nsj

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nsj last won the day on December 6 2015

nsj had the most liked content!

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About nsj

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Birthday October 8

Contact Methods

  • MSN
    zytmcd@gmail.com

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Australia
  • Interests
    writing, guitar, singing

Music Background

  • Musical / Songwriting / Music Biz Skills
    lyricist
  • Musical Influences
    AUS;
    radio birdman, cold chisel, powderfinger, temper trap, jebediah, magic dirt, divynls, jezabels.
    USA;
    filter , tame impala, pearl jam, phoenix, F.F's, aerosmith, chilli's, henry rollins, lou reed, nicks, veruca salt,
    UK;
    sex pistols, who, led zep, cure, birdy

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. im thinking of changing the line "i have to say" to "i can say" or "i must say" and thought of another bridge, opinions would be appreciated bridge; you said love will never die when you knew it wouldn't last if the truth was just a lie then the future is the past
  2. hi, and thanks for your time. I've said before that I struggle with choruses, but bridges are where I really struggle. I spent the last few days working on this bridge. im never quite sure when I should or shouldn't use one, though I think its required here. I do want to be sure the lyrics work before giving them to someone to sing, so ill continue working on it. thanks for ur other suggestions though id like to keep verses as they are, cheers mate! Neil
  3. 11/8/14 Bitter Pill ive got to say ~ some things have changed since you've been gone i dont belong ive got to say ~ i feel estranged ive got to say ~ although i prayed and i stayed strong ~ you're moving on ive got to say ~ to my dismay ill never know ~ where did you go nothing is clear ~ you disappeared ill never know ~ why is it so ill never know ~ so i suppose im facing fear without you here ill never know ~ and im so low bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from my sorrow couldn't stop the tears im tasting couldn't keep my heart from breaking bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from tomorrow couldn't ease the toll its taking couldn't keep my heart from breaking ive got to say ~ the skies are grey when days grow old the nights are cold ive got to say ~ in disarray ive got to say ~ im not the same and ive been told I lost my soul ive got to say ~ im not okay ill never know ~ if you will show your face again ~ its such a shame ill never know ~ but i have hope ill never know ~ the window closed i cant explain this kind of pain ill never know ~ im indisposed bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from my sorrow couldn't stop the tears im tasting couldn't keep my heart from breaking bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from tomorrow couldn't ease the toll its taking couldn't keep my heart from breaking tell me what it takes to shake the memories i cant forget the full effect you've had on me we really had a special kind of chemistry and with you is the only place i want to be bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from my sorrow couldn't stop the tears im tasting couldn't keep my heart from breaking bitter pill ~ so hard to swallow couldn't save me from tomorrow couldn't ease the toll its taking couldn't keep my heart from breaking
  4. there's a lot of stuff I've written in the past I think is worth refining.. I always liked this chorus idea. A friends daughter is an aspiring performer looking for material so there could be a recording with any luck soon! The original was posted 11/8/14 ill post it below.. Verse; I have to say, some things have changed Since you’ve been gone, i don’t belong I have to say, i feel estranged Although i prayed, and i stayed strong While i remain, you’re moving on I have to say, i’m disengaged chorus; Bitter pill so hard to swallow Couldn’t save me from my sorrow Couldn’t fight the fear i’m facing Couldn’t keep my heart from breaking Bitter pill so hard to swallow Couldn’t save me from tomorrow Verse; I have to say, blue skies are grey The days grow old and nights are cold I have to say, in disarray I’m not the same, as i’ve been told And it’s a shame i lost my soul I have to say, i’m not okay Chorus; Bitter pill so hard to swallow Couldn’t save me from my sorrow Couldn’t fight the fear i’m facing Couldn’t keep my heart from breaking Bitter pill so hard to swallow Couldn’t save me from tomorrow Bridge; Without one good reason why Without one last kiss goodbye How am i supposed to feel When the truth becomes a lie Chorus; (repeat)
  5. hi Vara! wow.. that was a visual feast! great rhythm and flow, original, indie feel to it.. I think its kick ass material... love to hear the end result.. Neil
  6. hi Dan, honestly, i think its a great write.. being a 1st its even better. I like the fact its simple. I could suggest some ideas but i think it works as is so i wont. The best lyrics are the ones that come without thinking and are usually from the heart. Lyrics dont have to be anything more than what you want to say. Keep 'em coming! Neil
  7. now im thinking "what it was we had i wasn't sure" for line 2.. in fact ill change it now.. cheers
  8. thanks John!
  9. thanks tz; re. what "it" is, i could put "but i know you shook me to the core.. the line "i liked it" is to me relevant because as crazy and unpredictable even toxic that relationship i loved every minute but a different perspective always helps thanks for your time! neil
  10. ive changed the chorus, and the 3rd & 4th lines are what were originally in the chorus for a while before i posted. I thought "hanging on" was a bit cliche but as far as my last relationship is concerned it sums it up exactly... we've had 3 stints totalling 7 yrs and roller coaster is putting it lightly.. and Tom suggested the last line which really works for me and evens the flow especially for the tune i have in mind.. 1st chorus; When it comes to you - i can’t get enough I don’t think it through - i was out of touch When it comes to you - love can be so rough Everything you do - is a bit too much 2nd; When it comes to you - i can't get enough Nothing i won't do - just to feel your touch When it comes to you - even when you're gone All i ever do - is keep hanging on When it comes to you
  11. mate for a 1st attempt its pretty damn good... the best thing is if u keep writing u will only improve. neil
  12. thanks Peggy - im so flattered!
  13. thanks man.. ill have to pull my finger out (lol)
  14. as always, thanks Tom. ill try that. It might help the chorus flow back into the verse too.. cheers mate!
  15. hey john, i too like what you've done. it may be to do with the melody you intend but i felt, if anything, there's a few "filler" words you could do without... i dont know the genre but it could fit a few i think.. it struck me as hip hop or rap, but it could be rock.. here's a few ideas; Welcome to the human race boy, are you fit to run. A word of warning they start races with a gun. And if you want to win don't try to run too fast, the winner in this race will always come in last. And if you cross the line completely in control, stick to country music, whisky and some rock and roll. this would change ur melody but i think u should keep trimming here and there. good stuff! neil