Okay, I have taken into account all of the critiques, I hope my new retitled version shows some progress.
Although I liked the previous title, I agree with the "Poor me" and I think that title belonged more to my first write rather than my re-write. I was going to retitle as My Elusive Dream, but I seem to recall one years ago, so I retitled as Elusive Dream.
I changed all v to 10 lines, added a pre chorus and changed the bridge, got rid of all the lines that needn't be there. Do you think the bridge serves it purpose and is ok as is, or should that be an alternate pre-chorus? If the later is right, then I still need to add a bridge.
Or keep as bridge, only move to the end being:
V, PC, C, V, V, PC, B, C
Let me know if there is still work to be done.
Okay this might sound really stupid, but I don't know how to add the new version so I will post as a new topic, if that's okay. I'll first try to edit original by adding new version at the end of my original.
Jan
Okay, new lyric is at the end of my original post