HoboSage

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Everything posted by HoboSage

  1. With this song, I rpresent myself as a different kind of "player." https://soundcloud.com/hobosage/molecules-2017-by-hobosage-all-rights-reserved/s-sG7tA s Reserved.
  2. Ya know, the hiss sounds to me like it's dead center, with no reverb on it, and mono. Why is that? Do you have multiple mics on the piano with one panned dead center? Could the hiss be a problem just with one mic? Just spit ballin.' We all have hiss when we're recording analog instruments and vocals. But, I think your hiss issue is more problematic than you should accept as being typical, Mark. Something's not right. I just listened to Hello Everyone again (still love it). I'm assuming you did that with the digital piano. It's super-quiet - hell, it's damn-near pristine, and it sounds great - with no problematic hiss from the vocal mic. Did you get taken on those new mics you bought awhile back - Chinese sweatshop knockoffs? I dunno. But again, something's not right. I want your recordings to sound as good as the songs you write, play and sing. Despite what your ears have grown accustomed to and what you might tell yourself and what others might say, I think it's undeniable that you have a pretty significant hiss problem. And remember, I was right about the kick being off center. Just sayin.
  3. Welcome back, Dek. Fab song. I quite like it. The chorus chord progression is a well-worn one, but you save in typical Dekster style with the unexpected slide-down to a major chord as a resolution. I have a couple of nits about the recording, I don't know why you throw a heavy, thick blanket over the snare for the first pre-chorus from about 0:45 to 1:02 - you don't do that for the second pre-chorus - but, I think it sounds really weird - and just plain "bad." It also sounds to me like your main vocal goes fairly flat as you sing "sauton sands here" from about from about 1:47 - 1:51 - everywhere else the vocals sound great. Good Stuff! David
  4. I think it sounds great, Mark - except, for a couple of things - hiss excluded. To my ears listening in headphones, both the kick and the floor tom are conspicuously panned to the right in a not-so-good way. I think the kick should be centered - dead center (it's a bit to the right), and I think the floor tom should be just a bit away from center, and it's pretty far out now. Having that low thud from the kick and low boom from the floor tom in just my right ear wasn't very conducive to a pleasant listening experience. Even if you bring it further in, the floor tom may still be a bit too loud/boomy with the current EQ and volume settings. Except for the little noodle as you sing "and blue" during the phrase "green and blue," I think the electric licks are very tasty! The note you end on as you sing "blue" sounds good. But, the higher bend thing right before that sounds kind of hokey to me. Of course, these are just my opinions and personal tastes. Regardless, I still love most everything about this song, performance, arrangement and mix. Kudos! P.S. I'm still going back to work on older stuff.
  5. I know it's post-contest, but I wanted to pop in in say I personally think the drums sound good and work really well for this - though I think you have too many fills during the section where the guitar solo plays. FWIW, I would only have two fills at the two main transition points during that section, because, for me, the other fills put too much of a "hitch in the giddy up" while the solo plays, and kind of detract from the solo. Good Stuff!
  6. I'm not sure of the computer system you're using, but even if it's a desktop, it's really not all that much to take to some location away from your dorm where you can set up and record vocals as loud as you want. I mean, part of paying dues for many musicians- at least ones who are truly committed to their music - is having to "lug gear." Couldn't you find a place away from your dorm right now where you can record your vocals in private? Perhaps the school itself has a decent-sounding room it would let you use from time to time for recording - if you just asked. I assume your summer break starts soon, but maybe this is something to keep in mind when you go back to school next term. Just sayin'.
  7. Cool! I think the bridge would hit home a lot stronger if he could go higher to sing it. Going back to another verse lyric again after the bridge feels like a big step backward in the evolution of the song to me. A verse that was instrumental with a killer lead line following the bridge would work well though. I also think the bridge could stand to be longer too. So, I'm wondering if the third verse lyric could be incorporated into a doubly-longer bridge. With a longer bridge, the song could, and should, then go from the bridge right to the double-long final chorus. I think the song would sound great that way too. (Double Bridge Idea) To one I’m good To one I’m evil To some; bring peace To some; upheaval It all depends on your point of view To one I’m a target To one, deflected To some I'm desired To some, rejected It all depends on what's deemed taboo Just an idea, and just my opinions.
  8. I think I like it a lot. I'd be more sure if I could make out the words better. Many of them are lost to me.
  9. Pretty good start on a something I think has loads of potential, Lisa. But, while the person on Facebook may have some skills as a loop slicer and splicer, I suspect they're not so much a musical arranger. If they were, every fiber of their being would tell them that the chorus here has to hit with a new chord. Just my opinion from barely half a barrel.
  10. "HoboSage" represents a dualism I feel (which is why I write it as two conjoined capitalized words), and I first expressed it in an older song of mine about me entitled Anthem Of A HoboSage. When I joined Songstuff, I opted to use it as my member name, and it quickly grew on me to the point where it became my artist pseudonym. Sometimes I wonder why many more folks here call me "Hobo" as opposed to "Sage" though. Sure, hobo is listed first, but I'm half sage, and it's my better half damn it! I personally like "Jenn." I think with the double "n" spelling it's pretty cool. Off the top of my head, "Jenn sing" describes you, and sounds a lot like "ginseng," which I also think is cool. Spelling it as "Jennseng" would be unique and might make folks ponder you a bit more. Perhaps that could be a Soundcloud-worthy alt name for you. David (a.k.a., The Sweetheart)
  11. I really don't think the virtual drum kit is working very well in this one, Paul. First of all, I can barely hear the drums. But even at a louder volume I think they would likely still sound too "small." The whole kit is dead center and dry. I suspect they might be loops intended for use in "alternative rock" - which I've found tend to be loops that are very dry and mono-sounding, from "small" sounding kits. The rock beat in this is a great choice. I just think this needs to have that rock beat come from a much bigger-sounding virtual drum kit. As always, these are just my opinions, but that's all I've got. David P.S. Very cool title. I may have to steal it.
  12. Rock lost one of its greatest-ever voices.  R.I.P, Chris Cornell.

