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DonnaMarilyn last won the day on August 11 2015

DonnaMarilyn had the most liked content!

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About DonnaMarilyn

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    Lead Player

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    writing lyrics, photography, Tai Chi, movies, theatre, reading

Music Background

  • Musical / Songwriting / Music Biz Skills
  • Musical Influences
    Pretty much everything. I write across a number of genres.


  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Interested With Written Agreement

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    Any and All
    Give It To Me Both Barrels

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4,281 profile views
  1. 2 years

    Lovely to see you again, @Vagdavercustis. And good for you, making a brand new start with a brand new love and in a brand new place. That takes a lot of of courage. You'll be a wonderful mother. I've been AWOL for some time also. Needed to take a sabbatical and re-group. Finding peace is definitely the answer.
  2. The New Look

    Has something gone wrong with the front page??? Or is it an intentional 'new look'? It's - at least so far - very hard to work with. Donna
  3. All Of The Trees

    A singer-songwriter/ballad type song featuring our very own Mary, of 'MazingMaryRocks' fame. She stepped wonderfully out of her comfort zone (rock), and into the genre of singer-songwriter/ballad. The words 'Jeg elsker dig' in the bridge are Danish for 'I love you'. The 'sigh' is to rhyme with 'dig', which is pronounced 'die'.) Music/instrumentation/arrangement/mix: Billy Playle Vocals: MazingMary Lyric: Donna Devine http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13214387 All Of The Trees V1 Night-time is hard When it pulls from the past A tangle of roots That never did bind My tears fall like leaves From all of the trees I wanted to climb Chorus Every time I dream of you You edge a little nearer Your face becoming clearer I'm a kiss away from forgiveness But then you turn and go The way I did to you once On a doorstep long ago V2 Night-time is hard With the mem'ries it brings The way that I lost The chance that was mine To play as I pleased In all of the trees I wanted to climb Chorus Bridge Still hear you sigh 'jeg elsker dig' ...And I drink my morning tea Wondering do you ever think of me? Chorus Outro You were the oak The willow, the birch The aspen, the cypress The cedar, the pine You were all of the trees I needed to climb © Donna Devine
  4. Singer Songwriter Contest

    Lisa, that's got me thinking. I'm Canadian, but one of my co-writers is American, and we've done a couple of singer-songwriter pieces together. (I wrote the lyrics & melody, he wrote the music and did the vocals.) I should write and ask whether the songs would be eligible.
  5. Singer Songwriter Contest

    Wish I played an instrument. Lisa, apparently there's a judging panel. Performances will be evaluated by the Guitar Center Judging Panel and Ariel Rechtshaid based on the following criteria: technique, authenticity, originality, and style.
  6. Who's Up For Get'n Down

    James, the energy & mood are definitely there. Nice catchy title/hook as well. I think you could make the choruses much stronger. Or opt to have simply one really memorable chorus. I'll indicate below what I feel are stumbling blocks - they get in the way of the dynamics, the forward movement. Just my tuppence worth, as always. Keep or sweep. Donna
  7. Bottled It Up

    Excellent suggestions from Hobo, James. Good lyric that'll be even better in the present tense. It'll feel more raw and immediate. One idea for the 'ring' line could be something like: 'I see she's taken everything All except the wedding ring' For these lines When she came begging back for me and I slammed the door angrily (suggest not using an adverb here - show us rather tell us the emotion) Maybe something like (just a rough example): And if she comes begging back to me I'll slam the door and turn the key My tuppence worth. Keep or sweep. Donna
  8. Hoping To Collaborate!

    Welcome to the forums, Kali. Is there somewhere we can hear a few examples of your songs? I'm sometimes in need of a good vocalist. (I write lyrics - and occasionally melodies - and my collaborators take care of the music.) Donna
  9. Midsummer Storm

    Some lovely imagery here. Interesting statement/image in lines 5-8 of the chorus. I feel the lyric/song would benefit if you dropped 2 verses, and created a bridge - varying the rhyme scheme and the number & length of the lines - between the second and third chorus. By the time we get to V5&6, the melody and sameness of the verse content have started to become monotonous. A dynamic bridge to give the song something new lyrically and musically would refresh the listener's interest and lift the lyric/song's impact several notches. You might also go for a more dramatic change up from verse to chorus, with a little more variation in the chorus melody. Maybe even changing the rhyme scheme slightly so that it's even more different from the verses. I think too that dropping some of the mentions of 'she' and 'and' would make the lyric punchier. In any case, just my tuppence worth. Keep or sweep, of course. Donna
  10. Folks, this is a fairly old thread. Just so you know - the guy has a co-writer. Donna
  11. Make Your Love With Me

    I note the original post was submitted 2 years ago. So, not likely the author will be back.
  12. Make Your Love With Me

    Good hook. A little unusual, so it sounds fresh. John, I'd suggest rethinking the rhyme scheme. It sounds very 'Dr. Seuss', and doesn't match the tone of the lyrical content. The prosody is 'off'. I think you have a solid foundation for a hot tune, but recommend careful consideration of various lines, and use sensual language, avoiding cliches. The colour thing - blue/green/red - doesn't work for me. You might also consider shortening the verses (e.g. 3 x 6 lines, or even having just two 6- to 8-line verses. Some of the lines could easily be dropped, but still leave you with a punchy little number. Maybe have a 2- or 4-line bridge after the second chorus. I hope the comments are useful. Keep or sweep, of course. Donna
  13. My Last Prayer

  14. My Last Prayer

    I very much enjoyed this. Actually, it mirrors some of my own thoughts (e.g. in my recently posted 'Jackhammer Love'). Your lyric has a compelling poignancy about it. I feel a little tightening up in places would make for a stronger, punchier statement. You might consider shortening the piece by combining elements from two or three verses to create just one. Or break things up by restructuring one of the verses and turning it into a hard-hitting bridge. Otherwise, the list becomes predictable, as will - possibly - the music & melody. I'll comment below. Any suggestions are on a keep-or-sweep basis, of course. In future, please label the lyric sections. Donna
  15. More Than Six Feet Deep

    Sounding good, Tony. I now also 'get' the extended intention of 'won't'. Donna