I can never find anything myself here. It may be because I am poor at navigating the site. I think its because the site is hard to navigate. Really both reasons are valid, because as a long standing member I ought to know my way around. But its also true that there are others like myself who cant find stuff as well. Writing articles. A long time ago I wrote some music articles for SS. It made me check all the things I had taken for granted. As a result I consolidated what I knew, corrected what I assumed & became more informed. I feel I can drop in at any time and listen to music I had never heard before. That's wonderful. Most of all, this is a proper community. Its a place to share of bit of ourselves.
  7. 3 likes
    I've been listening a lot to Lorde and this is what came out.. a little Shoegaze and a little of something else.. I don't know. I'm just asking if it seems to be working or not.. and any suggestions? Thank you so much I haven't written the bridge yet Stepping over makeshift shadows on the ground Can't hurt their feelings but they'll hurt ours Sending off those hidden nightmares into sound Can't hurt their feeling but they'll hurt ours The clock in the closet Stops for the wrong reasons Rewind for the moment Count back to try to save it The clock in the closet Stops for wrong reasons Rewind for the moment Together can we save it Oh the night lives insides us All the light stays inside us Inside us Reflecting secrets, so dull they disappear We manifest and confess our fears, won't dry the tears Won't take you from here The clock in the closet Stops for wrong reasons Rewind for the moment Count back to try to save it The clock in the closet Stops for the wrong reasons Rewind for the moment Together can we save it Oh the night lives insides us All the light stays inside us Inside us Rest my head, change my bed, new words to be said Another day, as it fades, close my eyes and hold my breath Oh the night lives insides us All the light stays inside us Inside us Oh the night lives inside us All the light stays inside us Inside us https://soundcloud.com/jennifer8169456/wrong-reasons-demo/s-PZnZR Update: https://soundcloud.com/jennifer8169456/hidden-nightmares-full-demo
  8. 3 likes
    Hiya guys, I recently came back from a 2 week tour with a couple of gigs and a bit of vacation time too. I had a gig at one of the better known venues when I got to the country's capital. It was an absolute experience playing there. So the venue has this thing called "The Silent Song" which is pretty cool. Basically, at a certain part of the set, the staff of the venue ask the entire audience to stay absolutely quiet for that one song decided by the artist to be "The Silent Song". Bars shut, waiters directed to stop serving and everyone is requested to politely take their conversations outside or stay absolutely silent during this song. Their intention, as they explain is to see the song from the perspective of the artist. And most of the time, it turns out to be the most special part of the set. And to me it was indeed. I decided to do this cover of Jason Mraz for it. I knew it was going to be an intense experience to have a packed house huddled in silence but didn't exactly expect myself choking up. But anyways, I thought I'll share it to those who would wander on here Hope you guys are doing well! Cheers and thank you. P.S John and I have been working on some really exciting stuff for Songstuff. And we're looking forward to making this place much bigger and better. So to reduce the need to create another topic for this, I just wanted to say - thank you! For sticking around and making this place what it is. Can't wait for some upgrades.
  9. 3 likes
    Sorry that I didn't catch this earlier. I'm not sure whether you asked about the daily time it takes for a singer to warm up and get it to performance level singing? If you did, it pretty much depends. On the vocal health, how much rest you've given yourself the previous night, how hydrated you are/were. In my case, I do 15-20 minutes of breathing exercises first and a few stretches. And then do 30 minutes of vocal exercises (that I have experimented and decided on and found to be effective for me) over different scales. That pretty much does it every time. I feel absolutely good to go. If I still feel on rare occasions that it's not there yet, I do another round of lip rolls and that does the trick. Now on the other hand, if you were asking about how long it will take with daily practice each day to GET to a good point in being able to sing (whatever that maybe as decided by you), it depends. And that's my answer for your other question regarding multi-tasking too. Depends on how well you take care of your vocal health (or have the stamina and immunity to indulge yourself in the so called 'bad things' but this is never the approach to good vocal health. I say it with experience). Depends how well you're able to associate sensations in your body to the skill of singing itself. It's important to build good muscle memory right from the start when it comes to singing. And mindful vocal practice helps you be on your way. It also makes you more aware of any tension in your body and back off when needed. All these things are subtle in nature but extremely useful (and simple if you put your mind to it). So in such a case, being able to put some time and a place aside for your practice sessions work wonders! You might see yourself with ample but definite sessions each day working wonders for you. If you are multi-tasking, that may vary. Having said that, it doesn't mean you can't multi task and practice, especially when you've gotten to a point that you have good muscle memory of good vocal techniques. It's like you've learnt to ride the bicycle but you wake up every day, put some music on (my example of multi-tasking lol seemed appropriate) and you practice to get better. You're STILL practicing with a goal to get better but your brain and your body has built the muscle memory enough to know how to ride the bicycle while multi-tasking. Does that make sense? I find myself doing lip rolls without even realising sometimes - on the streets, in a cab and I will confess with a disclaimer that it was just once - in a public bathroom. lol EDIT: I wanted to add something that I swear heard it somewhere - Practice doesn't make one perfect, practicing perfectly makes one perfect. And that should be your focus regardless of how much time you have. Keep the exercises simple and practice being able to do those simple exercises PERFECTLY (because you know, it's a simple one we've picked). When you've nailed it down, make the exercise the TEENIEST bit more difficult. (For singers, it might be the note we are hitting. For a guitar player, it might be increasing the tempo on the metronome by 1-2 bpm, whatever it is). So tiny that you may not even notice. But your body will. Your vocal cords will. They will use the experience of the muscle memory from the previous exercise and try to accommodate in this new case, given that it would be a relatively easier task for it. And that will improve your skill by that tiny bit. After that you simply rinse and repeat! Anyways, all good stuff! Mahesh
