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Simone

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About Simone

  • Rank
    Hidden Talent

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    South Africa
  • Interests
    Songwriting, reading, learning laguages

Music Background

  • Band / Artist Name
    Simone Simone
  • Musical / Songwriting / Music Biz Skills
    Composer, lyricist
  • Musical Influences
    Too many to list

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    Give It To Me Both Barrels

Recent Profile Visitors

1,181 profile views
  1. Johnny (try)

    Noted! Thanks for your thoughts Pahchisme! Noted! I don't think there is a definite chorus in the song because of the way the song is structured. SO, I guess that is the problem; there is no climax. Thanks for your thoughts Will! Appreciated...
  2. Johnny (try)

    Hi All I revisited a song I wrote 4 years ago, but added some more guitar components to it. I'd like some critique in terms of: - Lyrical content and flow - Song structure - Overall feel of the song Aside from the lack of other instruments, something is missing from the song but I don't know what. Thank you for your time. Lyrics are as follows: johnny sits in a corner hung up on an idea chasing something he now believes untrue sacrifice just ain't enough when you stop believing in you his colors drip n fade but his shone through before johnny sits on a bar stool pours another friend strong enough so that he feels fine again happiness doesnt last at the bottom of a bottle like the booze in his veins a crooked smile excites then fades [instrumental] johnny rearranges the blocks in his barricade paralysed by the fear to change clamping his desires these embers never fade his got his head in his hands if I could I'd give him chance toss me a crystal ball read his palm what do your cards say? is his future red or grey? johnny sits on a staircase pours another friend strong enough so that he feels fine again johnny don't stop believing don't fight the feeling don't hide the colors you've shined when skies weren't grey ain't no mountain too high too climb spread your wings n prepare to fly life is just gonna pass you by if you dont get up n try said aint no mountain to high too climb what you feeling is a state of mind life is just gonna pass you by come on get up n try gotta get up and try All rights reserved © Johnny (try) 2012
  3. Hi guys Trust you are all well. I've written this song a year ago and decided to bring it back to life again. So, if you have time to spare please have a listen and share your views in terms of lyrical content, feel, music arrangement, instruments etc. It's quite an honest piece and covers a topic prevalent in todays society. Thanks in advance His eyes are red like fire Voice echo's through the house I cup my ears to block the scream and shouts Mama cries face down Her silence speaks loud As the bull ravages the house His eyes are red like fire And Mama gets pushed around Furniture screeching Heavy breathing Mirrors cracked Someone's bleeding Apologies, slammed doors Trampled pictures Engines roar Mama lock the door Things like this don't happen to people like us Her cries echo like thunder Should I offer help? I've never seen her bruised like this before Broken glass Blood stains, swept away But the memory remains Her cries echo like thunder And I don't know who to blame Furniture screeching Heavy breathing Mirrors cracked Someone's bleeding Apologies, slammed doors Trampled pictures Engines roar Mama lock the door Things like this don't happen to people like us I'm too young to understand Does love mean hiding scars and bloody hands? Paint on smiles to blind the eye Living a lie to keep you satisfied Does love mean hiding scars and bloody hands? Does love mean hiding scars? Furniture screeching Heavy breathing Mirrors cracked Someone's bleeding Apologies, slammed doors Trampled pictures Engines roar Mama lock the door Things like this don't happen to people like us Copyright2014 http://www.reverbnation.com/stmaryjne?profile_view_source=header_icon_nav
  4. She Sat In A Room

    Hello Wrote this one a few days back and tried to make sense of it and give it more direction. Keep an open mind and let it take you anywhere. Thanks. Cheers she sat in a room her broken heart blue staring out a window knowing what to do with a beat down pair of boots she dashed out of her black black bedroom to a corner like finding water she built a great big Damn.... You for leaving me here Damn you for leaving me with Your voodoo magic, so appealing Pin me down with just one feeling Damn you You aint gonna get in You aint gonna get in YOu aint gonna get in this time oh no You never gonna get in Cant let you get in You wont get in this time oh no (instrumental) You aint gonna get in You aint gonna get in YOu aint gonna get in this time oh no You never gonna get in Cant let you get in You wont get in this time oh no she sat in a room her broken heart blue staring out a window wishing to fit through
  5. Love Is Dead

    Hi everyone. Thanks for listening. I meant to get to this reply sooner but you know life and her busy schedule. Anyway, I have been working on some changes with the song. I do feel that the long, drone of an "Oooooh" sound was flat and long at the time but continued with it anyway since I couldnt find anything to fill the space. I tried the chorus as you suggested David (to the best of my understanding from your description) and it worked a bit better. I should also stop being so lazy and try to sing a bit higher. Regarding the guitar work, no offence taken Kaige. I think the sound has a lot to do with the guitar being plugged directly into the interface. I will experiment more with capturing the sound using a mic instead to give it some feel now that I moved into a place with better acoustics. Thanks for pointing that out. I was uncertain with the bridge - not sure if it fit the song - but that's what came out at the time so I tried hard not to fight it. I did hold back David. Quite a bit as not to create unnecessary noise. But as I mentioned, I need to use a mic to create a stronger presence of the guitar in future. I have a pretty decent one so it shouldn't be a problem. I did alter the bridge entirely to break away from monotony. I hope to post an updated version soon. I really enjoy this song and would like for it to work. Thanks a ton for listening once again and your commentary. Much appreciated Have an awesome week Happy days:)
  6. Love Is Dead

