Dee

Hello all This has gone very quiet hasn't it? lol Merry Christmas to you all. Dee

I'd be tempted to keep it simple. Get a pen and paper a list every thought and emotion that comes into your mind. Already, by reading your post, I have come up with: confused torn please/pleasing swirling and distorted = a kaleidoscope contrasting conflicting indecisions bravery crossroads Keep at it and I am sure there will be an obvious hook that jumps out. Regards Dee

Good idea! I'll have a think and see what I can come up with.

Hello, I'm back and relaxed, refreshed and rejuvenated (spelling? I'm terrible at it.) It seems a lot has happened in the past couple of weeks. Shocking to know about the riots! Anyway JD, I know you've a lot on your plate at the moment so this is for when you're ready to look at it. I've progessed my story by adding a 2nd verse. I've kept the first verse the same only making one amendment - swapping FOREVER to ALWAYS so it should fit better. I agree, the chorus is the biggie and I wanted to make it as powerful as possible as well as keeping it simple. I've changed the title to The Promises we Make. The chorus ends with the word PROMISES but it could be changed to THE PROMISES WE MAKE. Also JD, you end a line with OTHER while I end it with MAKE which, obviously is a syllable short, which obviously could be a problem. But if you like the story, then this is something we can work around. The Promises we Make © Denielle West - August 2011 V1 Something tells me Somethings so wrong The smile that lights your eyes Is now dead and gone Someone took you To have and always hold The honeymoons over His love has turned cold Pre-chorus He criticizes all that you do (Yet) you got somebody here who loves you Chorus I dont wanna see Another tear streak Sometimes we have to break The promises we make We can justify We can reason why Why we have to break Promises (or) Why we have to break The promises we make. V2 Sometimes I curse Timing in life If I had met you first You would be my wife Fate has served us This chance to be as one I know I ask a lot And your heart is torn Pre-chorus Id turn my back on my love for you If I knew he worshiped you too Chorus MP and Danka - Your songs are progressing well. Great work!

Hey JD Thanks for your comments. I'm about to go on holiday in a couple of days time but will look at it again when I return. Cheers Dee

Hungry like the Wolf - Duran Duran

Close to You - THe Carpenters

Sweet child of mine - guns and roses.

Country Roads - Hmmm and the version by... Olivia Newton-John

The Air that I Breathe - The Hollies

Bobby's Girl - Susan Maughan

Knowing Me, Knowing You - Abba (again)

Spirit in the Sky - Norman Greenbaum

Mamma Mia - abba

Danka Your song is really coming along. I like the story you're telling. JD I have to agree with Danka that it is quite challenging to listen to someone singing one set of words while reading another so my entry may be a syllable or two out! You mentioned the rhyming scheme earlier and said you would like it to be lines 1 and 2. Would lines 2 and 4 work? Are you willing to tweak your melody slightly? As you will see I have written a line just before the pre-chorus (line . p.s. I like your challenges - keep them coming! The Promises we Give – © Denielle West. July 2011 Something tells me, Something’s so wrong. The smile that lights your eyes Is now dead and gone. Someone took you To have and forever hold The honeymoon’s over His love has turned cold He criticizes all that you do (Yet) you’ve got somebody here who loves you I can’t stand to watch Your life pass you by Sometimes we have to break the promises we give If you stay with him You’re too young to die Come away with me. Live

Bare Neccessities - Phil Harris as Baloo the Bear!

Bambeleo - Gypsy Kings

Summer Wine - Nancy Sinatra

Hi JD Is there a deadline for this one?

Weather With You - Crowded House - (Wendy House is what we used to call a child's playhouse back when I was young! Just for those who didn't know).

Wooden heart - Elvis

Wow JD, what can I say? To say how poorly you are, you really gave it your all didn't you? It certainly packs a punch and has real impact. It actually made me jump out of my skin in a couple of places! If that is required I shall try. I've got a busy few days coming up (Bon Jovi concert , followed by a family wedding) so I will give it some attention after the weekend. In the meantime, make sure you have lots of hot drinks. Tea is the best remedy imo. Rest your voice. Eat chocolate. Put your feet up and you will feel better in no time

No, I had to go to a different website as soon as I'd posted. I will read it now

Hello JD I am quite willing to change the chorus to fit that's not a problem. My initial thoughts when I began was to have the chorus focussing on the podium. To stand above 2nd and 3rd, watching your flag being raised and your National Anthem being played, I think must be such an amazingly proud moment. I will put my thinking cap on and see what I come up with. And I'll see if I can squeeze a middle out as well. On a disappointing note, our application for olympic tickets has been unsuccessful oh well, we obviously didn't make it happen this time. Like your song by the way