  10. 3 likes
    @M57 Thank you for your nice comments and thoughts. I haven't attempted any percussion because they always tend to sound bad when I try, but sometime in the future I might revisit that option. @MonoStone and @Will Sketches and @Jenn thank you also for your input. I've made a near-final version, and I'm posting it here. I think any further edits will be minor touch-ups. I think I have completely gotten rid off SNES synths. But I still would love feedback, should any exist. I don't plan to post any more versions for now, but will just let it sink in. @HoboSage it's now called "Sonnet." Oh, and @MikeRobinson I also edited the lyrics in the verses a bit. the new lyrics have slightly less adjectives. New lyrics follow: Love Is without you and within you, all around you Captivates you, and destroys you, then at once evades you If I had wings I still would never leave Got my feet down on the concrete floor After all that time away, The earth keeps me secure I’ve decided I have said goodbye too many times before I’ve said goodbye, too many times Love Disproportionate, insubordinate, intangible As it slowly reveals you, against your wishes If I had wings I still would never leave Got my feet down on the concrete floor After all that time away, The earth keeps me secure I’ve decided I have said goodbye too many times before I’ve said goodbye, too many times (bridge) Before… Don’t need another reason to fall into another hazy dream, be it mine or someone else’s Love Hypersensitive, explosive, devastating inflicting deep cuts that need healing If I had wings I still would never leave Got my feet down on the concrete floor After all that time away, The earth keeps me secure I’ve decided I have said goodbye too many times before I’ve said goodbye, too many times Love Words descriptive fit rightly within a sonnet
  11. 3 likes
    I've been playing the piano with an instructor for about a year. We had a disagreement and now I'm on my own. I've been looking for a site where I could ask questions about blues and jazz music. I like all music, but right now that's where my play is taking me. I've tried a few other forums, but they were focused on specific types of music. I hope I've found a forum that might be able to help me a little.
  12. 3 likes
    step out on that highway I wonder if I’ll ever get home Two thousand miles away I wonder if I’ll ever get home Figured I'd chime in lol Some of the comments are pretty good Blues tend to be less is more. So lyrically you want to feel the pain. "Crying the blues baby" Not sure if you had a melody but if not grab some ol'blues and spin off it. wonder if I’ll ever get home Before the sun go down for good I wonder if I’ll ever get home It’ll be a dark and dangerous day This i would keep consistent with first. Not sold on the chorus. But wasnt sure how much input he wanted Rock on
  13. 3 likes
    Hi there! I just joined this forum, to have an easier access to others in the music industry! I'm a music producer and composer from Norway, running my own studio. Looking forward to check out some new music and contribute in music forums! - Sander Amadeus Thoresen :):)
  14. 3 likes
    With my (limited) knowledge of Blues it would go something like: Step out on the highway Wonder if I'll ever get home Step out on the highway Wonder if I'll ever get home I've done alot of walking And my mouth is drier than a bone But then if they were all like that they would all sound the same!. Although there is more 'catchiness' in that format.
  15. 3 likes
    Hey all, These are song collaborations that Andy and I were involved in recently: I was more of a translator to be honest. Andy helped her out with the english lyrics. Emi Maria is an independent R&B/alternative R&B, artist(Japanese). Hope you guys enjoy the songs, Ken/Andy
  16. 3 likes
    @tunesmithth & @Sreyashi Mukherjee, thanks for the listen guys. I've introduced another lyricist(a long time Songstuff member) to the artist, as well. And they have written one song together already which should be released soon. I'll make sure to post that song up as soon as it comes out.
  17. 3 likes
    Practice Recording.... If your playing is under par it might be that you simply need to allot special time in your day to practicing with a metronome (it works) and building yourself up from there. An old teacher of mine use to always stress playing scales before all else even if you feel you've mastered them and don't see the point of going through the route/rut process. Mostly because it builds confidence. If you play something simple but well it can offer confidence to play more. Practice the songs you are learning or want to record after you've practiced and record your scales. Not fast just at a medium tempo. Don't dive in to recording practice before you attempt to perform. Do this every day for at least a month. You'll gain confidence with your technique and comfort with your recordings. Listen to your recording each day but don't be too critical of your recorded performance. Don't expect overnight improvement. Understand that everyone goes through up slopes and down slopes when advancing technique. Mostly stick to it. Don't give up on yourself. It's extremely hard to maintain effort when you don't see immediate reward and are trying to do it all alone. If you can find a jam buddy, If not find a teacher. It's hard to judge your own development by yourself and maintain inspiration. Try to play out in front of others. Relatives, friends, co-workers anywhere you can get an audience. If they aren't throwing rotten food at you consider it progress and success. This will lead to confidence in general with your playing and help you to stay motivated. Often times it's confidence and concentration which are the real issues with performance. It can be hard to stay focused. There is a very good book which is intended for all musicians of all musical styles called https://www.amazon.com/Inner-Game-Music-Barry-Green/dp/0385231261 The inner game of music. In it the book discusses various internal issues which can stymie skills and creativity and how to overcome them. Me I'm not the greatest extrovert in the world and when I read it many many years back it helped me deal with internal conflicts which were working against my musical abilities. It's not just a bunch of hocus pocus "You can do it!" rhetoric. It contains strategies for success that anyone can use to release the "Inner mozart" within us all.
