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los peelos

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Everything posted by los peelos

  1. Hi, I heard Jordyn play a snippet of "Bitter Pill" the other day and I can't tell you how impressed I was! I had a vision of how it might sound but she's made it sound beyond anything I imagined... I told my mate Shawn, her father, I wanted to jump out of my chair when she started playing! She is so busy tho winning all the local talent competitions and writing herself- I heard one of her songs and again, so impressed.. im not pushing her for a demo of my song but its coming..

    hasta pronto, Neil

    1. john

      john

      Where is your online "home"? Where is your music available as a resumé? Are you pitching any other songs to other artists just now?

  2. Quote

    You don't need a good memory, just good memories..

     

  3. When it comes to you

    Ive changed the chorus and line 2 in verse 1; When it comes to you V. As it is it isn’t anymore What it was we had i wasn't sure But i know it shook me to the core And i liked it V. As it is it isn’t either way What it was i couldn’t really say Love was just a game we used to play And i liked it CH. When it comes to you - i can't get enough Nothing i won't do - just to feel your touch When it comes to you - even when you're gone All i ever do - is keep hanging on When it comes to you V. As it is it isn’t anymore What it was I’ve never had before You were always knocking on my door And i liked it V. As it is it isn’t either way What it was could be again some day You were always leading me astray And i liked it CH. When it comes to you - i can't get enough Nothing i won't do - just to feel your touch When it comes to you - even when you're gone All i ever do - is keep hanging on When it comes to you BR. Every other time - i said this time will be better Every other time - it was now or it was never V. When it comes to you - i can't get enough Nothing i won't do - just to feel your touch When it comes to you - even when you're gone All i ever do - is keep hanging on When it comes to you
  4. When it comes to you

    thank you Ray! Neil
  5. When it comes to you

    hi Cheryl! was wondering where ud been thanks for ur time. A friend asked me how I write songs the other day and I said I start with a catch phrase or an idiom and build around it. I establish the rhythm thru the syllables in that line. It always gets me off to a good start but mimicking that in a 2nd/ 3rd verse makes it tricky, but its what I love.. playing on words ie as it is it isn't... I look back at any of my lyrics and honestly see maybe 1 or 2 that I really feel is complete. But I see great ideas in most of them. Recently I started picking ones I think are worth finishing- like I just re wrote "bitter pill" (actually 5 or more times since I last posted) and I know I get closer each time. This would be in my top 5 favs im flattered u like it and ur help is much appreciated! Neil
  6. in one of those stages.. a few new lyrics in progress but no time.. my friend Jordyn Richards likes "bitter pill" which has changed slightly since last post.. she has been working on it so I hope to share it soon..

    this is Jordyn playing her rendition of "Billy Jean"

     

    1. Ray888

      Ray888

      Hi Neil, the verse key feels just a tad low for her. She might benefit from taking it up a semi or full tone providing she can handle that in the chorus. The cover song she has chosen isn't the best of choices for her because without the vibe that michael had it will always sound a bit lame with basic guitar.

       

      I do wonder if she was to let someone else play the guitar whether she would focus more on her vocal because I noticed that she is concentrating on her finger placement with the chords which can distract from the performance.

       

      She seems to be quite young in voice so has plenty of time for it to mature. I think she needs more time to progress and has a lot of potential.

  7. "Bitter Pill" rewrite

    there's a lot of stuff I've written in the past I think is worth refining.. I always liked this chorus idea. A friends daughter is an aspiring performer looking for material so there could be a recording with any luck soon! The original was posted 11/8/14 ill post it below.. Verse; I have to say, some things have changed Since you’ve been gone, i don’t belong I have to say, i feel estranged Although i prayed, and i stayed strong While i remain, you’re moving on I have to say, i’m disengaged chorus; Bitter pill so hard to swallow Couldn’t save me from my sorrow Couldn’t fight the fear i’m facing Couldn’t keep my heart from breaking Bitter pill so hard to swallow Couldn’t save me from tomorrow Verse; I have to say, blue skies are grey The days grow old and nights are cold I have to say, in disarray I’m not the same, as i’ve been told And it’s a shame i lost my soul I have to say, i’m not okay Chorus; Bitter pill so hard to swallow Couldn’t save me from my sorrow Couldn’t fight the fear i’m facing Couldn’t keep my heart from breaking Bitter pill so hard to swallow Couldn’t save me from tomorrow Bridge; Without one good reason why Without one last kiss goodbye How am i supposed to feel When the truth becomes a lie Chorus; (repeat)
  8. "Bitter Pill" rewrite

    im thinking of changing the line "i have to say" to "i can say" or "i must say" and thought of another bridge, opinions would be appreciated bridge; you said love will never die when you knew it wouldn't last if the truth was just a lie then the future is the past
  9. "Bitter Pill" rewrite

    hi, and thanks for your time. I've said before that I struggle with choruses, but bridges are where I really struggle. I spent the last few days working on this bridge. im never quite sure when I should or shouldn't use one, though I think its required here. I do want to be sure the lyrics work before giving them to someone to sing, so ill continue working on it. thanks for ur other suggestions though id like to keep verses as they are, cheers mate! Neil
  10. "Bitter Pill" rewrite

