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Philjo

Sticking Around
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Philjo last won the day on June 18

Philjo had the most liked content!

Community Reputation

17 Good

About Philjo

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    Wales (UK)

Music Background

  • Musical / Songwriting / Music Biz Skills
    Lyricist

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested
  1. Hope you are better soon. The way I read that line it sounds like her tears were hidden in which case he wouldn't know about them. Then again, if he knows about them, as it suggests, they are not secret and therefore there's no need to mention the fact that he does. However, the most likely scenario is that I've misinterpreted the whole thing ☺
  2. I liked this one. I'm thinking it's about a guy being cheated on and getting his revenge by gunning down his love rival - but I could be wrong! Thought the first line of the bridge could be - the shot, a scream, some bullets rip - or something to get a rhyme.
  3. I think you've done a nice job within the limits you set. It makes sense and conveys a story. I wondered if there was a comma missing from the middle of the line 'i've caught the tears I know you've cried'.
  4. I liked it. It fits the bill. Thought you might try 'slam your door' to cut out one of the 'shuts'. At first I thought the heroin reference didn't sound right - but then I thought it did!
  5. Hi, I don't sing or play so it will remain a document in a folder for the time being ☺ Phil.
  6. This is a good write - and read. The two opening lines put you right 'in there' from the start and it stays with the theme. I thought the 'to ease your lonely pain' line could be changed to 'my' or 'the' lonely pain. And the 'that are now ball chained' line could become 'like my brain's ball and chained' or 'like a cold ball and chain' - drop the 'ed'. Or something similar. Nice one, Phil.
  7. Hi Tom, John and Ray, Thanks for the comments. I think might revisit the 'adulation' line. I'm toying with ending in 'welcome' or 'ovation' - at least that would trim it down a syllable or two! Think I was too focused on rhyming it with the third line and maybe no rhyme would give more options Cheers, Phil.
  8. Thanks John, There are a few cliches and stereotypes in there but what can you do! Cheers, Phil.
  9. Ah I missed that. I went straight to the top and dived in! Yes it sounds good and the lyric has developed giving a more rounded story.
  10. I read your initial post and thought some of the verses and lines could be rearranged and one verse dropped as it said some of what had already been said. Doing that may make the story clearer. So here is my suggestion: You know I love you like a daughter Thanks to God I’ve earned your trust Now you’re asking me for counsel Find yourself where I once was There’s this secret I’ve been hiding Let’s just say a brief affair I learned a very bitter lesson Listen up hey I’ve been there (Chorus) Girl don’t do it Find another way You'll live with this forever Think beyond today My confession is unnerving Open scars still pose a threat But I fear the road your treading Means a lifetime of regret I can see you’re sorely tempted Honey use a little sense You can’t hide that guilty feeling You're the living evidence (Chorus) Girl don’t do it Find another way You'll live with this forever Think beyond today Here’s the fundamental question Are you a lover or a wife? You don't want to be a woman Caught up in a double life (Chorus) Girl, don’t do it Find another way You'll live with this forever Think beyond today Hopefully there is something of use there. If not, feel free to ignore ☺ Phil.
  11. Hi, Thanks for reading. Italy does look like a boot so it had to be done! Cheers, Phil.
  12. Big Old Cowboy Boot: My sexy signorina From the sultry streets of Rome Said she loved my Country music They don't get it back at home So we came to the decision That my band should take a tour Go show what they'd been missing And we couldn’t have asked for more (Ch) We got tons of adulation Man it really was a hoot Now Italians think of their nation As a big old cowboy boot We played Honky Tonk and Bluegrass From Milan down to the heel Gave 'em slide guitar and banjos With a missionary zeal Now every gondolier Wants a rhinestone studded pole And those scooter kids in Naples Think that Redneck's a la mode (Ch) We got tons of adulation Man it really was a hoot Now Italians think of their nation As a big old cowboy boot They still love their pasta With a slice of pizza pie But now they ask their mamas Can they have it Cajun style (Ch) We got tons of adulation Man it really was a hoot Now Italians think of their nation As a big old cowboy boot © P. Jones.
  13. With my (limited) knowledge of Blues it would go something like: Step out on the highway Wonder if I'll ever get home Step out on the highway Wonder if I'll ever get home I've done alot of walking And my mouth is drier than a bone But then if they were all like that they would all sound the same!. Although there is more 'catchiness' in that format.
  14. Another thumbs up. Nice fun write. I read Keith Richards autobiography recently and that's a fun journey too! I thought maybe 'watch the snowflakes falling down' for the final line. Unless you didn't want it to rhyme.
  15. I got a good vibe from this even though I'll admit I don't fully understand its meaning. Its nicely written. There were two lines that seemed like a contradiction: Oh the night lives insides us All the light stays inside us I thought maybe the night should be outside rather than inside. But that could just be me misreading the context.