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Sreyashi Mukherjee

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Everything posted by Sreyashi Mukherjee

  1. Hi Max, A few suggestions highlighted in blue : Verse 1 Call me, please call me, haul me out of the jail I'm in I'm so tired, tired of watching time, while darkness grows within Play me, like I have no name, frame me with your game Lie to me, lie but stay with me, you know, I'll never complain Refrain 1 I try again... to get to you but you're starting to play, you're starting to play And though there was only one who won in this game I'll play all the same I try again... thoughts are flying with no sign of regret with no reason to stay Want them to break free and get out and not care if you're still around Verse 2 Days stretching, days getting longer, I'm longing to catch sight of you The feeling like storm grows stronger, its wrong and it's past due Bridge Out of my mind! Truth or lie? I have no clue. Are you on my side or am I left behind? It's so uncertain. And I can't get close to you Refrain 2 I try again... to get to you but you're starting to play, yeah you're starting to play I know there was only one who won in this game but I'll play all the same I try again... thoughts are flying with no sign of regret with no reason to stay Hoping to find a firm ground. Will I be lost or found? Ending Call me, I want you to call, my spirit burns, it needs to know I'm tired of being tired, I'm tired of sitting here and just watching time Forever seasons change but I never say never I don't want to know the score, I wanna be your game just once more It was painful to read this, honestly, as I don't like dark lyrics. But as a songwriter, you seem to have etched out the character's dilemma and helplessness pretty well. Kudos!
  2. Sure, I'm always open to options! I'll keep an eye out for anything that I can imagine contributing constructively to. You can nudge me, too
  3. I kind of like the verses as they are... sounding subtle but smooth against the New Age-y vibe. It might not sound interesting as a stand-alone piece but it seems to be doing very good teamwork with the music arrangement... just my thoughts If you're still looking, I can send you a clip of me doing the singalong for the chorus. Do you prefer a full voice or falsetto for that?
  4. A few additional things that I learnt from my teacher (though it was a short-lived training session and she had to return to Germany abruptly): 1) A trained singer ALWAYS sings from the gut. Even if it's a head voice or a chest voice, the source is the gut... but the power and the texture of the sound produced changes. 2) While practicing, produce the vowel sounds clearly. That would mean opening one's mouth more. The head remains straight but only the jaw moves. Carrying this technique to regular singing also creates a big difference. This is one half of creating an effortless sound. 3) The other half of it depends on the placement of the tongue. If it's suspended "mid air" while singing, then there is an obstruction to the sound that is being produced... which is more noticeable when we go for the high notes. The voice starts to strain and the throat gets sore. However, by keeping the tongue rested gently behind the few front teeth of our lower jaw, we can again create an easy passage for the sound to flow. 4) If at any time the throat feels sore or croaky, apart from giving it rest, it is best not to clear it - this creates more friction and hence further throat irritation. Rather, one can give out small, light coughs.
  5. Okay.. so when I heard it the first time, I didn't get it till I reached almost the end of the clip. So, I played it again... and this time I got it. It's tricky, yes, but it can work. The choice of chords for the chorus is relatively a lot better blended than what is happening with the verses. But I can picture tweaking just a few notes in the vocals at the verse sections, which can help in creating a smoother blend. I hope you're planning to keep a longer intro before the vocals start; it can build up some tension. Will look forward to the bridge. I guess once you have the song fully structured and are comfortable with the notes and phrasing, we'll hear a more confident vocal delivery. Also, currently your voice is too forward... but maybe this is just a rough draft. Like we agreed the other day, this song is challenging but also holds a lot of promise. Looking forward to you rising up to it splendidly
  6. Wow... that's a world of a change! And I guess the tweaks that brought about this were minimal. I'm definitely listening to you singing now and as I soak up the rich musical arrangement, I also take notice of how obscure your lyrics are (yup.. that much of a change)... the trance is working well Another thing that I notice is that out of the many percussion sounds you've used, the tabla has been kept to the left. It has a sharper timbre than the others so along with the now less-than-icy-and-better-sounding synth, there seems to be a little more stress on the left side (especially when the vocals are not running). Wonder if you hear the same thing...
