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tomcollins last won the day on December 27 2016

tomcollins had the most liked content!

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About tomcollins

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    United States of America
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    life is short , play hard and make the music sweet !!! Rock On !!


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    anything that makes my foot tap !!!

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  1. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Peggy. Kinda siding with you now that I've slept on this. Part of me thinks it needs to be rewritten, for some not getting it. Really not about more tension more losing more desperation. Just a guy saying.been hurt done wrong before have my faults . but I love you wholly. But also feel hook could be drawn out
  2. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Lmao i knew i like ya for a reason !!! Thanks!! But the chorus and the choose line Haven't sat well with me. So had an idea towards garys point on the chorus. And going to write it down look at it then maybe post it. Lol but his point on that was pretty spot on . A big Rock on !!
  3. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Aahh good stuff!!! Been a long while that I've listened to this!! We all need a good cry once in awhile lord knows writing that was hell and wisps of heaven . Figured you'd like a stroll down songstuff lane!! Rock on!!!!!!
  4. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Patty thanks for the crit! Love details and thoughts! Get the hearts thing. It may just be a southern thing . but when others talk " "my hearts freaking breaking" guess proper would be " my heart is breaking" "Hearts lonely beat" would be how you describe your heart no? Lol either way felt natural. No ya got me wondering if the rest of the worlds not southern. smiled at a million faces This guy doesn't seem like the smiling type. I wonder if it would be better if you said something like "explored a million faces" or "searched" every night had a different view Yay! A word we can take out! Every night a different view unfamiliar beds and places a life time searching for you Good line! Verse2 was to support first. Basically this guy is on the road But maybe should flip verses. Say a musician. Bored with life V 1 Smiled at a million face (no one want a frowning musician) "Had" a different view( had a different girl) So in my head supporting V1 you held me like no other lover( never been happy with this line. Not the one I would choose boy knows who he is and where he came from. Hope that explained a bit. But will re look cause i believe that if you have to explain then its Not right. Rock on!!
  5. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Thanks for the crit!! "Looked out empty windows" More a metaphor like lifes around you. But you see nothing of interest. Not nit picking! Lol Rock on !
  6. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Ah mate, You kill me lol I really thought someone came out with a hook book.lol a cheat sheet if you will! Thats how I get my inspiration. A saying, a clip from a movie even other songs two words in a verse. Almost anything. What I should do is go threw my 22 notebooks of chicken scratch and take out all possible hooks. Dancing with yesterday( came from an old saying ) Are you real( are you for real) Shadows and dust(saying in a movie) Blame it on woman & the weather(movie clip) I'm not perfect but my love is( old love letter from grandfather to grandmother) Heavy load( construction saying) Think when I first joined this site wrote a few lyrics and added a chorus( which i cringe when i read them) This one chorus then verses. Tho I been fighting with the feel of this one. As you well know I can be a wee bit headed! So it's OK as you said. But also giving this the tension as ya also said should work.will have to play out the tension of verses and chorus. If chorus done like you suggested there's no real release. Which would drive me nuts musically. As you helped on this. First one I put music to very emotional write https://m.soundcloud.com/tom-collins-12/goodbyeangel7 Still to this day one of my hardest writes Think we worked on this for over a week. And took me a year to put music to. Give it a listen mate. Bet ya will tear up a bit! Long time ago . But point taken and now listened to that a few times has set me back in time lol So point is your right will do a rewrite but now ya put a fire in my butt . Check back later with both barrels!! I always felt writing this hook was a bit weak but felt the saying could over come for so many can relate Rock on !!#
  7. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Hook book sign me up !! Wouldn't that be grand ! Going to play around with that. Knew- know better but.... It was fitting which tells me 2 things . Rewrite chorus all around! Lyric /🎶
  8. standing on the edge of tomorrow

    Your baby mate. Im on way to hospital for few stitches.
  9. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Lol no i been at that line from start. But for me it sums it up. Playing in my head not horrible. But stumbles a bit . Rock on David I got your meaning and no, your not out of line. What i meant if you practiced guitar everyday for a year you would have to improve some. Lyrically should be the same. One reason why this site helps. The info is here to get better. Opens your mind to new styles. I been here awhile and seen leaps and bounds from others, and myself? For me the rut tends to be emotional. Silly ? But its true. Most times a movie or meeting a stranger snaps me out.but... Its the wait that kills me. So get what you say . editing and not being good as i thought it was. I kinda wrapped the whole process into one. Self doubt and such come into play . But I'm more a realist, i know lyrically I suck .and ok with that because its an improvement from "f"ing really suck! You see some artists go into years of such slumps. Being an emotional writer i tend to snap out in few months. Its a weird topic But Its one we all face. But as you said "we" ourselves have to concur it not something learned more grown. Me, maybe go pick a fight with the wife! Kidding!!!! For me if I don't write the lyric at one time. Very hard to complete it. Let alone edits! I truely thank you for your comments! Its all part of what we do! Even if what we do is just for ourselves! Rock on !!!
  10. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Ever good enough? Of you do anything enough you become good. How good ? Well depends who you ask. Yourself? Yes we all became better . how could we not? Yet i still suck at edits!! Most times know my lyrics are weak but when music comes its easier to handle! But love writing Rock on
  11. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Truth be told ,emotional writer. Tried many things and simple fact is I have to be in the moment. Inspired. Don't have to be personal but Inspired. John does some good things with the lyrical challenges. And privately I try them.lol probably shouldn't said that but true. Most everything I've ever written had been quick 5-10 minute writes. And as we can see I totally suck at edits!! Rock on
  12. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Yea agreed on choose but...tossed few things around and it still came back to choose ....
  13. This Is Who We Are/Now: Table for Two

    Time and stories Chapter's of life. Pretty solid Also like peggy's suggestion above on This is what we do Rock on
  14. I'm not perfect but my love is

    Been lyrically in slumps. This one was done awhile back did some edits. Like the melody I have so put it back out with edits. looked out empty windows as my soul flew round and round hearts lonely beat just echoed as I walked those streets of doubt smiled at a million faces every night had a different view unfamiliar beds and places a life time searching for you tired of living on what if's hearts giving all its got to give I know I'm not perfect girl but my love is have scars my tattoo's wont cover and pains that numb my mind you held me like no other lover supporting me in those times tired of living on what if's hearts giving all its got to give I know I'm not perfect girl but my love is know I still have issues Your touch has changed this man I'm not the one I would choose but yet you love me as I am tired of living on what if's hearts giving all its got to give I know I'm not perfect girl but my love is Know I'm not perfect But...my love is
  15. Never the Same

    Same page Pretty solid write . not sure of first line verse 3, if musically it would fit do to length. More like 2 lines. The redundant thing does come into play in 2 ways as david said and also lyrically Verses dont really say anything new. The bridge i like kinda ties it together. Would maybe think of different metaphors to get away from things that have been said the same way for centuries. But all in all I like it! Rock on