  13. Great to see you back, Dave. Damn sweet arrangement, and fine playing an singing. Good recording too. I have two nits - the drums and the lyric. Overall, the drums sound good and appropriate to me, except for the crash cymbals and the stick work during the chorus. I know I seem to always complain about when you choose to have a crash hit, but, at least I'm consistent. Some just seem out of place to me, and there are other points where I think there should be one and one isn't there. I also think the super-wide spread between the left and right crashes in isolation without any "bleed-through"" sounds too conspicuously "fake." Side stick hits for the chorus in this tune just sound weak and "wrong" to me. I think this chorus is aching for a "boom/bam/crack" of some sort there - something with some power and punch. Even if you can't get rid of the stick hits because they're inexorably intertwined with a drum loop you need, you could augment those stick hits with a snare and/or tom or something that booms/bams/cracks - and I think you should. There's nothing wrong with the lyric, per se. Though, it does already kind of render the song "dated." But, my main complaint is that this is really a killer piece of music, and I think you waste it by putting it to a lyric about our f*ckin' doofus Russian President. He's not worthy of this music! Just my opinions. David
  14. I'm waiting for the brain implant and heads-up display so I just have to think what I want done, then I can get drunk and experiment.
  15. Good for arm muscles, maybe bad for carpal tunnels.
  16. "Fine" = very good. "Roll off the lowest lows" from those synths = EQ them so that the lowest frequencies don't come through to compete with the bass. Why are you always "afraid" of what I think? I'm a sweetheart! . . . except when I'm not. Boo!
  17. Well, I think this is our British friends telling us Americans it will be okay. Anyway, though not my cup of tea musically, I still think it's a solid tune and I think it sounds good. I personally might like it more if the tempo was a little faster - or maybe a lot faster. For a tune having a sound with such a quirky vibe, it feels like it drags to me.
  18. I really dig it, and love the playing and singing. (I only listened to the new version.) But, except for the LInn drums idea, I agree with everything the caterpillar said. I'll add that I personally think the song takes much too long to open up in the stereo field and that even before the first chorus I think the guitars should get away from dead center. Right now, for quite a long time from the start the song is really mono-sounding with only the stereo reverb on the snare providing sound away from center. I also think the chorus power chords would better serve this song if they had a little more balls - i.e., fuller-sounding chords with a little more distorted sustain. After all, you're saying you want to "rock with your love." Good Stuff! P.S. For this kind of tune, I don't need to hear a deep lyric to appreciate the song. But, I think this write could be more sophisticated and still suit the song. Even the hook is pretty unimaginative - certainly no Little Red Corvette. But, that's my bias. I want to hear more Prince and less Michael Jackson.
  19. A fine song and a fine production effort, Jenn. My thoughts: I would roll off some of the lowest lows from the low-sounding synths you have panned both left and right - especially the one on the left - because they complete too much with the bass. The four-on-the-floor kick sounds like it's panned a bit to the right, and I think it needs to be dead center. Lots of white noise from the mic, but that may in large part be due to you having to crank up the gain because you have to sing so softly. Adding other voices to the solo right-panned "hope's not so far away" backing vocal and then having those backing vocals fill more the stereo field could sound sweeeeeeet, even if those other voices sang the same vocal melody without harmony. David
  20. FWIW, here's what I think: the song is fab, your playing and singing are fantastic, your instrumental and vocal arrangements are brilliant, and your choice of synth sounds are perfect for this song. I also think if you add any percussion at all you'll kill the whole live-sounding and unexpected rhythmic flow at the heart of this piece, and I think if you use any kind of sound that sounds remotely like some lame-ass synth squeeze box you'll make a big mistake. I think the arrangement sounds great - as is. As for reverb on the main vocal, you could add some, or you could leave it as is. I personally like how it sounds now, because it doesn't sound like every other piano+vocal mix. But no matter what anyone's opinion is about that, like everything else that's been said, it's just an opinion. Adding reverb to the vocal will make the song sound different, but I don't think it will make the song sound "better." It's purely a creative choice. In my opinion, all this really needs to truly sound objectively better, is a mic pre-amp that doesn't pump out so much conspicuous white noise every time you sing. I know you're dealing with that issue as best you can, but near the end at about 3:14 to 3:16, in addition to the white noise there's some audible rustling. Anyway, FWIW, that's what I think. David
  21. "You hold the power, I hold a sign"
  22. I really like this (good hook too), except for the the third and fourth lines in the first verse. The fourth line just doesn't feel like it rolls well cadence-wise to me. I think "we're both holding on to life" would roll a lot better, and convey basically the same thing. Having one party in the third line "hold a gun"? One party holding maybe a Bible, while the other holds a sign (though all sides hold signs), is a situation where mutual understanding could happen. But, if one party is holding a gun and the other is unarmed, no way. In this context, having one party holding a gun just strikes me as overly extreme, and doesn't well convey a pro-gun-rights person as much as it does a potentially violent and dangerous person. Just my opinions. P.S. "Hold your tongue or hold a sign . . . we're both holding on to life" might be a good alternative? Just a suggestion.
  23. Sometimes the real power in a message can only be heard while listening in a room for interpretation that clarity hasn't furnished.
  24. Hi, Richard. Welcome. Click on the "Music" sub-forum of the main "Showcase" forum. Near the top of that page on the right side you should see a dark rectangle icon for "Start new topic." Click on that. If you don't see that "Start new topic" icon, you may need to have more overall posts before the software lets you start your own topic there - not sure. David