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Found 104 results

  1. Hi. This is my first post, and I'd love to hear some feedback on my first song-writing attempt. It was inspired by how my husband says goodbye to me in the morning. I'm hearing it in the style of Miranda Lambert's "Gravity is a Bitch," with that old-timey saloon player piano. I Ain't Your Mama As the sun was coming up, he said goodbye To our son and to someone I didn't recognize It sounded like mama, but his mama is dead That left one women and she was still in bed. Now this girl here is the household prima donna That doesn't share her crown And is prone to psychodrama So I set off on a quest to fix this now Hearing something that just ain't allowed I flew out of bed as he walked out the door Cause this is something that can't be ignored And I grabbed his jacket as he got in his Honda Listen up bubba, I ain't your momma I ain't your mama You gotta get this straight Well, I might look like a feather weight But I'm gonna hafta beat you over the brow If you don't knock off this mama stuff Right now Having mama on your mind might help explain Why I've been feeling so mundane From planning all the dinners To trying to look slimmer It's no wonder why I've failed to deliver It's become such a drain It's driving me insane I’m your wife not your mother Your one and only lover While I don't mean to complain It's been a real pain Picking up all your messes And still having time for caresses At 4 am when I've barely slept An your pistol wants to stand erect If I had some help like a partner should I'd have more time to chop that wood So come and lend a hand Like you really are my man Let's tackle this together It's our shared endeavor I ain't your mama You gotta get this straight Well, I might look like a feather weight But I'm gonna hafta beat you over the brow If you don't knock off this mama stuff Right now Note: This works good in the key of A with A, E, D, G and there is one more that needs to go lower than E, but I'm not sure what it would be. All I can find that fits is the low E note.
  2. Hello guys! This is my 4th attempt to write the lyrics for my new song. I took all suggestions that you gave me and re-did it. Could you please check if that is fine now? I left in parenthesis what I want to omit - will it be OK? Can I use - "the game that claims myself to you" for the meaning "the game which makes me devoted to you"? (I need the verb "claim" for rhyming reasons) ============================================================================== *** Inside Your Game *** Verse 1. Call me, just call me, throw at me what you're up to (it) Won't hurt me, (it) won't disturb me, (there'll be) no wondering - lie or true Play me, you can play with me, re-frame me inside your game Will get here, down on my knee, and never be the same Refrain (2 vocals sing simultaneously). I try again... to get to you when we're starting to play yes we're starting to play Though there's noone yet to win in this game I know I will play the same I try again... to see the light of the day but I'm willing to stay, and, I'm willing to play And though I will likely to be thrown - I don't know when or where Verse 2. Longer, days get longer, I'm longing to catch sight of you It's stronger, gets much stronger, and wronger and past due Bridge. I'm blown away with the game that claims myself to you Who can explain why I'm lost on this way and if I ever, ever will get close to you Refrain (2 vocals sing simultaneously). I try again... to get to you when we're starting to play yes we're starting to play I know there's no one yet to win in this game, (I) don't care - I will play the same I try again... to see the light of the day but I'm willing to stay, I am willing to play And though I will likely to be thrown - It's unknown Ending. Are lonely nights here to stay? Will I be lost in this game? Or should it get around and we'll be heading to another round Forever seasons changing one another and I'm sure that day will come The day when I hear your steps behind my door
  3. Thanks so much to all of you that helped on the last song I posted :)! I'm starting to attempt recording that one currently. I'm wondering if you guys have any advice/ critique on this one which is not nearly as finished, and I'm going to work recording without video once I get some advice. Particular with lyrics, and the Chord progression (if you can call it that), and the "chorus" if the guitar works, and generally if it sounds any good. The breaks between the lyrics are rough, and I'm not sure how I want to go about it. Any help, comments, and critique are appreciated (I don't have anything other than YouTube at the moment, and I'm not sure how to get an audio file on YouTube(with a picture in the background). That's why it's still a video.) Lyrics: You see me as a wounded dog Bleeding, flees in my paws Leading, seeping in your claws I'm so scared to leave my room Terrified that I might see you soon Dear I know It's not your fault You don't feel the way I do Or at least you don't want To Why'd ya Stay just long enough To make me feel the sting of loss I saw the sun bleeding blue this afternoon I couldn't help but to Wish you, to lay me in your lap Feel the touch of rain on your back to see your kind eyes facing back To Hear the way you breath in Dear I know It's not your fault You don't feel the way I do Or at least you don't want To Why'd ya Stay just long enough To make me feel the lack of your touch To make me feel like I was enough
  4. Hey guys, new song that came pretty fast tonight. The recording is very rough, may rerecord it. I would appreciate any feed back. Thanks
  5. I sing in the gold, I sing in the wind Mercury sapphire, mercury bin You float up the river you float, and you breathe mercury sunset, mercury leave the targets of laughter the women we creave ancient pull wonder furtive new beads I risk all the sunset I whisk you like leaves
  6. I’d rather live in a world without You, than know you’re never here, I cant pretend that it’s okay when I don’t know when you’ll be back, Again, I can't hold it all together when every thing is up in the air, I’m not going to be holding your hand while I'm holding you back, But You must need to know how it is I feel, I’ll love you until until the end of time, Even if you don’t think my feelings Real, But I know it won’t feel like you're mine. You expected the world but now I cant give you my best, I know I’ve disappointed but now we're in different places, I know that you need to go and that your mind needs a rest, You’ll see the world you want to see and meet many new faces, But You must need to know how it is I feel, I’ll love you until until the end of time, Even if you don’t think my feelings Real, But I know it won’t feel like you're mine. I promise I’m not going to hold you back, I'll always have your back, While it maybe doesn’t seen that way, I will always be here waiting, For you to.come and see me, it will always make my heart ache, I don’t want to move on even if you’ll always be see travelling. But You must need to know how it is I feel, I’ll love you until until the end of time, Even if you don’t think my feelings Real, But I know it won’t feel like you're mine. You never asked my opinion, that didn’t help my decision, My minds been away, I’ll still love you until the end of time, My feelings are still real, but I can’t go for the wrong reasons, Can we be together when it doesn’t feel like you’re mine?
