writeandwrong

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writeandwrong last won the day on May 3

writeandwrong had the most liked content!

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About writeandwrong

  • Rank
    Senior Member

Contact Methods

  • Website URL
    http://www.facebook.com/TheIanBlackBand; http://www.reverbnation.com/IanBlackBand4; http://www.twitter.com/TheIanBlackBand

Profile Information

  • Gender
    Female
  • Location
    United States of America
  • Interests
    Writing & music; continued education in the music business

Music Background

  • Band / Artist Name
    The Ian Black Band
  • Musical / Songwriting / Music Biz Skills
    Lyricist for male band; social media; merchandise; publisher/label co-owner; ASCAP writer/publisher
  • Musical Influences
    Boston, Phantom of the Opera (Andrew Lloyd Webber), Pink Floyd, Dan Fogelberg, Queen, 38 Special, Eagles, Foreigner, Bruce Springsteen, Asia, Black Sabbath, Triumph, Def Leppard, John Williams, Bach

Collaboration

  • Songwriting Collaboration
    Not Interested

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. Aww, Tom, you know I love your work, and I like the changes that have transpired after Gary's comments. The one change I'd like to see just to add a little variation is the bolded line: Search for words,to ease your lonely pain Days fly by , gets harder to explain It's a heavy load - Maybe something with the same alliteration, but just to drive it more when you get to the chorus...On this weary road or something like that or have On this weary road or something similar be the last line of your chorus. It's a heavy load My back is sore, I'm all alone It's a heavy load A heavy load What can I say, Tom? You're awesome! I'm a fan Another great write from you!! Glad to see you're still active here!! --Cheryl--
  2. Hi, John and welcome to SongStuff. I haven't been on here in a long time so bear with me for my critique. I like the idea of your song and think it's well thought out. I think it could be tightened up quite a bit simply by taking out the extra words that really aren't necessary, Find My Way Home I only like me drinking whiskey I only like me getting stoned And I can’t take to face the poor man What is it you are trying to say here? That you can't face the poor man? You can't come face to face with him? This should be more clear. Who’s been carrying this load Spend my days waiting for the nighttime Spends my nights searching my soul But it’s always a fool’s errand Because my soul is right at home Wake up lonely and hungover It’s a feeling I’ve come to know Can’t shake the fact that something’s missing Like I don’t know which way to go I only like me drinking whiskey I only like me getting stoned And I can’t take to face the poor man Who’s been carrying this load It’s hard to lose something inside you In fact it’s never really truly gone I'm not so sure truly is a better word than really, but really is kinda a so-so word in songs when there are so many other adverbs to describe how "gone" it never is. So for now I’ll keep on searching Hopefully heading my way home God I hate drinking this whiskey God I hate getting so stoned So is a very so-so filler word. Can you find an adjective that better describes how you're feeling about hating getting stoned? And I’m getting so damn tired Again with the "so." Of being the man carrying this load Won’t you lift me of these burdens God won’t you help me find my soul Because this weather’s getting rainy I'd like to see something more emotional, more gut-wrenching than "getting rainy" to describe how you feel. And I’d sure like to get home Take what I say for what it is. Take or leave whatever you want. I may have more critiques for you after seeing a rewrite, but hoping that the points I've brought up help you moving forward. You are doing a fantastic job on your first ever fully-written song and look forward to seeing / hearing it as it progresses. Best of luck to you! --Cheryl--
  3. Hi, Neil. I haven't been on here in awhile and it's been awhile since I've done a critique, so please bear with me here. First off, I like this lyric a lot and would love to hear it set to music and I like the chorus and think Tom's edit definitely strengthens it. As others have pointed out, the first two lines...yep, gonna hear it again, but it's not just the singability that comes to mind, but also the use of past/present tense. As it is it isn’t anymore What it was we had i wasn't sure So let's pull apart the first line here, As it is, it isn't anymore... correct tense for what you are trying to say would be: As it was, it isn't anymore So if you use that, the second line now would need to be changed to something like (just a suggestion): Whatever we had i am not sure or hold out the not for the extra beat: Whatever we had I'm no-ot sure Rest of the lyric looks great!! Best of luck to you with it and hope that helps some. --Cheryl--
  4. Great to see you're back, Cheryl  !!! :D

  5. It's good to be back :-)

    1. Janeva

      Janeva

      Great to have you back !!!

    2. tunesmithth

      tunesmithth

      Just noticed that you're back among the "Mods"...good deal!

  6. Hi, all. I've been gone...much longer than what was planned, and I miss everyone...I hope all is well! I am going to play around in here to see what has changed and try to get reacquainted with everyone again. I love SongStuff and was a moderator. I would definitely still like to help out in some aspect after I get reaclimated. A lot has changed since my last login. We've got a debut album out and just finished 10 more songs we're prepping for a second album. Something I really need to work on is a specific 'schedule' for social media, writing, songstuff, etc. I think this is where I went wrong when I was here before. I got overwhelmed with the schedule I had, in addition to personal life situations...I didn't know how to be flexible to make everything work. What else do I need to work on? I guess I just need someone to kick my a$$ a little to get me to create a schedule and stick with it :-) I miss critiquing. Critiquing is fun. It not only allows you to view some great work, but it also helps you keep technicalities in mind while writing your own material. I learned a lot while I was here before, I think I've learned a lot since I've been away. While I need to monitor my time, I hope to be able to bring the two experiences together to be more helpful to the board. --Cheryl-- P.S. It felt good just signing back in Looking forward to catching up with people and what everyone else has been up to!
  7. Hey, Jan. Nice collab. I like Avit/Gary's suggestions on the chorus, but the song is . Glad to hear you are getting your material out there! Cheryl
  8. I'm so behind... Sorry, guys, but a huge congratulations!!
  9. Hi, Tom! Happy to find this on here today but whoaa what a sad, sad write...perfectly titled "Beautifully Sad" Some very nice lines here: how do you mend a broken heart when every beat leaves a scar to be loved till the fires gone Have you started on music for this yet? Please let me know when it's ready for a listen! Love this awesome write! Cheryl
  10. Hi, bronzerebel! Welcome! Hope you feel at home here. It's a great site with a lot of information to help you in your career. Cheryl
  11. Hi, Alexandre123. Welcome. We hope you find the site useful! There is a lot embedded in the forums so happy reading! Cheryl
  12. Hi, Neil! Welcome aboard! We look forward to reviewing your material. Cheryl
  13. Hi, Steven52! Sounds like you've come to the right place! Welcome :-) Cheryl
  14. Hi, BrainClaim! Welcome! Cheryl
  15. Hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday season!

    1. tunesmithth

      tunesmithth

      Please do the same