  18. 3 likes
    Hi Wheww...finally. opposites?? Any thoughts appreciated. Sorry about "baby" fought with the word..it won Thanks, Peggy Love and Logic Copyright 06/06/2017 Peggy L. Smart-Barnes ------ V 1 ------- Baby, baby, I've got something to say Baby, there's just no other way Kiss me first but no more denying Can't save love when logic's dying ------ C 1 ------- Hot and toxic as you wrap me tight You lead with love and it feels so right But we're not safe if love is driving You and I need to keep trying ------ V 2 ------- Baby, baby, oh you make me dream Baby, then you make me scream With no rules there's no use lying Can't save love when logic's dying ------ C 2 ------- Hot and toxic as you wrap me tight You lead with love and it feels so right But we're not safe if love is driving Oh You and I, you and I You and I need to keep trying --------- B 1 ---------- It's so complicated and I'm on the brink I'm so captivated that I can not think Reason becomes such a challenge But love and logic need to have a balance Love and logic need to have a balance Love and logic need to have a balance ------ V 3 ------- Baby, baby, don't struggle to share Baby, don't struggle to care Loneliness is worth the crying But we can't save love when logic's dying ------ C 3 ------- Hot and toxic as you wrap me tight You lead with love and it feels so right But we're not safe if love is driving Oh You and I, you and I You and I need to keep trying --------- B 2 out --------- It's so complicated and I'm on the brink I'm so captivated that I can not think Reason becomes such a challenge But love and logic need to have a balance Love and logic need to have a balance Love and logic
  19. 3 likes
    Hi TF This is not working. However, there is something there, I don't know what it is, but I am convinced it's not the beautiful voice. So I am going to try to find out what it is that is making it not work and see if you can fix it. Song idea Nut and hook. The song is unfocused. The song is about struggle and it's morbid it is not something we want to think about. The point of making it till Sunday is not explained therefor the hook and the idea fail. Understand this very clearly. People care about themselves. this is important. No one will be interested in a song about you it has to be about them. If it is not you are communicating nothing and the song will fail. This does not mean you can not write about you, it does mean that in writing about you, I can identify with what you are writing about and say oh yea I've felt like that too. It then becomes about me and I care. When I look in there I see two ideas that I like. They are: "The hardest part of battle is preparing for war" "I'll make it to Sunday " which an edit to "I'll make it Sunday" The reason being I can see a lot of expansion on the first idea. Sub ideas. The boredom waiting, the nervousness. etc. A lot of good powerful images can be worked up around that. In the second idea if I take out the to and make it "I'll make it Sunday" Then I'm half promising to meet someone on Sunday. Who? I'm not gonna say I'm going to leave it a mystery for now, so that the listener can put in their own who and that makes it """about them""" So now I am saying what is the the basic idea of the song. And I think it should be this. There is a relationship. It is not smooth and comfortable (please don't forget how hard I fought this battle) You want to continue it. (I've made it this far) You have invested a lot of emotional capital (please don't forget how hard I out this battle), (I've made it this farI think I can go on) You are not sure you have the strength (And if I can make it I'll make it Sunday ) Because there is going to be a finalisation one way or the other. (The hardest part of battleis preparing for war.) So there is now a frame work that a lot of your lines are applicable to the theme. We do not say who we are meeting, we do not obliquely say its a show down we use the battle too show that. So in conclusion of my thoughts on the song idea. It has to be about me not you, it has to be focused, the story is now in point form. We can say to maintain focus no line in the song can not refer to one of those points. Structure comments Analysis verse one for meter, rhyme, feel and pace. I've made it this far (2) X I think I can go on (2) X Don't forget me now the winter is coming (split line removed) (5) X Please don't forget how Hard I fought this battle (split line removed) (5) X Key: The bold syllables are the syllables which I would naturally emphasise in conversational english. They dictate the line length. The (2) bracketed number is the syllable count. The X is the rhyme scheme. The italicised comments are notes as to correcting set out issues. The song overall is an unstable subject. The verse is an even number of lines (stable) The line lengths are even (stable) The rhyme scheme is nothing rhymes (unstable) The result is a moderately stable structure. My subjective view is this should be wistful i.e. moderately unstable. So I can say one of the issues is a prosody issue, in that the feel and the content of the lyric do not match. There is an issue of pacing in that the line length goes 2,2,5,5 this is slowing the song down. If you simply do this you fix the pace. "Don't forget me now the winter is coming Please don't forget how Hard I fought this battle I've made it this far I think I can go on" It now accelerates into the pre chorus. If you do the following, you alter the line length smoothing out the acceleration, and you destabilise ever so slightly, getting the right amount of instability in there. "Don't forget me now the winter is coming (5) Please don't forget how Hard I fought this battle (5) after all I've made it this far (3) I think I can go on" (2) The verse now smoothy accelerates into the pre chorus and its slightly unstable it has uneven line length no rhymes but pulling it back is the stable even number of lines. Contrast. Contrast light and shade tension and release is essential in all art whether it be painting or songwriting. So the parts of a song should contrast. This means the pre chorus should be stable. This will contrast against the slightly unstable verse and chorus. Because we have no rhymes in the verse we should rhyme the pre heavily. Even number of lines even line length. We have to work with: The hardest part of battle is preparing for warThe hardest part of battle is finding something to live for. The first line is focused the second is not and doesn't fit the story. Analysis of line one The hardest part of battle is preparing for war (4) You can see that is a four length and the stressed syllables are even spread. This is the template for stability plus. Now what you need is three more lines. Each line must be a 4 with if possible the stressed syllables in the same place. There must be rhymes and if possible perfect rhymes. Because its a pre chorus the rhyme scheme must not be AABB. Because that will create a pace issue of forward motion stop after line two. So preferably it should