    Hi guys I've been dormant for quite some time but managed to write a new song that's been bugging me for some time. I'd like to know what you think about the song in terms of : 1. lyrical content 2. structure 3. style 4. chord progression/ melody etc and what elements could be added to it to give it a fuller sound. I really enjoy playing it but want to know if it needs more work. Thanks in advance. Lyrics are as followed: You say after all we're just friends And it stabs like a dagger left of my chest Volcanic eruption in my head You say after all we're just friends I hit the table, you turn your head This is nothing like you said Tell me how your love is dead Love is dead Sinking deeper in the ground Outta sight, outta sound Don't do this to me now You drew your curtains long ago I sat upfront for your peepshow I never knew, never knew You had it in you You drew your curtains long ago Played me like a fool Was I just a tool I never knew, never knew You'd tell me how Your love is dead Love is dead Sinking deeper in the ground Outta sight, outta sound Don't do this to me now You say "Of all the things I could've done Loving you was so much fun But forgive me darling when I say You're not the one, not the one" And I say "Of all the things I could've done Loving you was number one Believe darling for you I'd move the sun, move the sun Move the sun" You say after all we're just friends And it stabs like a dagger left of my chest I never knew, never knew You'd tell me how YOur love is dead Love is dead Sinking deeper in the ground Outta sight, outta sound Don't do this to me now http://www.reverbnation.com/c./poni/268758676
  7. What I Think

    Hi MP Thanks for your time. After actually thinking about it, the word"sniffing" does seem out of place....and kinda weird. Hehe! That's the way it came out when I wrote it and didnt bother much with editing but I will replace it with "wearing" instead since it's a better fit. Then.....the "cherry blossom" line...hmmm I'd have to work on that one. Thanks for your suggestions too. Then,thanks for the Chapman compliment guys - I don't really see the connection but it comes up a lot at shows as well. Have yourselves a good day. Thanks Middleground
  8. What I Think

    Hi Rick It makes me happy that you enjoyed it so much, you decided to jam along to it. I'm curious to know what it sounded like.......hmmmmm(hint, hint)! Thanks for the listen Have a good day
  9. What I Think

    Hi M57 Thanks for the listen. Urhm....I'll consider cutting the word "shirt" without it sounding like cursing...hehe. Thanks for the suggestion and have a great day.
  10. What I Think

    Hi David Yeah it's been a while hey. Must be the festive season that's approaching and converting me into a pool of laziness. I like you idea! That does sound more pathetic. Will definitely change that line. Hahaha "ripped out"...well when you're collecting multiple single strands, that's exactly what it starts to look like. Thanks for the listen, David.....you have yourself a great week.
  11. What I Think

    Hi guys. I trust all is well. I wrote (and recorded) this a while ago and am curious to know what it sounds like to others. Is it a potential song or just one of those songs that serves as an "exercise"? Thanks in advance for your time... I took a walk to dry my eyes Sipped some red wine To clear the inside I rearranged the furniture To forget your face But your presence It lingers like a bad smell in this place I ain't gon' cry I ain't gon' dwell on all these memories Asking why you did what you did I know, I know, I know soon Im'a be fine All well then tripping on things like... Sniffing your T-shirt Holding onto strands of your hair I hear you voice echoing somewhere in the air I'm gon' miss you more than the cherry blossoms in spring. Boy I do miss you At least that's what I think. Wrote down these feelings Tore it up Set it on fire And warmed myself up I'm no prisoner of heartbreak baby Ol' folk be asking where you been Your face don't come around here no more I could care less Oh no, don't mistake this for being upset I ain't gon' cry I ain't gon' dwell on all these memories Asking why you did what you did I know, I know, I know soon Im'a be fine All well then tripping on things like... Sniffing your T-shirt Holding onto strands of your hair I hear you voice echoing somewhere in the air I'm gon' miss you more than the cherry blossoms in spring. Boy I do miss you At least that's what I think. SOLO Sniffing your T-shirt Holding onto strands of your hair I hear you voice echoing somewhere in the air I'm gon' miss you more than the cherry blossoms in spring. Boy I do miss you At least that's what I think. Copyright 2013 Simone. All rights reserved. http://www.reverbnation.com/stmaryjne?profile_view_source=header_icon_nav
  12. Bang, Bang

    Hi Nina Woah! You opinion made me ...well....made me smile. Thanks for that. I'll work on the production a lot more even though I hate sitting in front of a computer...urgh! Thanks again for your time cheers
  13. Bang, Bang

    Hi Tom Hehe thanks, given that I don't really sing. Appreciate the time and commentary. Glad you enjoyed it
  14. Bang, Bang

    Hey Ashookzappa Thanks for the listen. Much appreciated
  15. Bang, Bang

    Hi Desertrose. Thanks you for your time. Yeah, I agree with you on the chorus - I was holding back. I've got terrible neighbours so I make very little noise to keep the peace. But no excuses! I'll keep working on it. I like the idea of higher harmonies too. Thanks again for the listen and suggestions
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