    11/8/14 Bitter Pill ive got to say ~ some things have changed since you've been gone i dont belong ive got to say ~ i feel estranged ive got to say ~ although i prayed and i stayed strong ~ you're moving on ive got to say ~ to my dismay ill never know ~ where did you go nothing is clear ~ you disappeared ill never know ~ why is it so ill never know ~ so i suppose im facing fear without you here ill never know ~ and im so low bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from my sorrow couldn't stop the tears im tasting couldn't keep my heart from breaking bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from tomorrow couldn't ease the toll its taking couldn't keep my heart from breaking ive got to say ~ the skies are grey when days grow old the nights are cold ive got to say ~ in disarray ive got to say ~ im not the same and ive been told I lost my soul ive got to say ~ im not okay ill never know ~ if you will show your face again ~ its such a shame ill never know ~ but i have hope ill never know ~ the window closed i cant explain this kind of pain ill never know ~ im indisposed bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from my sorrow couldn't stop the tears im tasting couldn't keep my heart from breaking bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from tomorrow couldn't ease the toll its taking couldn't keep my heart from breaking tell me what it takes to shake the memories i cant forget the full effect you've had on me we really had a special kind of chemistry and with you is the only place i want to be bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from my sorrow couldn't stop the tears im tasting couldn't keep my heart from breaking bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from tomorrow couldn't ease the toll its taking couldn't keep my heart from breaking
  11. RADIO FREE WORLD lyrics

    hi Vara! wow.. that was a visual feast! great rhythm and flow, original, indie feel to it.. I think its kick ass material... love to hear the end result.. Neil
  12. Second Hand Truth

    hi Dan, honestly, i think its a great write.. being a 1st its even better. I like the fact its simple. I could suggest some ideas but i think it works as is so i wont. The best lyrics are the ones that come without thinking and are usually from the heart. Lyrics dont have to be anything more than what you want to say. Keep 'em coming! Neil
  13. When it comes to you

    now im thinking "what it was we had i wasn't sure" for line 2.. in fact ill change it now.. cheers
  14. When it comes to you

    thanks John!
  15. When it comes to you

    thanks tz; re. what "it" is, i could put "but i know you shook me to the core.. the line "i liked it" is to me relevant because as crazy and unpredictable even toxic that relationship i loved every minute but a different perspective always helps thanks for your time! neil
  16. When it comes to you

    ive changed the chorus, and the 3rd & 4th lines are what were originally in the chorus for a while before i posted. I thought "hanging on" was a bit cliche but as far as my last relationship is concerned it sums it up exactly... we've had 3 stints totalling 7 yrs and roller coaster is putting it lightly.. and Tom suggested the last line which really works for me and evens the flow especially for the tune i have in mind.. 1st chorus; When it comes to you - i can’t get enough I don’t think it through - i was out of touch When it comes to you - love can be so rough Everything you do - is a bit too much 2nd; When it comes to you - i can't get enough Nothing i won't do - just to feel your touch When it comes to you - even when you're gone All i ever do - is keep hanging on When it comes to you
  17. Country music, whisky and a little rock and roll.

    mate for a 1st attempt its pretty damn good... the best thing is if u keep writing u will only improve. neil
  18. When it comes to you

    thanks Peggy - im so flattered!
  19. When it comes to you

    thanks man.. ill have to pull my finger out (lol)
  20. When it comes to you

    as always, thanks Tom. ill try that. It might help the chorus flow back into the verse too.. cheers mate!
  21. Country music, whisky and a little rock and roll.

    hey john, i too like what you've done. it may be to do with the melody you intend but i felt, if anything, there's a few "filler" words you could do without... i dont know the genre but it could fit a few i think.. it struck me as hip hop or rap, but it could be rock.. here's a few ideas; Welcome to the human race boy, are you fit to run. A word of warning they start races with a gun. And if you want to win don't try to run too fast, the winner in this race will always come in last. And if you cross the line completely in control, stick to country music, whisky and some rock and roll. this would change ur melody but i think u should keep trimming here and there. good stuff! neil
  22. When it comes to you

    and ur suggestion helped.. now im thinking; when it comes to you - i cant get enough nothing i wont do - just to feel your touch cheers
  23. When it comes to you

    thanks mate, i know a lot of my stuff can be tongue twisty. I actually have lists of hook ideas that ill write down ie; as it is, good to go, hell to pay etc. and then ill work around the hook. Ive usually got 2 or 3 1st verses for diff. songs going at once, and ill end up finishing 1. Quite often mixing 2 ideas together. I feel at ease writing verses, but definitely struggle w choruses. This chorus changed many times tho small changes. I guess i tend to force my chorus when i have finished verses. Thats why my last write (good to go) has a simple chorus, and i think it works well. I tend to over use or have too many hooks and i see ur point re "when it comes to you" taking a back seat... thanks for your time and input i appreciate it! Neil
  24. Good to Go

    Hi, lately my quest has been to write short lyrics. Ive had my share of bad break ups, but regardless i feel songs about love and loss the easiest to write for me. I love "in depth" lyrics. Billy Joel is one of my inspirations, but im intrigued by short songs. They show there are no bounds to writing a great song. My favourite example is "you are so beautiful" by Joe Cocker. The fact it doesn't make the process any easier proves song writing is a delicate art... "Good to go" You know i know you I know you know me You do what you do I get on my knees You know i wont lie You say when and where Without asking why You know ill be there Im good to go You know i know you I know you know me For all we've been through What of "what will be"? You know i dont mind I know you dont care They say love is blind You know ill be there Im good to go Just say the word Im good to go As if i knew any better When you knew it all along Love to me is all that matters You just love to lead me on And im good to go Just say the word Im good to go I know you know Im good to go As it occurred Im good to go (fade)
  25. Good to Go

    thanks Tom so glad you enjoyed it... my vision of this has guitar solo's after each chorus.,, cheers mate Neil
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