Skin

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Skin last won the day on August 24 2016

Skin had the most liked content!

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249 Legendary

About Skin

  • Rank
    Old Git!
  • Birthday 09/10/1959

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    New Zealand
  • Interests
    Guitar, song writing, motorbikes, martial arts and fun.

Music Background

  • Musical / Songwriting / Music Biz Skills
    None, Zilch, Nish.
  • Musical Influences
    Deep Purple,Eagles, most music from the 50's on

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    Give It To Me Both Barrels

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. Writing is the challenge, it never ends! Lol😋 Post away Summer
  2. So tempted to try this one! http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-39830447
  3. Cant argue with this T, well,written and I loved the recording. ~L
  4. Welcome Will, sunny here in NZ this morning 🙂
  5. Hi Ali welcome to the group and good for posting this. I have added a couple of ideas that came to me as I read and they are only my thoughts and hope they help in some way. Not much of a critiquer but like to offer something when I can. All just ideas that may work or not but also may spark something for you. I like that you are using the 2nd part of the verse as a refain but in the last verses it doesn't make sense as it did in the 1st 2 just my thoughts. Like the story and I think it just needs a bit of TLC Good luck Les At Green Hill Retirement Home/ Ending up in a retirement home Medicinal stuff got stoned/ we got stoned on the medicinal stuff We rolled our wheelchairs down the hall Never straight and crashed at the bottom / Wondered if "we crashed and burned" works for this line throughout the lyric? Mmm just a thought. Also burned as in smoked? Laughing til our sides were aching In our mouths, the grass was fragrant.... These 3 next lines dont make sense now! Edit. I get the line above now! What a dummy for missing that! Sorry Ali. On our backs, we just lay there Watching clouds and space invaders Chorus At Sunny Hill Cemetery....buried deep now in the ground That is where we were buried....we still get our ghostly highs? Not sure just an angle to try? We keep on rolling in our graves? Never straight but always burned? Just an idea for the last line in this verse reference puffing lol!
  6. A rap huh? More swear words than the swear word dictionary! If one exsists? Certainly not for the challenge! Not finished but about half there no tweaks. Keep this one to myself. just my thoughts on your lyric but I like the overall of it. LG
  7. Nice Peggy, for some reason and could just be me I think you could lose the "full" in the chorus? You might need to add something, maybe The Mystery? Not sure. One thing is the verse and chorus sort of follow each other in that 3rd line, I wondered to drop it in the verses? Might need a bit of tweaking but would change the similarities between them. Perfumed to draw you in? Just my thoughts. Of course with a verse change? Like this and you have captured a lot of the spider in this but others I am sure will give you deeper insight than I. Les Ps mines a rap that I wouldnt post in adult section lol!
  8. Pegs is great So true. I think that goes for both of you but thats just my opinion! L
  9. Funny you mention blues, it reminded me of a lyric I wrote for a 12bar blues challenge.
  10. Hi Dawn Not religious myself but could def hear this sung in church, again like Gary you used the element well throughout the lyric. Keep posting. Les
  11. Who is this ginger? Lol! Seems this is a dig at someone but I don't know who the poor bugger is, again lol! But you did get your chosen element in there and promoted it well, Consistant theme moving forward with different, well not sure attacks is correct but digs goes well. And of course Gary I could be completely wrong about the lyric which would not be unusual for me. Glad you are continuing in the challenges mate. Les
  12. Nice bro.
  13. Flirty girty from number 30 lol I liked Timbre's description, it is a bouncy lyric just whizzes along. Les
  14. Hi Gary Good to see you in the challenges. Yeah got ya on cliches I was never conviced on the idea of the lyric as a whole. Funny I was on my exercise bike listening to Deep Purple Child in time and checked how long i had been going and was giing to stop but thought na not stopping going for gold lol! I will have a look later at work now or supposed to be. Cheers Les