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Peggy

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Everything posted by Peggy

  1. Welcome to the site!! Peggy
  2. Hi Amadeus, Welcome to Songstuff! Enjoy the community Peggy
  3. The Silent Song.. very cool experience! So beautiful and soulful..awesome performance!! Peggy
  4. Hi and thanks for the read and comments. I like to know how others "hear" the lyric. It started as VVC. Fits pretty good with my melody but checking out your suggestions especially... in the v and c areas. The bridge?? I can't even face that yet.. Peggy
  5. Little things... whether the weather (?) or humidy/ humidity Loose/loosen Just my thoughts here .. verses content I love, everything else too..no real focus right now for me, only verse. My opinion.. chorus is perfect... V1 is really nice!! I based other verses on it kinda. V2 and v3 have a lot of extra space in areas that can be used to make each line really tight and special, emotional, loving. Just an example. V1 L1 - You've taught our son how to labor hard V2 L1 - It may be that our mansion V2 L1 example We build our mansion as the sun goes down Just thinking..because really like this ALOT but can't make it flow for me amoung verses. Peggy
  6. I definitely have old school funk, soul and blues influences.. can't help myself I've worked on this and need to update. Thanks for the listen and comments!! Peggy
  7. Hi, Here's Rhythm Groove 2. Any comments or critiques are welcome, Thanks, hope you enjoy it. Peggy
  8. Very kind! Thanks!! Hoping I could pull it off. Been thinking about this for a bit now. Challenge pushed me you know..i really do think they are opposites ... haha Definitely good advise on placement. I get excited too early sometimes.. change is great and made. Peggy
  9. Hi Philip, Welcome to the site!! Nice to have you join us. Good luck and Enjoy writing those potentials Peggy
  10. I really like this!! The labor and rest are rugged and gentle all throughout. I like each of the verses. Thinking they could be tightened a bit so each verse basically has the same flow and stress. Going to work on a couple suggestions I might have. Peggy
  11. Hi Wheww...finally. opposites?? Any thoughts appreciated. Sorry about "baby" fought with the word..it won Thanks, Peggy Love and Logic Copyright 06/06/2017 Peggy L. Smart-Barnes ------ V 1 ------- Baby, baby, I've got something to say Baby, there's just no other way Kiss me first but no more denying Can't save love when logic's dying ------ C 1 ------- Hot and toxic as you wrap me tight You lead with love and it feels so right But we're not safe if love is driving You and I need to keep trying ------ V 2 ------- Baby, baby, oh you make me dream Baby, then you make me scream With no rules there's no use lying Can't save love when logic's dying ------ C 2 ------- Hot and toxic as you wrap me tight You lead with love and it feels so right But we're not safe if love is driving Oh You and I, you and I You and I need to keep trying --------- B 1 ---------- It's so complicated and I'm on the brink I'm so captivated that I can not think Reason becomes such a challenge But love and logic need to have a balance Love and logic need to have a balance Love and logic need to have a balance ------ V 3 ------- Baby, baby, don't struggle to share Baby, don't struggle to care Loneliness is worth the crying But we can't save love when logic's dying ------ C 3 ------- Hot and toxic as you wrap me tight You lead with love and it feels so right But we're not safe if love is driving Oh You and I, you and I You and I need to keep trying --------- B 2 out --------- It's so complicated and I'm on the brink I'm so captivated that I can not think Reason becomes such a challenge But love and logic need to have a balance Love and logic need to have a balance Love and logic
  12. Hi Verb, Welcome to the site! You have included all the element but that doesn't reflect the brief so it's a bit difficult to critique. Thinking you might want to put this in the Lyric Critique area where you may get more response. Also helpful to critique other works. Enjoy! Peggy
  13. Good stuff going here. I'll check your changes coming up. Glad you joined the challenge with us Peggy
  14. Hi T, Trying to figure where better clarity can occur. PP gave me some good places where "a" story gets lost. So your good idea with chorus is probably the place. Going to run with that. This is what I was trying to project in chorus: If she is without contraint/restraint then there's no constraint/restraint because "singer" has no constraint/restraint either. Thanks so much for read and comments! Peggy
  15. Hi again! Sorry I didn't get back sooner. Fixed the "staring" . "She" finds her flaws in Mirrors framed in gold... plural because it reflects group think. Driven by collective manufactured guilt and assertions ... without regard. The colors were to help support. Thanks again for your thoughts. I Like the "panther waiting to strike". Still looking at this one. Peggy
  16. Hi Pahchisme Plaid, Thanks for the read and the comments! Hard to admit this one, and thought alot about it, thinking "well maybe that still works" but it just didn't. Sooo, "starring" is suppose to be "staring" yikes!! I have company right now but want to get back to this soon. Peggy
  17. I feel lucky and that I have a very large sphere of people in my life...and I stay "in front" of news... But or So or And...I internalize emotion (based on my own reaction) which ends up in my lyric writing. I often write in first person to project the feelings I've had to what moved me in some way. But the emotion, that came about, may be written in whole and raw or in contrast or disbelief, scarcistic, or masked. But how i present the feeling happens as my thoughts go down. Almost always deeply personal......happy-sad-pissed,lost- found, lonely or over-whelmed., initimate or distance, opened or veiled. I try it. And it's real. I might add...sometimes it works sometimes..not so much And I'm a happy peep Peggy
  18. Understand how the lyrics touched me and for reasons that are alot closer than thought. Again beautiful! Peggy
  19. Thoughts and prayers with those in Manchester.:heartpump:

