SuperMarioGamer

I am a narcissist sociopath whose only desire is to be happy, have a wonderful life, have no misery in my life, and to get what I want. Recognition for my music is what I want and is what I am aiming for. I have no desire to help others, live for others, make the world a better place, etc.

I already have made art (music) in my mind that is really good to me and that is why I pursued composing in the first place so that this music in my mind can get recognized by others. It is my only reason for taking up composing in the first place just like that situation I described with the painter. The only way I can make great music is if my heart condition allows me to become a professional composer who has learned everything there needed to be learned to get my music out there just as how I hear it in my mind. So I am in the process of wanting to become a professional composer and I hope that my heart condition allows for that, otherwise everything I worked for would all be a waste to me as long as these awesome songs in my mind cannot get recognition.

I don't plan on singing. I just plan to make my music in computer music software such as FL Studio or other more advanced musical software. I am learning how to compose as of now. But in my free time when I am taking a break from learning, I will post here if something important comes to my mind. What would you say to a painter in this situation I am going to describe below? He is just like me since his reason for painting is my same reason for pursuing composing: "I am very inspired to create beautiful and magnificent landscapes in my mind. There is absolutely no way I want such innovative and unique landscapes to go unrecognized by my friends, family, and people all over online. Therefore, I need some means of accurately recreating these landscapes I envision in my mind. So I will take up painting even though I have no passion for painting. I will cultivate the necessary years of knowledge and skill needed to become a professional painter so that I can finally get those landscapes in my mind out into the world just as how I envisioned them. Actually, I now have a passion for painting, but only because of this goal I wish to achieve. If this goal of having my envisioned landscapes recognized by many people was somehow unattainable due to some fatal disease or illness, then I would give up painting right then and there and I would no longer have anymore passion for it. Painting would mean absolutely nothing to me now. The only thing that gives my painting meaning and the only thing that drives my passion to learn how to paint and to pursue it would be this attainable goal. I sure hope I manage to attain this goal despite my heart problem. Otherwise, everything I did and learned would all go to waste." So what would you say to such a painter and what would you think of him/her? The reason why I ask this is because I am curious as to what you think about my passion for becoming a composer.

But then again, Stephen Hawking had a serious life threatening condition; but that did not stop him from trying to achieve what he wanted. I have this life to live, so what am I going to do with it? Well, I might as well pursue composing in the hopes that one day I will be able to share my music to others and my family just as how I envisioned those songs to be in my mind. I just hope that I achieve my goal of having my music recognized by others since that is my only reason for taking up composing in the first place. I am glad that I do not know if or when my heart condition will kill me off. If I were told by my doctor that I only had 1 month to live, then I would not even bother with composing since there would be no way I would be able to achieve my goal of wanting to become a professional composer in order to get the music I hear out of my mind and for it to be recognized by others, youtube, soundcloud, etc. The music I hear in my mind is such awesome and bizarre music that there is absolutely no way I would want such music to go to waste and go unrecognized.

I know nothing about composing, but plan on learning lessons on youtube. I am very serious and am willing to put in the effort of many years to become a professional composer. But recognition for my music is my only reason for pursuing composing. All my effort would just be wasted if I can't get my awesome music recognized and featured on youtube, soundcloud, etc. I have a heart condition that could kill me before I get the chance to attain my goal. If I can't attain my goal, then I would not even bother with composing at all. So should I even bother with composing then if this is my only reason for doing it? I don't think it is an idiotic attitude at all. It's no different than how a body builder wishes to attain the goal of being in the magnificent muscular body of his dreams. Otherwise, if he had some sort of condition that somehow prevented him from building muscle, then he would not even bother body building. He would not even bother lifting weights just to lift them and the whole process of lifting weights would now be meaningless to him since he cannot achieve the goal he wanted. Some people would lift those weights anyway. But I know that I wouldn't. So in that same sense, I would not compose just to compose. My reason for composing is to attain that goal of having my music featured and recognized on youtube, soundcloud, etc. You can pay to have your music and videos promoted. Lastly, I have created awesome and strange unique music in my mind that I don't want to go to waste. But the only way for that music to get recognized would be to become a professional composer because that is the only way I can reproduce the music just as I hear it in my mind. I plan on then getting that music promoted on youtube where it can get recognized by many viewers. I do not plan on just getting recognized. It is the music I hear in my mind that I want recognized.