be ABAB so pace wise we are marking time, without pausing. The content of the lines must reinforce line one, be about the waiting the boredom the fear, etc. So it can be stuff like: "The hardest part of battle is preparing for war The endless denial of feelings suppressed The hardest part of battle curled up on the floor Nerves jangle stealing breath from your chest " This is an example only of rhyme scheme, meter, stress, and focus, you can write your own pre chorus. I don't want to be rewriting your lines. On the other hand if you like any feel free to use them. The chorus I'll make it someday (2) A I'll make it someday (2) A And if I can make it (2) a internal X I'll make it Sunday (2) X The pace of the chorus is much faster than the pre as the line lengths are half (2) rather than (4) the forward motion is marking time as all line lengths are even. The chorus is stable, which is the same as the pre. So we have two issues with the chorus. And one plus. No contrast for stability with the pre chorus and no forward motion or pausing of forward motion. The plus the pick up in pace. What we might want to do here is bring the song to a pause at the end of the chorus before we go into the bridge. The reason being to provide some space for the hook to sink in. "i'll make it Sunday". I don't want to mess with the chorus at all because it has a lot going for it. It's simple, it has seeming repetition an internal external rhyme, so it's pretty neat. so if I alter the way it's written to this. I'll make it someday (2) A I'll make it someday (2) A And if I can make it I'll make it Sunday (4) A or we could have this I'll make it someday (2) A And if I can make it (2) X internal if I can make it I'll make it Sunday (4) A I feel this is probably the best solution. Its slightly less stable, and the song slows down at line three which emphasises the hook. The bridge. Content: This should either now reveal what is actually going on here. If you want to you can tell the listener exactly whats occurring. This is the reveal style bridge. Or you can allude to what's going on and add more mystery if you want. You just must add something to the story. The bridge for contrast should be either very stable or very unstable because the chorus is moderately stable, so you need contrast. This is important just like a physical bridge, it goes from somewhere to some where else. The somewhere in this case is the last line of the chorus. "if I can make it I'll make it Sunday" The somewhere else is this "I'll make it someday" So the opening line of the bridge must flow from "if I can make it I'll make it Sunday" Like for example. I'l make it if I can "if I can make it I'll make it Sunday I'l make it if I can" (bridge lyric) Makes sense together. The same at the back end. although I can make no promises I promise (bridge lyric ) "I'll make it someday" So It's been a bit of time here and that's way enough to be going on with, so you might want to consider and work through some of this. But before you attack the piano again after editing for these issues there is still more to do planing wise before you do the melody. Cheers Gary
  20. 3 likes
    Hi, ND. Yes, I agree that some non-specificity allows the listener to relate the song to their own lives.What I was struggling with was some general meaning for darkness and light that was consistent enough for a listener to grab onto and apply to their own situation. There seemed to be some contradictory meanings. For example in the first verse the lines my staying in the dark/Though it suits me perfectly suggest that the singer prefers the darkness. That's an interesting idea that taps into the idea that we all have a dark side. That's an idea that you can build an entire song around. However, in the next line contradicts that by saying it It’s a fake comfort after all. So is the singer embracing the darkness or is it a crutch? Some tension between those 2 ideas would be cool too, but it currently doesn't come across as an intentional contrast that builds tension. The chorus also suggests that the darkness is about loss. That's another meaning for darkness that holds universal appeal. So if you went with that as the central meaning that would need to be reinforced more in the chorus and the verses would need to revolve more strongly around that idea. Just my 2 cents. ~T
  21. 3 likes
    I've been a member for like almost six years. I joined in 2011. I first started learning to record and edit my music at home in 2009. That one followed the other is not a coincidence. After much hard work, i was finally able to generate a full song production, beginning to end. On a scale of one to sucks it pretty much sucked, but it was a full song. I reached a point where I felt I wanted to hear real opinions on the songs I was making, before they were finished. I initially didn't give much thought as to whether I wanted to hear from listeners or musicians. I just went looking for places to be heard and talked about. Do you like it? Hate it? If so why? ...for either point of view. I went looking... and found this place. A venue where musicians of all calibers and styles come to listen to original songs (and even a few covers...!...) and song ideas... to offer critique, get critique, and otherwise generally live and discuss all things music. Signing up was a given. To say I am glad I joined is an overwhelming understatement. Over the intervening time since I joined, I have posted my own song offerings perhaps 13, 14, maybe 15 times. Not every song I have worked on, but most of them, and all of my most important offerings for sure. The commentary I have received from so many wonderfully talented, intelligent, and conversationally gifted members here has contributed directly and substantially to the quality of my work. ...I am free to post anything, to go far afield and experiment. And I have. I have often reworked songs after hearing the comments on them here. My work is better, and my collaborations are more rewarding because of what I have allowed the fine core group of members here to contribute to my musical knowledge and experience via their amazing input on my work. I have also enjoyed listening to the work of others, and commenting on it. Participation here is easy, positively encouraged, and welcome. As a member in good standing here, I feel I am an acknowledged part of the community, with a reputation that reflects my own contribution to the site. And this is a place where achieving that status feels good. Feels meaningful. I think this is so in large part because the people who are members here are almost all serious amateur, semi-professional and even a few professional MUSICIANS. Not visual artists. Not promoters. Not marketers or advertisers... although many of them can and are all of these things and more... but MUSICIANS. And we all talk, and share, and grow here, together. Newbies, and beginning lyricists, singers and players will be made to quickly feel welcome here. In a word? There is simply no other web site like this on the net.