  20. Hi Pahchisme Plaid, Very nice. And reads as such a gentle expression. Thought the first line was setting up for a tongue twister but it all came together beautifully. Peggy
  21. She Provokes Me Copyright 05/21/2017 Peggy L. Smart-Barnes ---------- V 1 ------------- Far from a final provocation She finds her flaws Staring in the mirrors Framed in gold ---------- V 2 ------------- Restrings to a tighter tension She takes her time Renders with a brush Touched in black --------- C 1 ---------- Expect to excite Without constraint There's no constraint And she provokes me Impulse to incite Without restraint There's no restraint And she provokes me ---------- V 3 ------------- Deliberate by brand of distinction She doesn't blink Blowing all a kiss Drawn in red --------- C 2 ---------- Expect to excite Without constraint There's no constraint And she provokes me Impulse to incite Without restraint There's no restraint And she provokes me -------- O 1 ----------- Without restraint There's no restraint And she provokes me She provokes me
  22. Hi Bielka, Welcome! Great place to share your works and check out what others are doing too! Have fun!! Peggy
  23. Hi Plants, Welcome to the boards!! Jump in and have fun! PL
  24. Hi John, Like the change. Not thinking that this was a heart-wrenching spill out. But instead, just a look back, that triggers side emotions. Kinda think most everyone does the replay thing now and again, and thought you nailed that. Nice going. Just my after thoughts. Peggy
  25. Catching A Wave Copyright 04/21/2017 Peggy L. Smart-Barnes --------- V 1 ------- We feel the motion, it's flowing all through Floating up from the deepest of blue Starting ripples, rising to crest We haven't even seen our best ---------- C 1 -------- But you know, it's fluid And it's time to move Coming to the surface, we're catching a wave We don't need a purpose, just catching a wave Ride it on in, ride it on out ---------- V 2 ----------- Stayed underwater but holding our breath Can love emerge out of the depth Forces rushing, power intense It doesn't really make any sense ---------- C 2 --------- But you know, it's fluid And it's time to move Coming to the surface, we're catching a wave We don't need a purpose, just catching a wave Ride it on in, ride it on out -------- B 1 ------- Calm me then push me Love me don't break me Then I won't, no I won't, no I won't drift away from here again --------- C 3 --------- But you know, it's fluid And it's time to move Coming to the surface, we're catching a waveWe don't need a purpose, just catching a waveRide it on in, ride it on out--------- V 3 -------We feel the motion, it's flowing all throughFloating past the deepest of blueGuided ripples, rising to crestWe haven't even seen our best---------- C 4 --------- But you know, it's fluid And it's time to move Coming to the surface, we're catching a waveWe don't need a purpose, just catching a waveRide it on in, ride it on out