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Everything posted by LooknGlass

  1. I like this a lot John. I like what Gary said, I would add "I'm losing you" at the end of every chorus myself. Good write!
  2. I was wondering if anybody else uses ReaTune in Reaper?...As I have begun doing vocals (verses, just lyrics) within the past year or so, I have been using this feature in Reaper. I have got to where I can tune my vocals without it being noticed in the last couple months (after a lot of practice) without sounding like Cher in her song "Believe". This is the tutorial I started with to learn it, yet, I just use a single track of my vocal, unlike what he does in the vid. Anybody else use this?
  3. I sat down one night with the intention of writing something different and experimenting a little. Whether it works or not, well, I don’t really know. Some who have read the lyric say yes, some say no. The concept being what the singer wants you to figure out. My collaborator, Ramiro Montes De Oca picked up the lyric and added the music and vocal. Thoughts and suggestions very welcome. What Am I To You I have saved good people I have killed them too I have fed the hungry and took food from a few What am I to you, What am I, what am I to you? Sometimes give assistance and sometimes I subdue Sometimes I’m a bluffer, other times; follow through What am I to you, What am I, what am I to you? (Bridge) To one I’m good to one I’m evil To some; bring peace To some; upheaval It all depends on your point of view What am I to you, What am I, what am I to you? To some I’m accepted To some I am taboo Backed, or a target like the one I point to What am I to you, What am I, what am I to you? 2017© L. James Tanner
  4. Thanks man, I really appreciate the listen and feedback, as well as the compliment. I got a message from Ramiro (the musician) today. I guess we got another collab coming soon. I like him a lot, he's got loads of talent.
  5. Ok, now I know I know them. I have heard both those songs, and I like them both too, but I have heard "Personal Jesus" get more airplay (at least in the past) You guys are right, it does have their kind of vibe.
  6. Thanks a mil for the listen and critique Richard. Good stuff to pass on. I had a little lack of confidence in the lyric because I never wrote one as a riddle before, but I'm glad peeps like it. I honestly can't name a song Depeche Mode sang so now I'm off to Youtube to see if I have heard them.
  7. Cool tune! It's got a Bee Gees meets Prince feel. Groovy and funky and very enjoyable. Nice work man
  8. Good tune! I get a slight U2 vibe from it. It's got a great vibe and mood. I can't think of anything to suggest, it was a great song to sit back with the headphones on and chill. Nice work
  9. Man, that's a good idea David, I like it a lot, and I'm mad (not really) that I didn't come up with that bridge idea, it's great! I gotta see if my collaborator has some free time soon, to pitch that. Thanks, great mind jog!....I just made that up.
  10. Great sound and vocal, I dig it! I find myself wondering what you mean by the chorus, but that's not a bad thing, vagueness can be interesting, and with the great vocal, it is. Cool tune!
  11. This is different and unique, not the same ole same ole, and I like that. The switch up at about the 1:15 mark caught me by surprise, but it was a cool surprise. Cool tune Hamzi, I like it!
  12. Thanks for the listen and comment Matthew. I liked Ramiro's take on it myself. I've never worked with him before, but I hope to again.
  13. Thanks a mil for your response and critique Will. I will relay your observations to Ramiro, and see what he thinks. This is a first pass so I'll see if anything else is coming especially bridge wise. Like I said in my post, this was an experiment, with the idea the singer would introduce the song as a riddle. Now some have said they don't get it with some of the verses after knowing the answer, and some are ok with it. The answer is; a gun
  14. A touch of Pink Floyd meets David Bowie. That's what I hear, and I like it. Being primarily a lyricist I can't really comment on it musically in depth, but I do like the melody and feel. Good stuff
  15. Hi Neil, I know what you are talking about. My sister, who just passed away recently, had the issues you mentioned, and it can be hard. Actually IS hard. I'm with you my friend. To many write to impress others instead of expressing themselves truly. We all want to impress, but first we have to learn to express properly, and I know without a doubt that you get that. I always have liked your work. Songstuff is my home of homes, even though I am not here as much as I used to be, this forum, or more correctly "community" has helped me A LOT through the 5 plus years I've been a member.
  16. Although this post mainly deals with lyricists, I think musicians can glean some truth. *NOTE*... Most of what I say here is subjective....This is the way I see it. I remember as a young boy, finding a well worn note binder on my mother's dresser, and being curious, I opened it and looked inside. It was filled from front to back with poems she had written; with the time written, day, and year at the bottom of each one. I sat down on her bed and started reading them. I had read about four or so, when my mom came in and caught me; mad as a hen that I invaded her privacy. After getting a lecture about how those were her private thoughts, I asked her why she never read me any poems (she read me books all the time). She said she didn't write them for other people, she wrote them to make her feel better. At the time, I didn't grasp what that really meant. Now I do. Why do we write? What is your core reason to write? There could be many answers to that, from many different people. But the core reason should always be, because you enjoy it. Other reasons might be; "because I want to get famous" or "I want to make money at it" but the core reason is enjoyment. If you don't enjoy it, you're not going to get famous and it's doubtful you will make any money. Yet there's another reason linked to the enjoyment factor (at least for me) and that is; it's therapy. It makes me feel better. I can vent anything through writing. I can let it all out, and in the process, deal with what I'm feeling in a constructive way. So I encourage new writers, don't write in hopes of impressing someone, or for getting a lot of positive reviews. Because the more you write for that reason, the less positive reviews you will probably get. If you really love writing, you WILL get better. Yet, part of getting better, is getting in touch with yourself. Write what pleases YOU and advance in your craft from there. Listen and learn from the seasoned writers, and use their input to express who you are better, in a better way than you did before. When you're feeling depressed and can hardly move; write. When you are feeling frisky; write. When you're content; write. You get the picture. Throw off your apprehension and lack of confidence, and write to feel better, not worrying about other people. And then when you decide to post, and you find you get negative reviews; don't sweat it. The core of you is in the lyric, now just reword it into a polished form that fits a lyric criteria. The more you write and take advice, the easier it gets, not only in writing a good lyric, but also in being able to reach down inside yourself to pull one out. To sum it all up; write what feels good to you, so you can feel better, and be better. Let it be your cheap form of therapy.
