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Skin

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Skin last won the day on August 24 2016

Skin had the most liked content!

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250 Legendary

About Skin

  • Rank
    Old Git
  • Birthday 09/10/1959

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    New Zealand
  • Interests
    Guitar, song writing, motorbikes, martial arts and fun.

Music Background

  • Musical / Songwriting / Music Biz Skills
    None, Zilch, Nish.
  • Musical Influences
    Deep Purple,Eagles, most music from the 50's on

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    Give It To Me Both Barrels

Recent Profile Visitors

6,144 profile views
  1. Nice write bro!
  2. No critique just thought I would say I like this👍
  3. Hi Jenn Made a tweak in line 3 both vereses but might not work With your melody? I had something different going as I read it. I put lines together in V 2 to match V1 might not work for you, again just as I read it. wasnt to sure of the " He came from over hills" line but I see you have a ryhme scheme going in both vereses (over/over have/have) I was looking at rewording that line but thats me all over lol! I think I like the original in the chorus as is. Unusual write and fresh so I like it. Les Verse 1 Chords: Dm Am E Am When Mr. Fox took my hand He stared me in the eye Said it's better not to have a plan He came from over hills And stumbled over rocks Never relying on those ticking clocks Chorus Chords Dm Am E F Time always breaks and Love leads you astray Never keep your hope In a far away place (Or.. It's better not to have hope in a far away place.. I'm not sure if it's too repetitive) Verse 2 Chords: Dm Am E Am When Mr. Fox saw my face He knew there was no trust Said these lies Couldn't keep me safe All the rivers I have crossed And songs that I have sung Could never hold my love for long
  4. What a story, thanks for posting👍
  5. I got a tune John. It may be day time, but who really cares? Nice write you always deliver good stuff. Les
  6. Like PP's interpretation on crack in the sky .... Line just some thoughts below, I wrote something similar to this but he survived.👍 Like the idea bro Les The road was dark and slippery And the driver high as a kite It happened oh so quickly In the blink of an eye No regrets, no feelings And?/But a crack opened up in the sky...(reference to PP's idea)
  7. Writing is the challenge, it never ends! Lol😋 Post away Summer
  8. So tempted to try this one! http://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-39830447
  9. Cant argue with this T, well,written and I loved the recording. ~L
  10. Welcome Will, sunny here in NZ this morning 🙂
  11. Hi Ali welcome to the group and good for posting this. I have added a couple of ideas that came to me as I read and they are only my thoughts and hope they help in some way. Not much of a critiquer but like to offer something when I can. All just ideas that may work or not but also may spark something for you. I like that you are using the 2nd part of the verse as a refain but in the last verses it doesn't make sense as it did in the 1st 2 just my thoughts. Like the story and I think it just needs a bit of TLC Good luck Les At Green Hill Retirement Home/ Ending up in a retirement home Medicinal stuff got stoned/ we got stoned on the medicinal stuff We rolled our wheelchairs down the hall Never straight and crashed at the bottom / Wondered if "we crashed and burned" works for this line throughout the lyric? Mmm just a thought. Also burned as in smoked? Laughing til our sides were aching In our mouths, the grass was fragrant.... These 3 next lines dont make sense now! Edit. I get the line above now! What a dummy for missing that! Sorry Ali. On our backs, we just lay there Watching clouds and space invaders Chorus At Sunny Hill Cemetery....buried deep now in the ground That is where we were buried....we still get our ghostly highs? Not sure just an angle to try? We keep on rolling in our graves? Never straight but always burned? Just an idea for the last line in this verse reference puffing lol!
  12. A rap huh? More swear words than the swear word dictionary! If one exsists? Certainly not for the challenge! Not finished but about half there no tweaks. Keep this one to myself. just my thoughts on your lyric but I like the overall of it. LG
  13. Nice Peggy, for some reason and could just be me I think you could lose the "full" in the chorus? You might need to add something, maybe The Mystery? Not sure. One thing is the verse and chorus sort of follow each other in that 3rd line, I wondered to drop it in the verses? Might need a bit of tweaking but would change the similarities between them. Perfumed to draw you in? Just my thoughts. Of course with a verse change? Like this and you have captured a lot of the spider in this but others I am sure will give you deeper insight than I. Les Ps mines a rap that I wouldnt post in adult section lol!
  14. Pegs is great So true. I think that goes for both of you but thats just my opinion! L