  7. Hello, T-hugger. I like singing, too I think it's probably better if you post a link to your singing voice here, so that we can try suggesting something. It's difficult to describe every aspect of one's voice with words... so might as well go to the source? You would, however, need to keep in mind that suggestions - even the most well-intended and helpful ones - are just a small part of one's effort to discover themselves. That's a lifelong process Sreyashi/Sumi
  8. Hi Steve, I, too, feel that this is has the potential to become a song. In fact, all of your poems do.. considering that they centre on the popular theme of heartbreak. Also, since you use almost perfect rhyming sequences in all your poems, it will be easier to convert them to songs. If you are not sure about how to do that you can observe others who post their lyrics in the "lyrics critique" board. Or maybe even post your altered poems there for feedback. There are a few grammatical issues that you might need to look into. For example, it's not "shined" but "shone". But keep following what your heart wants to do... it usually leads us down the right path
  9. Hi TT, Actually there is plenty of participation here.. but what I have noticed is that there aren't many visitors to the "Poets Corner" section. Just like there's less traffic in the "Covers" section. It's just that some sections are of greater interest than others. If you have only stayed in the poems section so far, I would suggest that you interact in the other boards because it gives a greater chance for others to know you (and vice-versa). For instance, if you like writing poems, maybe you're also interested in song writing? Lyrics section for you, then. Etc etc. Once the familiarity sets in among the other members, they will be more inclined to take a peek at your work even in lesser-visited boards. I was very new here just a few months ago but have stuck around to observe others and interact with them.. which has and is still contributing to my learning in a big way. I still have few views and comments to my poems but that's not stopping me from from picking up some tips from other people's work. Just give it a little time and focus on your learning which this site has plenty to provide. Meanwhile, I'll go and check out your poems Sreyashi/Sumi
  10. Oh... this sounds very interesting! Psychedelic, to say the least. The transition from verse to chorus sounds huge but it's too early to say whether that's good or bad. Looking at the words, I'm very curious to see how you mesh these two together. A fun and interesting challenge!
  11. I like the chorus.. though musically, it sounds more happy-happy to me than melancholic. I wasn't so sure about the verses. Then again, it could be because of the 1 2 1 2 pattern which starts off right from the beginning. It's like the song is already out on a march but the verses are trying to play catch-up (apologies for the terrible attempt at giving a comparable example ) Apart from this, it's too early to give a full feedback as the song is yet to be fully constructed. But it's going in an interesting direction...
  12. Hi Will, To me you seem to have achieved what you set out to do in terms of blending the different musical styles. I agree with Richard regarding the vocoder bit.. but of course these are personal tastes. My only real feedback is that compared to your other songs, your vocals sound subdued and that overall, the song lacks energy. Some variety is also desired. I'd assume that you're aware enough to take the necessary steps
  13. Oh.. very rich sound, you've got going.. to the extent that I'm paying more attention to everything else more than your singing . Currently, it feels to me that the music arrangement is the primary focus and the singing is more of a filler. Your different sounding voice is blending nicely but is not taking control of the song. But that could in itself could be the music format, if that is what you wanted to achieve. I guess I prefer the more "traditional" format P.S. : I agree with Jenn regarding the "icy synth". It's not particularly "icy" all the way but there's a particular section where it tends to veer towards pitchy-ness... and again all my attention goes there, waiting for the rebound.
  14. For those of you who have been doing this for years, what would be a good beginner-level DAW from your experience?
  15. I really liked this. Moptop's voice is so soothing and blends really well with the music. To me, it kind of sounded like a father giving some well-meaning advice to his daughter... though the usage of "girl" doesn't fit this equation... so, yes... there's a little confusion regarding the role played by the preacher. The music is a little same-y throughout, but I still liked it being soft... again imagining a close father-daughter moment. I can't particularly imagine using huge dynamics in the song. Still, one can add more harmonies to bring in a little more colour. Also, the sound of the beat could have a slightly different texture... it sounds too simple.
  16. Very slick!
  17. Live shows can only get better and better with practice. I liked this, too... it's pretty cool! Actually, it reminded me a lot of Evanescence and their style of going soft-hard with the music... only here you made it slow-fast, too... so even more interesting Good luck with your upcoming gigs!
  18. Hi there... catchy song and good singing! I agree with what's been commented and recommended by others. This is a current tune and the type of song that one can picture being played on radio or streamed online(exciting stuff!). So the few things that could potentially take this song to that level are: 1) Richer sounding verses (your low notes will sound great and really stand out) 2) Bigger sounding chorus (that could get everyone standing and grooving) 3) Bringing that swag to your diction in songs like these (many hip hop artists pay special attention to this) because that's what will make this wordy song really pop (pun both intended and unintended )
  19. pop

    I do like this and considering the lyrical context, find the choice of chords and even the pace of the song fitting. Especially the song pace and the way it has been sung.... there's an element of being dragged... like the protagonist is just trudging along, lost and somewhat out of touch with everything. So, it was good role-playing, in my opinion I just felt that compared with the tone set for most of the song, the chorus of "falling down" sounded a bit off. Maybe the auto-tune was a bit much and considering that the character was actually "losing it", I would have probably like some free-wheeling here instead of a feeling of "getting corrected". Darn subjectively
  20. I haven't opened any of the links because I'm trying not to cheat (Actually those links should have been provided later, if this was a quizz... the moral ethics of the human species is questionable). I could only guess the answer for the "Singapore" song, which should be "Dream a little dream". Guess I failed the test miserably.