  17. Good stuff! I get a Pink Floyd kinda influence emanating from it for sure. I like the vocal and music key changes, and the background vocals add a good vibe. The length of the song may be the only drawback in terms of keeping listeners to the end, even though it's a good tune. Attention spans are short these days. Still, Good work!
  18. I like it, it sounds good, but I think it may need a more dynamic change up to make it "pop" more. Having said that, I think it has a good vibe and sound. Nice work
  19. This is something I wrote and it's set awhile. Thoughts and ideas appreciated. (Vs) I had to have it my way I just wouldn't compromise Everything was what I wanted I wouldn't have it otherwise (Vs) She tried her best to reach me Tried to warn me gracefully I dismissed her like a servant Now I'm a slave to misery (Ch) If she heard this song, would she come back again? If I bore my soul, would she want me then? I need her to hear, I see that I was wrong, but would she even care if she heard this song? (Vs) Wrapped up in paying the bills but not in her arms at night Drinking to much when I was stressed; purposely picking a fight (Vs) Hindsight is 20/20 and I see that I was blind This song that I've just written is all that she left behind (Bridge) I want to say; "Sorry I was a fool" Tell her; "Nothings worth losing you" (Ch) If she heard this song, would she come back again? If I bore my soul, would she want me then? I need her to hear, I see that I was wrong, but would she even care if she heard this song @ L. James Tanner
  20. Thanks to everyone for their critique. I usually like to address all individually, but I'm swamped. It's evident that the consensus is that it is indeed cliched, so I am beginning the rewrite. A lot of helpful comments from everyone, A lot!.. I appreciate it a whole bunch. In the coming days, I'll be posting ideas
  21. The effects aren't great, but I just used my limited ability to get the idea and feel across of the type (or sort of) sound I was shooting for. I am pitching this for a project. It was done quick just to get the idea out. Tips, suggestions and help with vocals very appreciated. If the melody and idea sucks, I won't be offended if you say so, just experimenting. https://app.box.com/s/1pzzvibtfdjxxrxwk6zc683y3g1uw9dv Spiders In The Web It’s all about control, knowing everything we know They’re watching everything we do On the iPad, our TV, our cell phone, our PC They’re plugged right in to me and you Spiders in the Web with many eyes that pry Spiders in the Web that our life is hanging by Convenience is our enemy, it has a price and heavy fee; our secrets will be brought to light. Our habits, skeletons, all our demons, darkest sins are being gathered byte by byte Spiders in the Web with many eyes that pry Spiders in the Web that our life is hanging by Spiders in the Web Spiders in the Web Spiders in the Web are poisonous to us © L. James Tanner
  22. Thanks for the look over and your thoughts retro, appreciated. Usually I agree that different lines should convey something new, and usually try harder to do that, but the melody kinda dictated a different approach for me. Instead of stand alone lines dictating the progression, the verses as a whole did. With the first addressing how he himself acted, reiterating in frustration his fault throughout the entire verse, and the second telling of her trying to reach him about what he was doing, and how he reacted to that. I admit it needs work, no doubt, and it didn't unfold as well as I wanted (which is why it has sat awhile on my HD, while I waited for better words to come) but I am going to a least try and keep each verse as a whole with a different aspect of what's going on, I just need to do it better. When it comes to "Bore my soul"...I gotta disagree, everything's songish if done right With the melody I have in mind it slides by like butter. Whenever I get this to music, I'll let you be the judge of that, it could be subjective possibly. As for; Wrapped up in paying the bills but not in her arms at night I myself have never heard that phrase in a song, and thought I came up with it. If it's cliched, or has been used, and I used it subconsciously, I totally missed it, and will definitely have to change it. I agree and have been contemplating a positive spin toward the end, but I don't want it too positive, the song is a pinning song with the intent being, that those who have lost their woman, can send the song as their sorry. But, intent and execution are different things. It needs a lot of work for sure, which is exactly why I posted it here. Maybe you can help me with what progress you see happening, especially between the first two verses. This is a lyric that I looked at and looked at, until I was overthinking it, and basically did nothing to it.
  23. "still wonder if it's to many "I" in such a small space. Makes it sound more about the singer then about her hearing" You may be right about that, imma thinkin on it and what maybe to do. And I think I will drop the 3rd verse also. I'll try to get to this this week, I have to finish up some other stuff for a vocalist, and I'll jump back on it. Thanks Tom!
  24. Maybe he was afraid someone would actually hear my voice...lol
  25. Thanks Tom, I appreciate the listen and the nice comment, I'm still gun shy with a mic. I must admit I don't know which one you heard, but I'm guessin it was "More Than I Can Chew". I'm just on my first cup of joe, so after the cobwebs are gone I'll get around to thinking and commenting on what ya said in "If She Heard This Song" which I got open in another tab. Peace man, see ya in the forum!