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boombastic

Noob
  • Content count

    19
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

11 Neutral

1 Follower

About boombastic

  • Rank
    Noob
  • Birthday 08/31/1995

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    United States of America
  • Interests
    Rapping, painting, digital media, drawing

Music Background

  • Band / Artist Name
    mixmasterdre

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    Give It To Me Both Barrels
  1. 6x8

    When you have a message you lead yourself by and a goal you aim for that's above your abilities, you become unstoppable. Another great track my dude!
  2. Awesome job man! The production is great, your flow hits different keys and your story is inspiring and understandable. Mic presence is there too. The hook is well thought out and the girl sang her part beautifully. If I had any constructive criticism i'd probably take up a whole page explaining one thing, but I don't see anything wrong with this man. Written with love. Good luck and keep it up boss.
  3. Your presentation is sick, vocals are awesome, and the beat's ill. I'm not sure if you're down for it, but the second half of the song could be you switching to a raw form of rap. Where you just spit, no auto-tunes and speak on something that's real with you. Either that or collaborate with a gritty dude, I think it'd really match your style. Beautiful work and your microphone is fine in my opinion. Keep working and don't be discouraged there's alot of people out there that'd bump this track man.
  4. Sick! Dude you worked on your structure, it's really nice now. You kept the flow up nicely and your transitions are mostly clean. Chorus was sick too! Your flow may be different than mine reading it, but I rapped your shit out loud over this beat, and it came out nice, especially your chorus. If I'm being picky there were some words you left out in the cold within your transitions that kind of put the flow to a stop for a second. You came back and destroyed it though. Here's what I'm talkin' bout Shut up and listen to my order is a good example of this. You could almost remove this line completely from the rap and you'll see a cleaner transition. If you feel like it's important to the story you're trying to tell I would keep it, and try to modify it. Then look through your rhymes one more time and see if there's anything else similar to this. I agree with anonymous9, but I also understand trying to move the story forward while keeping it in rhythm. It's really difficult. Compared to your other works, though, holy shit dog! Keep it up. You got single and double synonyms down, now I want you to try larger multi's. I spit Ar*se*nic so hot that I could burn down Arsenio hall Melt the glaciers that broke the titanic's hull I'm so fu*ri*ous that I make crowds delirious seeing me drop these bombs is like inhaling napalm Once you've improved your skills in rhyming and matching it to a flow, you can focus on your story-telling abilities. When you feel comfortable with just rhyming, try and make your message as clear as possible in your first draft (long ass bars if you have too), then come back and look at it later and try to see if you can refine those sentences. This is where large words come in handy! Not to make you sound smart, but to get your message across more cleanly. I'm not sure if you like to write in silence, but check out these instrumentals and see if you like writing to them Here's nas on explaining his thoughts and intentions behind his rhymes here's eminems & ice-t's reasons Good luck man, keep grindin' you're improving!
  5. I grasped the flow of the instrumental almost immediately. Definitely a great freestyle beat man, keep it up!
  6. Thanks ken I really appreciate the feedback!
  7. As much as it would be nice to get more views on this board and have more people taking out time to critique rap, I don't think rap would do well in the mixed genre category. It'd be too foggy for new members who are interested mainly in rap to post on boards where it's mainly singing and poetry. We've a small community on the rap and hip-hop board but it's easier for new members to join and understand "Ok this goes here, perfect!" that's how I started out and how I've enjoyed being on these forums. If other members cared enough for rap they'd check out this section every once and a while. Whoever really cares about this area of the forums is already here, and no merging would make a difference. Just my opinion I hope I made sense.
  8. It's sick! Your flow goes easy on the beat and your production is definitely creative. Punchlines are on point and they make sense, perfect night song to vibe to. I'm always looking out for cons to point out, but I really don't have much this time. Definitely work on your vocabulary add more multisyllable rhyme schemes and have more fun with it man, try to get more orthodox with your style. Tbh I got kind of bored for a minute, but your third verse caught my attention again. I'm sure you heard of this dude, but if you haven't he's definitely talented with free styling. He might come in with writtens, but can easily re-catch momentum and keep the flow going. He plays with words while he's in the pocket and is just creative. Nothing basic just goes at it consistently.. Here's some advice from him I think you'll also appreciate this artist Good luck man! Keep your head up and get to grindin don't quit.