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    The more difficult you make it for potential collaborators to connect with you, the less likely it is you'll make a fruitful connection. I would think some, if not many, who only write lyrics might not have a Soundcloud account. Plus, you're limiting your pool of potential collaborators by putting up such an extra hoop for them to have to jump through just to hear the track you want lyrics for - an extra hoop that's unnecessary. Even if your track is private on Soundlocud, you can still get the "Share" link for it by clicking the "Share" icon underneath the track, copying that link, and then posting that Share link here, and then folks here can access the private track here without having to have a Soundcloud account.
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    Secret Message © BFB 6/2/2017 Dropped in on Beggar's Banquet for some fish cakes A smell of hashish meant the chef was stoned Dear Doctor, help, if they start serving raw steak (One more shot) Or sushi overcooked and filled with bones The cover charge is stiff, but after entry Mixed drinks at fifty pence, you'll let it loose The barkeep offers sympathy aplenty (Backstreet girl) Just jump off of her cloud, no parachute Want nineteen nervous breakdowns? Turn that forty-five around Wait for the secret message Charlie says the war is now But there's just one secret message Jumpin' Jack stole Liz's crown Turn up the jukebox, Jigsaw Puzzle's playing With Satan in the lyrics, listen close For Mick becomes a stray cat when he's ailing (Burden's beast) A prodigal who street fights holy ghosts The factory, that's where the girls audition Brown sugars vie for trips to KR's spa Sometimes saltines might even get a listen (Hey, negrita) If Mother's little helpers burn their bras Forget no expectations Turn that forty-five around Another secret message Trump will cause the world to drown Not a really secret message Hear the snowflakes as they melt
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    Aw. You poor baby. Should I cue the violins? You might want to consider the initial impression you're making - at least on me. Aside from whining for attention like a child, you do so while unfairly condemning the site, and your complaint is bullshit to begin with. That people are reading your posted poems is confirmed by the healthy number of views you have received - views reflect that, not comments. And, it's not surprising you have plenty of views, because you've taken over the top six spots on that board - partly due to your poor forum etiquette, selfishly posting four - FOUR - poems the same day - June 2. The truth is, I knew you were new here, and I was going to read and comment on your work until I saw that you posted four the same day. Then, I decided not to, and I sure won't be reconsidering that decision now.
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    I've got an instrumental album available here. These are all tracks I was going to write lyrics to, but decided to leave em alone. https://dallonghan.bandcamp.com/album/no-time-to-rest
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    I it mostly comes down to stubbornness
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    None. Though I have Rokit 5's, I don't use them, because no matter what monitors I use, the room I have to use is so poor acoustically that any set of monitors would just lie to me anyway, just like the KRK's do. I mix and listen to stuff exclusively via my Samson SR850 headphones.
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    Rudi, I had an extremely tough upbringing and have had many experiences in life that would have crippled many of less character. I am like a bull terrier with a bone when it comes to fighting for my life lol. I think I will be around for a while yet.
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    Jenn, don't change the verse from what is currently there. I can hear just how good it could be . It needs polish really... but I believe it could be awesome. I think you've hit on something very unusual but commercial sounding, in terms of the idea! It's hard to be specific in how to polish it overall. It just needs some work on the sound. I think maybe the vocals are slightly pitchy in places, and when you belt it out the vocal could be sat into the track better, and echo'd or multitracked. And that section needs more in the arrangement for even more shock strangeness. Keep going with it.
