• Announcements

    • Songstuff

      New Chat App   06/02/2017

      We have a new chat app available. You will need to sign up for it. You can pick up the invite link at the top of your member hub page:   http://forums.songstuff.com/member/hub/   Remember to use your Songstuff registered email and user name when you sign up! Using the invite link will automatically add you to the Songstuff chat channel.

kenapayne

Sticking Around
  • Content count

    29
  • Joined

  • Last visited

Community Reputation

8 Neutral

About kenapayne

  • Rank
    Sticky Member

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Male
  • Location
    United States of America

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested

Critique Preferences

  • Getting Critique
    Any and All
  1. I'm weak with theory so it's hard for me to explain what I meant about the prechorus. I like the chords and feel they can be a bit more prominent or augmented for a "jazzy" sound (understanding you're not after a "jazzy" song). As for the chorus, it doesn't sound melodic for my personal taste...which is not to say it should be. Just my $0.02.
  2. Thanks for the feedback. Although I have no desire to be a recording artist, I'm realizing the importance of production even when knocking out demos from the home studio. I will definitely take your suggestion to heart and only hope I get better.
  3. Thanks Damon! Your suggestion about the chorus vocal is interesting because I originally had it that way. I wasn't sure if keeping all or some of the megaphone effect would get too monotonous. I think I'll give it a try though.
  4. Hey Will, I appreciate the great advice and especially the time you took to give detailed feedback. I'll experiment with your suggestions, thanks!
  5. Thanks @Jenn, i made a few tweaks and replaced the file. Good call out on the panning of the guitars, hopefully they're more balanced now.
  6. Nice. I wish my band can sound that good live, mistakes and all. I think the song really rocks, the video does help bring it to life. Looking forward to seeing more.
  7. I, too, am digging the verse, musically. I guess I respectfully disagree with the other Ken...I do prefer the 2nd verse's arrangement and the counter-melody in the 1st didn't hook me. I hear a lot of potential in the pre-chorus, I hope you experiment a bit with slightly "different" chord structures. I was not a fan of the chorus at first listen but hear it differently each time I listen. I'd like to hear the next iteration...as you've mentioned, possibly a different arrangement and/or phrasing in the chorus would make a world of difference.
  8. Thanks in advance for any critique... Smashing Pumpkins were a big influence, given the not so subtle reference in the lyrics...so, if you like the genre then I'd really appreciate your feedback. I think there's too much muddiness going in the middle, so any advice for cleaning that up is also appreciated. This was recorded using Reaper and stock plug-ins (incl drums). If you have a similar setup I'd love to hear your production tweaks and hacks (if appropriate for this forum). Thanks for listening. deus ex machina my mind won't concede although feeling defeated I think therefore I can believe my brain is still beating my heart is still bleeding my toes are all tingly, you see she's smiling, she's a god machine i'm 3 sheets I can barely see how easily I can be free the beat that's beneath my feet is the beast that will feed on my siamese dream she's smiling, she's a god machine she steals every scene, she's a god machine scene after scene i feel I've gone to hell in between saved, suddenly a god machine, she's a god machine i've seen this scene last week i'll fall into a sea of deceit saved, suddenly a god machine, she's a god machine excuse me please, did I have too much to drink, I don't think I'm ready to leave her beat that I'm feeling is it real or am I teasing tragedy she's smiling, she's a god machine she steals every scene, she's a god machine scene after scene i feel I've gone to hell in between saved, suddenly a god machine, she's a god machine i've seen this scene last week i'll fall into a sea of deceit saved, suddenly a god machine, she's a god machine
  9. I really love the voice and although the melody is really great and interesting (I really liked the "it's in you..." part) the guitar is too repetitive. The song turns into a showcase for the vocal. Maybe a chorus with a change in rhythm? The eq'ing of the vocals in the chorus(?) took away the warmth without really making much of an impact...and I love the warmth of the voice. It's also interesting reading the replies and how different interpretations are and what people hear and call out...demonstrates the value of a forum like this.
  10. As someone who listened to a lot of funk and R&B back in the day it initially sounded a bit derivative; however, today it's more of an homage than cliche (that synth, for example). I don't know how old you are but your sound and groove sounds authentic yet there's some modern touches you bring musically, mostly vocally. I recognize this is not radio-ready yet but the foundation is ready to build on. I love listening to your stuff because you keep it funky and you have tons of creative and musical talent.
  11. I really dig the song overall. I'll leave any production critique to those more qualified but fwiw I really like how it came together. I do think the chorus could benefit by having a slightly different treatment, it seems to blend too smoothly with the verse and it deserves a more distinct presence, imho. I've heard the BeeGees reference but to me, from a melody and "feel" (whatever the f that means), I can hear late 80's-90s Bowie.
  12. Thanks for the feedback Will, it is a demo but your comments about the mix are appreciated. All the music is recorded by me...a very mediocre guitar player and singer. I agree that some guitar or other instruments sprinkled in for flavor will help the song. I'm not likely to be happy with a song that doesn't work without additional accompaniment, though. But I appreciate the comment!
  13. Hi Songstuff community, your feedback is super appreciated. Breaking Blue One last call for all my lost causes One more shot to give all I got for a chance One last fall, on the floor I get up and, take one more Another day I fail to erase my regret Another way I try to make myself forget I was on the side, of the road You were driving by, didn’t slow Under the blue of a thousand moons Are the broken truths of a thousand fools The blue is breaking I'm breaking blue the blue is breaking I'm breaking blue You've set my life on fire I'm feeling higher You say that you're a liar I see desire I am breaking blue I'm awake but my eyes are shut I can hear my scream but my mouth's not open When you're around, there's no sound You shut me up, when I'm down Under the blue of a thousand moons Are the broken truths of a thousand fools The blue is breaking I'm breaking blue the blue is breaking I'm breaking blue You've set my life on fire I'm feeling higher You say that you're a liar I see desire I am breaking blue Under the blue of a thousand moons Are the broken truths of a thousand fools
  14. Not the greatest mix but I can tell you put a lot of time and yourself into pulling this together and putting it out. The song is really, really good. Not a melody someone would sing when they're doing chores but a tune you might remember when you're ordering a drink and catch eyes with a cute someone.
  15. This song is meant for the stage and a crowd. I bet you're a performer...and even if you're not, in my mind you are. As a Bowie fan I'm not always drawn to Bowie-esque attempts, but I really like this song and style and I'm sure there would be fans seeing this live. For what my opinion matters, there's some f*cking talent here.