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Fern carle

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About Fern carle

  • Rank
    Experienced Member
  • Birthday 03/16/1957

Profile Information

  • Gender
  • Location
    United States of America
  • Interests
    Boating, live music, plays, reading, and writing writing writing

Contact Methods

  • Yahoo

Music Background

  • Band / Artist Name
    Fern çarle
  • Musical / Songwriting / Music Biz Skills
  • Musical Influences
    Eagles, bruno mars, aerosmith,lifehouse, the script, boyce avenue, daughtyy and various others no rap or opera


  • Songwriting Collaboration

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique

Recent Profile Visitors

767 profile views
  1. if music had wings

    verse the simple things in life are a mystery way they fire me up inspire me to lose myself in rhythm and rhyme lay down feelings on melody lines chorus if music had wings my spirit would fly hitch a ride on the strings of this old guitar i'd climb rainbows to capture my dreams i'd rise like a star if music had wings verse scaling the universe strumming past the past my heart would know peace know freedom at last suspended in space time would cease to exist the future would unfold at my fingertips chorus verse i'd drift on a cloud with a birds eye view singing my heart out playing ass kicking tunes i'd get into it like you wouldn't believe lick reality with tricks up my sleeve
  2. Gonna get better

    Seeking collaborator for "gonna get better" on the lyric critique members only board.
  3. I've Lost My Mojo

    I enjoyed the song
  4. deeper

    For the chorus, i sort of like the word slide instead of creep. On the second verse instead of when you shift gears chug a lug slow motion When you shift gears and love me slow motion
  5. summerbreeze

    Tom I liked through lyric very much. Didn't sound like a rough draft to me
  6. The Wake-Up Call !

    Sorry but i didn't understand the whole meaning of the words. Please explain.
  7. The Wake-Up Call !

    I dont understand what you're trying to say.
  8. dreams are all i've got

    cruising along the highway of life reality cut like a knife spinning my wheels miles on end searching for the rainbows bend I'm going to get there give it my best shot dreams keep me going dreams are all I've got clutching my fantasies tight mountains of hope rolled into sight hugging the shoulder of fear upward climbing I shifted gears pedal to the metal my mind raced as I smoked with turbo charged desire I was going for broke roadblocks and detours tried to stop me in my tracks veering towards my dreams I never looked back tired I was wired driving all night jonsing on my dreams I saw destinies light cruising towards the sunrise of my dreams in the direction of my heart I'm searching for my pot of gold for the rainbows bend where dreams unfold
  9. sexy

    shadow dancing watching you move snagged by the rhythm of the funk in your groove dripping from the heat of the beat desire rages as sparks fly from your feet from the distance you're breaking down my resistance firing me up pulling me under your spell from the distance you're breaking down my resistance making me melt like butter hotter than hell sexy you look so sexy just like a greek god getting down dirty with your heavenly bod sexy you look so sexy muscle bound and lean you look just like a sex machine getting off on the beat fantasies flying watching you dance my eyes are unzipping your painted on pants bumping and grinding your ass looks so fine baby sweet baby you're blowing my mind
  10. officer delaney

    strolling down the street I was walking on the beat that was walked on with authority by officer delaney every day from 6 to 2 p.m. he flapped his soles upon the coals feasting on the aroma from the local deli swallowing the urge to feed his belly officer Delaney walked the beat alone no yolk he was an empty shell gorging to eat his way out of hell he stopped for brunch and later lunch to fuel his bulging mass and when he walked through alleys he sifted through the trash officer Delaney walked the beat from 6 to 2 p.m. a predator wondering what he was living for he stopped in for an afternoon snack cracking as he split he really went bananas nuts was more the word ice screaming in the pitch of dark numb from chilling fear officer Delaney walked the beat from 6 to 2 p.m. huddled in the corner of his mind as he lined up the trigger that blasted his past fast never to know the wonder of key lime
  11. a shining star

    staring up towards a blanket of clouds i was mesmerized they slowly parted just like the red sea splashing the eye of the sky with a blinking neon message that helped set my heart free "you can be a shining star if you choose or a meteor if you choose to lose it lose the pain you've got so much to gain to give if you give yourself permission to live permission to set yourself free from the bondage of misery that shackles you behind depressions door locked tight air fright into a life that's a chore never enough always craving more aching fir love to fill up your core peeled and diced sliced so many times before flagging esteem mopped the floor as anger steered in the direction of static fear no longer fear no more true happiness lives in the depths of your core" teary eyed the sky sighed "forgive yourself for you've committed no sin running circles in depressions race soul worn thin your destinations grim there's no chance for you to win by giving up before you try life passes by dreams wither and die be kind to yourself give yourself a break you possess all the tools you need to weed past the past all the tools to sprout radiant confident without nagging doubt free to be the person God created you to be free to be exactly who you are free to be a shining star"
  12. the notion of devotion

    What lyric are you talking about?
  13. the notion of devotion

    when you slammed loves door said goodbye i thought the carousel of love had passed me on by living on my own i didn't think that i'd survive it swallowing the truth i fought to deny it weighed down by a mountain of fear it took months before the fog began to clear as time passed by i came to the conclusion love i thought was tried and true was just an illusion i was in love with the fantasy of love in love with the notion of devotion since we severed the ties realities opened my eyes i was in love with the notion of devotion i tried to change you turn you into a man all you did was ignore me sit on your can walking on eggshells nothing i did was ever right all we did was argue nit pick and fight what i ever saw in you remains to be seen loving you was a nightmare that destroyed all my dreams the day you walked out on me you set my heart free you were the cause of all my misery
  14. love at first sight

    Thanks for the feedbacķ. I've already ordered a book on lyrics. . Before when you told me to get a rhyming dictiònary i was offended. Now i can see the merit in having one. The problem that i have is that i can't hear a melody in my head, i can't hear musiç. Right off the bat thats one strike against me. One more thing. You said i should get a list of adjetives and adverbs. Where would i find such a list? Once again thanks for the feedback. fern
  15. love at first sight

    Thanks for the feedback david. I see your point. The way its written it reads more like a poem. I'm trying to make the transition from poet to lyricist and its a bitch. So far i've bombed with 4 lyric attempts. I bought a book on lyric writing and have my work cut out for me. Once again your feedback is appreciated. Fern