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    Revised lyrics. 18/6/17 Pep talk Calling all stations to gather your men and tell them to prepare for the worst, The enemy's coming he knows where we're hiding our lines have already been crossed, Our lines have already been crossed, Take this dear minute reflect on your choices forgive everyone you have known, You will be heroes when this is over we'll say you courageously fought, We'll say you courageously fought, Now pick up a shovel, a stick or a stone, and stand for the cause that remains, Our faith has been handed but our minds are free to act out our scene till the end, To act out our scene till the end, act out our scene till the end, Over the wire an ocean away a telegram boy moves his hands, The words he is pumping were ‘here by’ dictated by men who have gone home to bed, By men who have gone home to bed,
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    Check this out, Sumi: https://ehomerecordingstudio.com/best-daw-software/ If you do choose to go with GarageBand or Logic Pro X(which I am using), you can ask for my help any time(plus, there are hundreds of free tutorials on youtube as well). ✌️🤓
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    When you have found the woman of your dreams and she is reluctant to commit to a relationship because she fears that you are a player, you have to convince her that you are a sticker. I co-wrote the song with Italian producer Giampaolo Pasquile. It is sung by UK artist Joshua Hayes Until The Rainbows End_FMix 2nd.mp3
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    Hello all! I'm back again with a new pop song called "Girl Across the Bar". Tried some news things out as usual, but I love the bass-iness of the instrumental and hope that the lyrics I wrote fit well Thanks for listening, and tell me your thoughts! Edit: I worked with someone on this song and I was just responsible for the lyrics and vocals so I would particularly like critique on those sections since those are the ones I have control over at the moment Lyrics: You sitting real pretty over there, sipping on a drink while you’re playing with your hair oh-oh, baby You got my friends laughing at me, asking me ayyo whats it gonna be oh-oh. Oh am I outta my mind, because you’re something divine, and it kills me. I think I’m gonna make my move, because I wanna get with you, oh baby. Hey you, to the girl across the bar, you’re real cute, and I’d like to meet ya. I know I ain’t some superstar but we can still have fun, I know how to treat ya right. Bartender, get her what she like, swear I’m gonna treat you like a queen tonight. Feeling like I’ve known you for a long time, but baby it ain’t even been for a whole night. Hey you, to the girl across the bar, I’m so glad that I got to meet ya. Lets take a ride in a stolen car, drivin fast through the city with your head on my shoulder. Maybe its just for tonight, so baby here’s my number call me if you’d like. It don’t matter where we are, you’ll always be my girl across the bar. Let me ask you one thing, when you came for the night did you know you’d be looking for love? Maybe? Oh-oh, tryna start something new, hoping that somebody would fall for you, tonight… Oh when I walked in the room, tell me ya felt something too, like its magic. Feel like I’m running out of time, if I wanna make you mine, oh baby. Hey you, to the girl across the bar, you’re real cute, and I’d like to meet ya. I know I ain’t some superstar but we can still have fun, I know how to treat ya right. Bartender, get her what she like, swear I’m gonna treat you like a queen tonight. Feeling like I’ve known you for a long time, but baby it ain’t even been for a whole night. Hey you, to the girl across the bar, I’m so glad that I got to meet ya. Lets take a ride in a stolen car, drivin fast through the city with your head on my shoulder. Maybe its just for tonight, so baby here’s my number call me if you’d like. It don’t matter where we are, you’ll always be my girl across the bar. Take a chance cause you’ll never ever know if you don’t, This world is better when you’re not on your own. Nobody ever knows where anything goes, Got your eyes on me we don’t need to take it slow, slow, slow. Come on baby, living like its the last night of our lives. Like the things we do don’t matter till the sun rise. They say YOLO, you only live one life, Imma make the most of it imma take you in my arms tonight. Hey you, to the girl across the bar, you’re real cute, and I’d like to meet ya. I know I ain’t some superstar but we can still have fun, I know how to treat ya right. Bartender, get her what she like, swear I’m gonna treat you like a queen tonight. Feeling like I’ve known you for a long time, but baby it ain’t even been for a whole night. Hey you, to the girl across the bar, I’m so glad that I got to meet ya. Lets take a ride in a stolen car, drivin fast through the city with your head on my shoulder. Maybe its just for tonight, so baby here’s my number call me if you’d like. It don’t matter where we are, you’ll always be my girl across the bar.
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    I want another pet but with cats you have to get a couple to entertain themselves when your away. Not big on dogs. Can't imagine having one stay at home alone all day while I'm at work and then having no where to go.
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    Aww, thanks Jenn! It was indeed for me too. Some gigs just go great and this was one of those. There's not many venues here that go well with singer songwriters down here. And it does make things easier when the whole audience is tuning in. This was one of those.
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    Don't feel bad about getting a late start. Yeah, I was a drummer/singer professionally back in the day, but that's as far as it went. By age 23, I had stopped playing altogether.. Guitar, bass, keyboards, theory, home-recording, writing, arranging & production were all things I took up after the age of "40". Before beginning, I decided what my end game was, stopped at the local music store, bought an acoustic guitar & signed up for lessons. The rest as they say, is history. Don't kid yourself...not everyone begins as a child. Tom
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    Decide on a specific direction has been my greatest undoing because I can never stay there for long. I find that I'm good for maybe a few months and then I move on. For the last year I've been working out fingerstyle + tapping jazz standards. Its been challenging as I have to do all my arrangements for myself and they are constantly chagrining. Now I want to go back to sing and strum (so to speak) classic pop/rock folk rock. Mostly because that's how I feel most comfortable with busking. I've promised myself I'd start busking for years but never got my tail into gear and actually did street/park performances. I just started doing it and I have to get more organized. I hope I stick it out.
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    It's the Apple one - Music Memos - it's free. You also have the option to add a drum/bass background to assist you with your composition as well, really handy little app.