  9. I'mma stop there.. Again your flow is dope your subject matter is aight and your structure is garbage. When I was re-structuring your lyrics I said to myself "god dam... this could be dope as f*ck", let me explain. Your first bar is dope, "FACT or FICTION ... DITCHIN CLASS" you set up a nice AB BC and your second bar is good too, but doesn't follow up on the scheme you set for yourself. You led with a jab, left, right and a uppercut in your first combo and then followed that up with two left overhands. You set this nice pace with your first combo and became more docile in your second. Your next bar is a perfect example of the use of syllables. If you noticed I only emphasized add from addicts, this is because you set your current scheme to a simple KT (act) to rhyme too. "A-KT & A-DUH" these two are close so that's good enough and could even open up your path to other words with more syllables that have DUH within them. Then your run back to your original scheme again with SMACK ACT, you're setting yourself up to run away from your house and with ADD & SMACK you then run back to your house like you forgot something on your couch with ACT. This line is f*cking dope bro. Everything about it just works, it sets up a nice scheme and ends with a bridge. Cept you didn't build to it with your last 3 bars or even the previous one. Work on bridging and building up your rhyme scheme's structures from the start. The next two bars could be awesome if you just replaced the second conscious with something else. You're doing the act smack thing again here, but found an exit with consequences and obnoxious responses. You have a lot of potential dude I hope you keep working at it. Don't let what I said deflate but uplift. I want you to check out these videos.. This WILL feel like HOMEWORK because it is. Assignments: Listen to heavily lyrical lyricists like Rakim, Nas, Brother Ali, Eminem, Proof, and whoever you enjoy listening to. Instead of just enjoying their music, open up their song here https://genius.com. Read their lyrics and pay attention to their rhyme schemes Watch the videos below and form simple rhyme structures Open up your vocabulary (reading a book, dictionary, watching a movie, listen to a podcast)
  10. Good shit man your flow and subject matter reminds me of Eminem during his early slim shady phase. Work on the structure a little bit so it's easier to read and easier for you to control. I used to write the same way, but we're not writing an essay. Check out these artists man and see if they resonate with you.. Good luck to you keep workin'
  11. I appreciate the feedback my friend!
  12. It's good man you sort of took an easy-going route on this freestyle. I don't like how you stopped between verses to joke around though, the pauses bothered me for some reason. Keep it up!
  13. Wow this is dope! I'd like to be apart of this
  14. So I avoid spamming these forums with new topics every time I feel like running off my fingers, I decided to make a little compilation or rap book of some of my stuff. Whenever I post for critiques i'll post or edit here. Lmk if you think this is a cool idea! idk how it'll go February
  15. The style's there for sure man. Your subjects are creative and different which is great! Now to the cons.. In terms of subject matter, you make alot of references to things people might not know about for example "was born 01' and was starting paid to kick off got tha J's like wiz," who's the wiz? This might just be me but I'm not sure everyone will know about that. Maybe somehow integrating a better reference to the "wiz" that people can grasp onto. To the point, that if they're like me and they don't understand what you're talking about, you have given a clear reference, that we can research upon and see what you're talking about. Then someone like me would be like "dam ok so that's the wiz gotcha". Besides that (and I'm sorry for running off like this) your rhyme schemes aren't working man. None of these words you're using integrate with each other. Rappers like Eminem have a sort of interchangeable supremacy to their lyrics, where his lyrics work together to form a perfectly rhythmic scheme. Here's an example from "The way I am" by Eminem Study this short 4/5 and pay attention to his emphasis (in bold) and his run ons (in italics). Within his punchlines he has little impacts that keep the listener focused on what he's saying. "I sit BACK with this PACK of ZIGZAGS" not only has it caught my attention as a listener it made sense and it rhymed. Not all rhyme schemes need to rhyme per line essentially, but they need to rhyme eventually. Now lets go back to your small scheme that I took out. All the time layed there in my bed ran to quick but i still escaped "All the time" and "layed there" don't integrate with each other nor does one line emphasis the next. That'd be fine if the third line emphasized the first two lines "in my bed" which it doesn't. Please don't get mad but I'm going to try to re-organize this structure to what works in my mind. all the time laid there, feelin fine in my bed, it was so sublime ran too quick, I tripped but I still made it out the exit. I tacked on a few words that ran on to drop on the point of emphasis. Getting to the point directly and precisely is fine in some cases (especially in today's music), but sometimes its crucial to add run-ons for these points to make sense. I know, this is almost too much information at once. But I can sense potential love for the craft from you, if you got a little more deeper into the small inter-related parts of rap. Here's some homework for ya. Rap has derived from old spoken poetry that originated during slavery in North America, you could call them work songs. They would rhyme and sing their sorrows together in rhythm of their work. Here's an example from a work song called "Dollar Mamie" first publicly performed by Judge "Bootmouth" Tucker and Alexander "Neighborhood" Williams in 1939. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:DollarMamie.ogg Research topic: History of Rap Originators of Rap What is "MC"? Master of ____ Where did "battling" derive from? Self reflection topics: Why am I rapping? What's my message? What's my purpose? Who would I like to influence? Important people: Rakim Nas Tupac Biggie Smalls Eminem Beastie Boys Dr.Dre Eric B. Nate Dogg Watch this movie as well The quality is better on netflix if you have it. Here's an important snippet that I cut for a school project two years ago... I kind of went off the rails here haha... I tend to do that, I hope you take the time to do some research and enjoy hip hop bruh! Take care and you better improve your skills.