  21. @snabbu I was really blown away by your comments, which had me googling almost every second word you wrote, to try to understand their technicality better (yeah... I'm that big a noob ) Really appreciate it. I'm not sure if I still completely understand strong and weak bar phrasing. However, I do sense that my lyric phrasing will not be uniform; and in some cases I'm choosing complex rhythms with the beat. To give you an idea, I'm illustrating my phrasing with a few of these sentences: Verse Structure 1,2,3 4 1,2,3 3.5 4 4.5 1,2,3 4 1 (2,3,4) You said we would till the end have us to believe in Chorus Structure 1.5 2 2.5 3 4 1 2 3(4) How I’d dreamed of us together together together 1.5 2 2.5 3 4 4.5 1 (2,3,4) Turns out I couldn't be more wrong Bridge Structure 1 2 2.5 3 4 I saw it coming from miles away Last Line of Bridge 1.5 2 3,4 1.5 2 3,4 (1,2,3,4) My beacon disappearing like embers dying I hope this can give the unstable feeling that the song needs.
  22. So, I was going through a piece of music for which I was working on a vocal melody. In the process, the lyrics got formed and I would really appreciate your feedback on the same. As a background reference, the music has a dark feel to it - that dominated the mood of the lyrics. Thanks in advance. Couldn't Be More Wrong V1: You said we would till the end have us to believe in You had me standing on the ledge with a rose as a beaconC : How I’d dreamed of us together Turns out I couldn't be more wrong Played us out in mind forever Turns out I couldn't be more wrongV 2 : Into a sea of an endless bliss I felt myself reeling Into a scheme laid out for me I fell deeperC : How I’d dreamed of us together Turns out I couldn't be more wrong Played us out in mind forever Turns out I couldn't be more wrongB : I wouldn't care about you coming back from the dead, upstream Funny how in a distant memory all I could do was dreamPre-Chorus :How I’d dreamed of us together (Dreams I'd see come true)Played us out in mind forever(You wouldn't know, would you?)Turns out I couldn't be more wrongC : How I’d dreamed of us together Turns out I couldn't be more wrong Played us out in mind forever Turns out I couldn't be more wrong
  23. @MikeRobinson I guess I didn't believe as much in my storytelling, as much as you did... so thanks for doing that Based on the storytelling pattern you were suggesting, I worked on the bridge but pretty much kept everything else the same because I didn't want the song to get much longer. As you can see, I've removed the zombies and trolls and kept the focus on our "heroine" which has resulted in the song in getting even sadder (and that makes me feel somewhat uncomfortable). But I feel it's a more natural flow leading to the state that she now is in, which can ultimately lead to an upswing in her next phase of adventure. In any case, the beat of the song is mid-tempo... so that can probably help in balancing out the ultra-heavy feel of the lyrics.
  24. Wow people.. great tips and thanks for the encouraging comments. I tried to use your ideas to the best of my currently limited abilities, resulting in a little tweak. Here are the new lyrics, once again.. Couldn't Be More Wrong (Revised) V1: You said we would till the end have us to believe in You had me standing on the ledge with a rose as a beacon C : How I’d dreamed of us together Turns out I couldn't be more wrong Played us out in mind forever Turns out I couldn't be more wrong V 2 : Into a sea of endless bliss I felt myself reeling Into a scheme laid out for me I fell deeper C : How I’d dreamed of us together Turns out I couldn't be more wrong Played us out in mind forever Turns out I couldn't be more wrong B : I saw it coming from miles away But turned a blind eye to the day The waves would all come crashing in My beacon disappearing like embers dying Pre-Chorus : How I’d dreamed of us together (Dreams I'd see come true) Played us out in mind forever (You wouldn't know, would you?) Turns out I couldn't be more wrong C : How I’d dreamed of us together Turns out I couldn't be more wrong Played us out in mind forever Turns out I couldn't be more wrong Note : The chorus hook lines of "How I’d dreamed of us together" and "Played us out in mind forever" have "together" and "forever" played out as (together X 3) and (forever X 3). This was there even in the first draft but I had forgotten to mention it.
  25. With a shimmering splendor, she shines on The ocean lights up, the sands cool down Their grains tickled and folded along Being a silent witness To the lovers’ embrace She smiles and blesses them She’d rather be nowhere else But of course she has History’s scars on her, intense Yet from afar she radiates beauty It has helped to keep that distance And so she chooses To listen to the rippling echo To trace the baby turtle’s footprints To dance with the lovers’ shadows They may not notice her But she’d rather be nowhere else