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    I know how you feel. Work something good out and then it all goes pear shaped at recording. Have you considered using 2 tracks for guitar? How about using your regular accompaniment (that is failing) just as a guide track (I assume you are also using a click track?). Then add other simpler guitar accompaniment, with an optional further guitar track to flesh it out? Delete the guide track before saving out.
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    Always one of my favorites:
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    The first collab of Johan (Jambrains on SongStuff) and Karen under the banner of their new virtual band Ashes for Dreams https://soundcloud.com/ashesfordreams/love-gone-cold LOVE GONE COLD Verse 1:The thought of living life aloneOf rattling round here on my ownYou know it frightens meYou say your words meant nothingSo tell me why you said themPlease enlighten mePre-chorusYou said we'd last foreverTook my hand and promised never to let goSo tell me what has changed for you Cos how can I be better if I don't knowChorus:I'm standing in the ashes of a love gone cold, a love gone cold,I didn't even know the fire had died, a love gone cold,You wanted me to love you more, not cast you aside This is not the dream that I was soldVerse 2:You're right I fell so hard for you I spoke about our future with such confidenceI knew that I could bare my soulUnleash all of my demons without consequencePre-chorus:But fear has taken hold of meTurned me into someone you don’t knowI refuse to drag you down with me I had to turn the other way to let you goChorus:I'm standing in the ashes of a love gone cold, a love gone cold,I didn't even know the fire had died, a love gone cold,You wanted me to love you more, not cast you aside This is not the dream that I was soldM8:Can’t you see I’ll love you still my dear You might have turned from me but I’m still hereI’ll be the sun to melt that icy fearYou’ll be alright if I can hold you nearToo late my love, too late for me to stayIt wasn’t me who took your hand that dayI’m sorry for believing I could changeYou can’t love an illusion anywayChorus:I'm standing in the ashes of a love gone cold, a love gone cold,I didn't even know the fire had died, a love gone cold,You wanted me to love you more, not cast you aside This is not the dream that I was sold
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    Retro agree with above critiques a good write waiting to be a great write in my humble opinion . instead of sissies maybe (it maybe to harsh ) losers and after all these centuries ( instead of 14 ) war has been going on since day one religion also from day one just different Gods ? because life's not for losers but getting up and doers stand tall and lead the way no time for side liners moaners or whiners their not going to save the day just my 2 cents john
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    A few days have passed, several others have left comments & it occurs to me that I do have a bit of advice to pass on. Between the ages of 14 and 23 I played in bands continually. Some were very good...some not so much. Thing is, the ones worth saving all shared a similarity. Every member was interested in getting better...as individuals & as a group! Here's what I would suggest.... Call a band meeting, not a practice...an actually sit-down meeting. Make a list of every one of those things that went wrong at your gig. Everything you named earlier & anything additional you can think of. Discuss every one of those issues individually at your meeting...focusing less on individual blame & more on corrective action. I have news for you...every one of those problems you named earlier has a simple solution. The answers may involve small equipment changes of upgrades, changes to your physical stage setup, better personal preparation (practice), better...heavier or newer guitar strings, spare guitar kept within easy reach, an easier to read set-list or a different individual in charge of monitoring it, no excessive drinking before or during the gig, etc. Anyway, you get the idea. Problems don't solve themselves & they don't disappear because everyone feels better about themselves. Serious musicians don't hide from their mistakes. They recognize them & take corrective action...the end goal being "not to screw up the same things twice". People have to want to improve. If the desire is not there, the result won't be either. A meeting of this type should give you a clear idea of where things stand. You'll know enough to make an informed decision how to proceed. Is the group worth saving, or not? If you decide it's NOT, then I'd probably get together with the experienced female & decide on a long term plan. If you're both interested in leaving, you may want to play the remaining gigs while you're scouting around for a new group, or new individual players. That's what I'd do! If it turns out you're dealing with a bunch of folks who are unwilling or unable to accept personal blame & address shortcomings, that's a recipe for disaster. Good luck and I hope this helps some. Tom
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    Grab, specifically, line number two, and hold onto it very tightly. "Standing on a ledge with a rose(!) as a beacon(!!)" Where? With what? As a what? In one unexpected line, right out of the gate on the second line I've heard, you "hooked" my interest. There she was, standing on a ledge at the edge of the sea, holding on to her rose, gazing at a distant lighthouse. In my mind, in one line, "there she was!" Strong images can do that. The chorus is very well-anchored with the repeat, "Turns out I couldn't be more wrong." So, by line six, I know that: the ledge was real (the character is in a risky situation), the rose is real (of course, a symbol of love therefore a future), but it's not really a "beacon." She now realizes that she had no path forward although at the time she thought that she did. Okay, now you need two more sets of verses like that. The second couplet could stay because it reflects "what happened next," or, "her reaction," and the key reveal that there was "a scheme laid out for me." (And yet, also "bliss.") Our character is being pulled in two ways. Very good. So, the coup de grace third verse. "Coming back from the dead" doesn't work because it's a fly-ball coming in from left field – unexpected, without precedent, and coming much too late in the song to allow for that sort of thing. Instead, in just two lines, it needs to clearly point forward. Any of the three symbols from the first verse could be back-referenced but no new content (such as zombies) can be introduced. It should clinch our understanding of just why she is now (repeatedly) saying that "Turns out I couldn't be more wrong." And to suggest what her new view is going to be. You might also find a way to make good use of that old standby, "the bridge." Following the second repeat of the chorus, and in a contrasting style and rhyme-structure, you can insert two, four, or why not three lines of basically-expository verse. You can introduce new symbology there, especially if you decide to include another strongly-visual symbol comparable to the "rose/beacon" of line #2. (A comparable purpose for being there.) When the bridge ends, we are now working with two clearly-separate lines of exposition: the one that came from the first verse, and the new one that just came from the bridge. You're now set-up for a killer third-verse which incorporates both. You can also do unexpected things like adding a fourth verse which immediately follows the third before the final chorus and outro.
