Levi

Sticking Around
  • Content count

    27
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

6 Neutral

About Levi

  • Rank
    Sticky Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    United States of America

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration

Music Background

  • Musical Influences
    Merle Haggard, Waylon Jennings, Alan Jackson, Toby Keith, Lynyrd Skynyrd, Eagles, Alabama

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    Detailed
    Any and All
    Give It To Me Both Barrels

Recent Profile Visitors

214 profile views
  1. Love the chorus. I think it is fantastic. I also really like the 3rd verse. I think it really moves the song along. The first verse seemed a little cliche to me. I think it could be stronger. But really, from the first chorus to the end, just a great, great write.
  2. Hold may be the best word. Thanks!
  3. I definitely agree. I toyed with the idea of using love in that spot, but I was concerned that it didn't convey the exact meaning I wanted. Also concerned that I would be using that word too much. Any thoughts on that? Or another word that we could replace?
  4. Please pop right in with thoughts and critiques! Have an up tempo melody pretty much worked out. (Chorus) No one can love you quite like I do. Why you're looking around's a mystery. There are plenty of guys that will bed you. But they can't do it quite like me. (V1) Girl, I've taken note of those wandering eyes. Those baby blues that can hypnotize. They're getting snagged by other cowboys. Hear me through all that visual noise. (Chorus) No one can love you quite like I do. Why you're looking around's a mystery. There are plenty of guys that will bed you. But they can't do it quite like me. (V2) Babe, I know my body is not in it's prime. But when you need the goods I put in the time. Other hot rod bodies will put on a show. Mine always gets you where you want to go! (Chorus) No one can love you quite like I do. Why you're looking around's a mystery. There are plenty of guys that will bed you. But they can't do it quite like me. (V3) We should take our leave now from this bar. Your wandering eyes drifted a little too far. Before your eyes convince your body to roam, Let me remind you of what you have at home. (Chorus) Let me lay you down like I do. What I got's no mystery. Let me take you home and bed you. And let you have the best piece of me. (Chorus) No one can love you quite like I do. Why you're looking around's a mystery. There are plenty of guys that will bed you. But they can't do it quite like me.
  5. I felt like I needed a dictionary to read through this. So many big words... I still don't know what the first word means.
  6. christian

    I really like it. The prechorus surprised me and it took me a minute to realize that the song is being told from the POV of God. I like the lyrics- I like the "put your sword away. I know the ending before you even begin." I got a vision in my mind of Gethsemane and Jesus telling Peter to put away his sword after he already lopped off a Roman ear! Very good! What may be missing is the turning point for the subject from being saved and turning from sin- verse 2. The subject is broken again in verse 1. It seems like the chronological order is off for me. And it's missing that turning point from that new Christian with a thirst for Christ to now a broken Christian. I might have confused myself. Did that make sense?
  7. It's a pretty common metaphor where I'm from. The debate is always about what constitutes first base, second base, and third. But the baseball analogy is a mainstay!
  8. It most definitely is! Or....getting to third base, not quite a score. Lol
  9. Hey guys! Been away for a bit with hhe start of school. Being I'm education, I have to choose my spots. Anyway, always wanting to get thoughts, critiques, and so on! (Chorus) I just hit a triple with a stranger. I rounded those bases like I played for the Texas rangers. I struck out three times in my first three at bats. Now I'm standing on third. Watch'a think about that? I just hit a triple with a stranger. (V1) My major league denim uniform makes me an all-star. My favorite place to take my swings is here at this bar. I don't feel bad at all about not scoring at home. Standing on third's better than being alone. 'Cause I just hit a triple with a stranger. (Chorus) I just hit a triple with a stranger. I rounded those bases like I played for the Texas rangers. I struck out three times in my first three at bats. Now I'm standing on third. Watch'a think about that? I just hit a triple with a stranger. (V2) It's all about your approach at the plate. You can't expect too much if your game is second rate. Can't hang up the cleats after a swing and a miss. Gotta keep swinging the bat to get more than a kiss. And I just hit a triple with a stranger. (Chorus) I just hit a triple with a stranger. I rounded those bases like I played for the Texas Rangers. I struck out three times in my first three at bats. Now I'm standing on third. Watch'a think about that? I just hit a triple with a stranger. Repeat chorus
  10. I would go with "ever since I saw her..." That means that you are referring to a single point in time where you saw her, but since that moment in time, you've found where you belong.
  11. Wow! I read it totally different. I got a slow, smokey country feel. I had a slow, melodic sound...heard a raspy Tanya Tucker voice and everything. Hard for me to picture with a faster tempo because I already sold myself on the slow, thoughtful melody. I would really tinker with different tempos and melody, and give a slow, country vibe a long look. I would also agree with Nightwolf. I want that 4th line of the chorus to rhyme with night based on the natural rhythm that my mind put into it. I don't know that I like just adding the word "tonight" on the end, but I definitely do find myself wanting that line to rhyme. Really like this one!
  12. Thanks again guys! Buck, I can make that or some derivative work!great idea.
  13. I do have a little melody/rhythm in mind. It is pretty quick. Thanks for the encouragement! KaGy, I haven't recorded it. I'm not proficient enough with an instrument to really do that.
  14. I like it. I agree that the chorus needs more. Maybe just adding on to what you have. Add more after the "last love I'll ever find." I'm going along in my head to that point. Digging it. Then the chorus comes to an abrupt stop. But, great job bringing in whiskey lullaby. One of the best country songs of the 2000's in my opinion.