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TJ007

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About TJ007

  • Rank
    Active Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    Canada
  • Interests
    Songwriting

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Maybe

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    Any and All

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  1. Hey John, nice write I really dig it, you have a way with words. Well done. What I am hearing here, is a Country rap song. It's a bit long, but not when it's sung as a rap song. Good luck with it. Write what you feel, and feel what you write. Peace!
  2. Hi Tom I like your lyrics it's simple and it's a good write. The below afterthought came into mind for your song, thought I'd share it, Hope it's helpful to you. Good luck. Tonight, Tonight let's drift away like oceans waves do. Make every moment count my love, and dream, dream together like we used to do
  3. 'The night the stars forgot to shine' New Write (all rights reserved) Written by © tj007 2017 Genre: Emo/Goth/Depeche Mode (slow) Mood: Emotional-break-up Intro: The night the stars forgot to shine, you stopped loving me, I stopped crying over you, when you stopped loving me yeah, yeah! You stopped love me. The night the stars forgot to shine you stopped loving me when my heart felt dim and I needed my friend you deserted me what is it that you want you said? those words right there they killed me, they killed me instantly ---------------------------------------- I heard you 'Screaming' from a-far Bye.....Bye.....I don't need you anymore Bye.....Bye......I finally found what I'm looking for You've never been the one. I only made you think you were --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Now Lost is the lonely, blind was me Played was the heart, that couldn't see A love far gone, that could never be (or) a friendship gone, that could never be Close' or, re-stored again -No, No! Not, ever again -------------------------------------------- I'm glad you found what you're looking for You're with the right crowd now You don't need me anymore And it's alright with me, Yeah! It's alright with me, Yeah! ----------------------------------------- I learned my lesson well Don't need to re-live this hell I can see Heaven clearly now And my songs will live to tell Tell you that I'm through~~~ Through crying over you~~~ I stopped crying over you, when. (Pause) ----------------------------------------------- Chorus: The night the stars forgot to shine And you stopped loving me I stopped crying over you...When you stopped loving me yeah, yeah! You stopped loving me The night the stars forgot to shine you stopped loving me I stopped crying over you...When you stopped loving me yeah,yeah! You stopped loving meeeeee~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.and fade out....
  4. 'Broken' Written by: TJ007 © 2013 (All rights reserved) V1. Broken, is how I’m feeling Everybody’s leaving Too many crosses This heart can't bear anymore Goodbyes, nor losses Becoz, it leaves me Chorus 1: Broken (Lift) Broken and confused Broken (Lift) Got nothing left to lose But my, Sanity. Too much sadness Repeated pain Fire, fire' Burning flames' I guess, when it pours, it rains~~~~~ (Lift) Leaving me, Chorus 2: Broken (Lift) Shattered into pieces Broken (Lift) Wounds wide open And, hope is my only cure. Trying (Lift) I'm trying to get past the pain Trying (Lift) To fight the things that stain My heart, and leave me blue V2. But how can I? And how can I, get through this without you? How can I heal, when I can't help but feel All this madness is getting me down Haven’t been myself since you’ve gone And I’m left here crying on Crying (Lift) I’m crying like a child Crying (Lift) Like I've never cried myself to sleep Before now Bridge: I don't have all the answers to All the Why's, I wish I knew I simply have a mother’s heart, And this mother’s heart knows, love~~~~ (Lift) Only it’s been, Chorus 3: Broken (Lift) Shattered into pieces Broken (Lift) Wounds wide open And, hope is my only cure My Hope is To know you’re safe and sound My hope is To see you alive and found Don’t wanna die with a broken heart? I just wanna feel Chorus changes: Un-broken (Lift) Un-Broken, not confused Un-broken (Lift) Not lost without any news Un-Broken (Lift) I just wanna feel Un-broken (Lift) Un-broken..........Un-broken
  5. Awesome re-write, have nothing but good things to say. I Love it, makes the listener feel the emotions conveyed...You have a good song, your story really flows well together, and your happy ending, captured to perfection Well done.
  6. Hi scotsman89, I loved reading your lyric...It flows well in my head. Well done to you and good luck with it. TJ007
  7. Hi Anton, I enjoyed reading your lyric, although I'd have to agree with Vagdavercustis, your 2nd verse got me confused mate. I couldn't understand what you meant by (I got into your house. Saw you and went blind) Please explain a bit further. In addition, BK is spot on about his suggestion of "faded photographs" instead of Broken photographs. Good luck with your lyric and stay inspired. TJ007
  8. Thank you Jim, sorry about the loss of your mom as well. Peace and love!
  9. Hi Anton, I liked you’re lyric very much; you painted good images, and it reads nicely. Perhaps some of my suggestions in the chorus below might be somewhat helpful to you. Either way, your lyrics are lovely and come from the heart. I wish you good luck with your writing. Well done. ‘Save my world ' (Suggested title: Found My Way) See what you think, and feel free to use any of my suggestions if you so desire, and if you feel they would work for you. I've set high goals That I alone can't achieve And if I fail I'll know if I'm deceived In desperate times I very much hope to succeed Can't say I worked hard Then why do I bleed? Chorus: In my try; to define; happiness In my attempt; to save my world; by myself I almost gave up, stood down, halfway (Suggestions 1 only: I almost gave up, stood halfway, down (or) Suggestions 2 only: I came close to giving up, and as I stood halfway, down Then made my mind up, and found, my way (Suggestions 1 only: then I realized my strength, and found my way around (or) Suggestions 2 only: I made my mind up, and found, my way Repeat: I found my way around (Maybe throw in some backing vocals: with a few halleluiahs in there, and turn it into a Leonard Cohen type song I expect no miracles Yet at heart in them believe Made some new friends Stopped thinking I was weak A new life out there I don't feel the urge to leave (backing vocals: anymore) Stopped asking myself "What's happening to me?" (backing vocals: anymore) Repeat Chorus: I've made mistakes Too dark for me to see But over time I changed my beliefs Found what matters most And I (!) (slight pause) (Add the word: felt my sanity retrieved The war in my mind Ended (!) (slight peace) and gave place to peace Repeat chorus:
  10. Hey Anton, I prefer the original chorus too...Thank you for feeling the same way. I don't plan on changing it at all, it's staying like it is cheers !
  11. Beautiful, heartfelt & inspiring write. Kudos for you. P.S. If only everyone loved eh? A question mark that lurks around in my mind constantly? Longing to see a change...! Stay inspired, work hard, dream big. Good luck to you!
  12. Thank you for your understanding and condolences. Peace and love to you and fellow members, TJ007
  13. Great start, Awesome write..Loved your 2nd verse very much...You've conveyed cool images throughout. Well done, and best of luck with it...!
  14. Perhaps you should use the words I talk a bit funny instead of I talk so funny. and call your chorus 'Reminds me of you' Hope this will help you with the images you are trying to bring across, a few tweaks here and there would help take it to another level. Good luck.