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    Just a start: The Young Will Steer the Old There's a typewriter collecting dust This young man thinks he will teach us Old guys, new tricks Humph! don't think they mix He grew up a cellphone in his hand Digital native in Holy land Young man, cool life Looking through clear eyes It's a strange twist of fate How life ends up like this Faster than a blink Smarter than you think As you look, behold! the young will steer the old Driving down the streets I thought I'd teach Younger ones see a two way street Wise men lecture Childish adventure It's a strange twist of fate How life ends up like this Faster than a blink Smarter than you think As you look, behold! the young will steer the old Clear as a bell Muddy waters never tell Where they came from, where they're going to Guided by technology To succeed in society It's a strange twist of fate How life ends up like this Faster than a blink Smarter than you think As you look, behold! the young will steer the old
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    Ashes for Dreams is the new band project of Johan Alm (know on SongStuff as @Jambrains) and Karen O’Mahony, formed to cement their musical partnership after a successful and invigorating year of collaboration which started with the release of Lie with Me in May, 2016.Both coming from completely different cultures and musical backgrounds - incorporating between them classical, traditional, folk and rock - they had each previously produced solo work vastly different to the other’s. Their first collaboration, the brainchild of Johan and an eyeopener to both band members and their followers, was the first of an EP-worth of songs produced in their first year of collaboration.Johan’s style is heavy rock with a unique and gritty vocal style and guitar work admired and envied by many. Karen’s natural home is more folk, which to their surprise works beautifully in a heavy rock setting. Together, they are a magical combination, particularly when they duet - their distinctive voices blending as if made for each other! Johan gives Karen more edge, Karen keeps Johan’s Rock God under control...It shouldn’t work, but it does
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    Like clockwork … Happily, my son is going to have a painting he did shown at an upcoming art fair that has an area showcasing student work. Here's the list they sent, notice my son Casey's name. Clark Sonia Munoz-Kirk Clark Aubrey Guffey Clark Lizzy Hancock Clark Kaden Loving Clark Farrell Browne Bristol Bergen Neal Bristol Gus Wasson Bristol Gigi DeMaggio Bristol Casey Drillingas Bristol Rebecca Fairbanks and Sofie Hepfinger Clark Catherine Buster Clark Emery McReynolds Clark Eliza Drayton
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    Hi Chicken picker, I’ll to offer as much constructive critique as I can. I’m really only a beginner myself. The first thing I noticed is your constant pronoun change, which brings down your song. The standout moments are in the last line of Verse 1 and the first few lines of Verse 2. With the last line of the first verse, I understand that you’re trying to create drama, but you lose none of the impact and gain a lot more clarity by changing the line to “That left one woman and ‘I’ was still in bed.” The second verse could be changed to “Now I am the household prima donna/ I don’t share my crown/ And since I’m prone to psychodrama…” The use of the pronouns he and him didn’t immediately stand out to me in Verses 1 and 3, but as I read on to the chorus, it would be best to change these to you/your. I notice that you did this consistently throughout the rest of the song. Moving on, another point of contention is that I cannot tell what song form you’re going for. i think it may be beneficial to cut some of these verses up and pair together only your best lines. For example, I would cut the second verse and combine Verses 1 and 3. Verse 2 offers too much information that we can already infer from the Verse 3. The speaker flying out of bed tells the reader that she’s standing up to her husband’s actions. I would also change the first line of what is currently your third verse to “I sat upright as he walked out the door”. As for the last two lines of that same verse, I would change it to “And I grabbed his jacket as he got into his car,/let him know he won’t be going too far.” I would suggest a change to the chorus as well. “I can’t be your mama when we’ve got a family./Not when being your wife is what you chose for me.” Something along those lines. Verses 4 to 7 don’t offer a lot of variety and the rhymes seem a little forced. So I would try to come up with something more specific. I have a suggestion for a verse below: It’s become such a drain being someone so needed. You’re causing me pain, but you think I’m conceited. Overall, I think you’ve got a good idea here with some nice highlights. I like the visual of a wife getting out of bed to stop her husband from running off. I think you could try to bring this out more by having the husband tell the wife “I’m running late” or something like that which would lead her to go off on another tangent or verse. There’s also a lot of humor in this, which is not really my specialty. The above suggestions don’t really do much to bring that out, but if you keep editing you could end up with something that strikes a nice balance of being funny and sad. The last thing I would suggest would be to be more specific. It will only add to the uniqueness of the song. Thanks for posting this and good luck!