Madkol

thank you bro. sorry I took so long to respond to your feedback. I haven't been on this site in months

This is really great bro. if u don't mind, could u checkout some of my shit and let me know what u think. thanks

Try using more assonance in your rhymes than the more obvious sounds

Sorry for not adhering to the guidelines. Next time I will respond to more of other peoples posts, but can u please put my songs back. I worked really hard on those. thanks

Chorus] And I can’t help, but think it’s just another day Nothing’s ever gonna change It’ll always stay the same And I wish I, could somehow find a way To escape all of the pain Sometimes I wanna put a bullet to my brain Whoa, whoa, a bullet to my brain Whoa, whoa, yeah [Verse 1] When I was younger I told my mother I’d have her covered I’d pay the bills that give her chills just thinking about those f*ckers Yeah we were poor as hell, everybody could tell The family motto growing up was ‘Save Yourself’ When there’s nobody there to protect you from the hood I was ten years old ain’t living like I should Pistol cocked in my pocket just to get to school Knife in my belt, no rules, shit was cruel And life was like security, we couldn’t make it through If you had to make money, you got it selling crack And it made you think about how you got to where you’re at Sometimes I’d put a gun to my head and cock it back Every motherf*cking night I would stare into the black And the only thing that ever made it better was rap When I had nothing else, just a pen and a pad Sitting by myself, writing songs about my dad Wondering what happened to him, where the f*ck he was Sitting in a cell by himself because of drugs Wasting away, not giving a f*ck I used to be the victim of the hood, getting pushed around But after seeing everybody shot, you can’t hold me down Everyday sirens and firing is the only sound If you live where I’m from, you don’t f*ck around [Chorus] [Verse 2] I would sit on the edge of my bed, hanging my head Cause I couldn’t do shit when my mother was getting sick I would work hard everyday, to bring home the bread To end the suffering If my mother was here now, I know she’d be loving it I’d buy her a house, maybe two just for the f*ck of it She’d never have to worry, never have to give up again Never have to lose hope, when shit was getting tough again Like when you’re on the streets, just trying to survive And every f*cking day seems like a waste of time You’re f*cked up and you feel like you’re losing your mind And lately the only question you’re asking is why So you go to the one thing you never thought you’d do You f*cking swore to God you’d never put yourself through But now you’re popping pills with a bottle of vodka And realize that you look just like you’re motherf*cking father But you don’t even care cause you’re so drunk and f*cked We got a man down, someone call 9-1-1 Your mind’s racing back and forth Wishing you were never born Wishing that you didn’t have to suffer just cause you were poor You’re looking for a way to escape all of the pain Sometimes you wanna put a f*cking bullet to your brain [Chorus] [Verse 3] Now I laugh in the face of death, knowing I’m blessed And I never have to worry about money again I graduated from the city where everybody’s depressed And I thank God for rap, it took the weight off my chest It helped me get through the worst, now I’m becoming the best I’ll keep powering through, no one can put me to rest Now everything from my past, is everything that I write Everything that I rap, is everything from life Like selling drugs in the hood, trying to stay tough Do whatever it takes without giving a f*ck I used to be bound by these chains on me But now I’m praising The Lord, thank God that I’m free [Chorus]

Yeah the verse isn't quite finished yet

For advice on continuing, I might recommend comparing common aspects of life now (that aren't necessarily good) to how God intended it to be. For example, you could say something about going to prison at a young age because of drugs, and compare that to kids getting an education instead. If you think of if that way and stay generally on that same vein, you'll surprise yourself at how much you can come up with. Hope that helps.

[Verse 1:]Take the 'F' out, and get the true meaning of lifeMama said to survive, you gotta stay toughDon't trip shit, just glideSo I keep a sweatshirt hood over my eyesI see lyrics in my dreams, so I keep it dark insideHaven't seen the light of day, since I learned how to writeTo see beyond human thoughts, take a trip through my mindUnwind, and rewind. Get your hands off, this time it's mineMoney talks and I swear it only tells liesCry wolf, Im'ma make you motherf*ckers whineI ain't judging shit, I'm just bluffing manHalf a million people wouldn't be enough cover my assFor the damage I've done, f*cking with your minds is only half of the funI just go with the flow, 'til I'm outta controlWould I end up part of the crowd? f*ck noCause the sound of footsteps, represents bullshitWipe your feet on the mat, and spell the words 'look back'Everytime you run, it's in stride with prideOf the people that are saying that the people never dieCause vanity is taking precedence over timeBut God's coming back with a fire in His eyes

Great poetic flow. Its easy to read and I don't have to struggle to try to figure out how it should be. Well Done!!

Damn bro, you gotta publish these songs so I can hear that on the radio. Shit's badass!!