  7. Hi all - I started this yesterday morning as I was going to do a hip hop track to post up for Aloproductions. It kind of took a different route and then I thought about the track @Steve Mueske posted recently with the short different parts woven together and decided to try something like that. It's not as technical as Steve's track, as I am so far away from that level, but felt there was something interesting in this. So, looking for some feedback on all aspects of it - I feel like it needs something else in there, something big near the end, but any suggestions and critique would be welcome. Cheers https://soundcloud.com/moodman-1/glass-08032017-1621 Okay - I purchased Ozone 7 Elements today and wanted to do a quick comparison of the same song, but with one of the master presets. I tweaked it slightly and this is it - it was the Electronic preset. Let me know what you think of the difference and does it feel like a mastered track? I should add I lowered the stereo out volume by 5.5db prior to mastering and reduce the threshold in Ozone so that the Loudness wasn't ear splitting, which is why they both sound about the same level. There are other plugins on this track, which help to boost the volume of the overall track - this is more for the clarity and whether you can tell there is a difference. https://soundcloud.com/moodman-1/glass-master-09032017-1413
  8. Hey peeps so I'm completely new to this forum (and really to music composing in general), so I thought I'd post something to get some feedback. This is my first "real" song I've written, and I've based it off what I know about music theory and choral music. I have no idea if its any good at all, I just kinda went for it. Any and all critique is welcome, because I don't know what I'm doing and I need to know if what I'm writing makes any sense. The recording is entirely synthesized in SATB and I've got no lyrics, but I'll work on that later.
  9. Hey guys this is a song I call Figure it Out. I'd really appreciate some constructive criticism!! You say that you're so incredible I figured out that you're really not that cool Over and over I fall for the same mistakes I say that I'm too afraid to love You ignored my words to release the doves Over and over I fall for the same mistakes And I Want to believe in you I want to believe your words are really true I don't understand what love is Why do sparks fly when we kiss? I'll figure it out I'll figure it out You say that your armor's laid down So we can be safe and sound I'll figure it out I'll figure it out somehow Time flies when you're having too much fun In the end, we all see the same sun Over and over I see things in different lights Yesterday, the present, future Is it love just waiting to burn? Over and over I see things in different lights And I Want to believe in us I want to believe in you, I can fully trust But I don't understand what love is Why do sparks fly when we kiss? I'll figure it out I'll figure it out You say that your armor's laid down So we can be safe and sound I'll figure it out I'll figure it out somehow Tell me how to love like you Tell me that your heart is true This love isn't fading to grey Because the colors are here to stay I now understand what love is Sparks fly whenever we kiss I've figured it out I've figured it out My armor is laid down Now we are safe and sound I figured it out I figured it out somehow
  10. Two more lies for my own crowd Another shade just to make it right I just wanna show them what I'm like (What I'm really like) Hurry up this is my good side Face muscles getting tired now, working against myself I could use a good cry All this faking is making me so sad Look at them she's head over heels for him I wish you were like that I wish I was like that Blame it on this day and age That's ironic cause I'm fake I live my life being jealous of the things you think I am Feeling great, just made some salat for my vicious life Still working on next verse Any critique is highly appreciated
  11. I push aside my worries And think of sadness And the fact that my own madness Gives construction work a persona. I see the sky, Shaded in just right To me its the perfect place to sleep But to them its the perfect place to die. I stare out to the city and smile Meanwhile The red lights glow from the cranes Like eyes Straining to see past the clouds The music gets louder and louder The Perfect Kiss You should hear the extended mix We cross the bridge And the time with my dad counts down, But it's looking down While we speed by Thats making me feel nauseous. It's mundane To say the least But there isn't much more That I can say I haven't done much So when something Isn't daily It becomes exciting. So when I get to sleep in And I can sing out To a house with no one But the cat To judge the howling Suddenly That freedom becomes frightening. Hear me For once Let me Be enough Hear me For once Let my life Be enough Hear me For once Let me Be enough Hear me For once Let my life Be enough
  12. So I made this in like three days. The original was just the bass-line. I really liked the drum and bass-line combo just by themselves, but I knew it wouldn't be any kind of a "song" if I didn't add a melody. So I came up with something this morning. My way of writing is to start with a drumbeat, and then improvise a couple of possibilities for a bass-line. After picking the one I like, I improvise a melody over it, and then tidy stuff up. Since, unlike most "pop" music, improvisation features heavily in my music, it was a surprise when someone commented that I "definitely needed" more variety in my melody. He said that about two different things I wrote! This was one of them. The piece was just the bass-line. Kindly tell me if you think my bass-line is something that "definitely" needs more variety. I thought it was varied enough! Additionally, I don't really know what I'm doing - I just improvise on the MIDI keyboard, and then "improvise" a structure on top of that. So if you have any advice for me, kindly share. At this stage, I guess I'm trying to write as much as I can, as quickly as possible, so I haven't really taken the time aside to learn how to properly put together a song. Something that I think, in retrospect, sounds somewhat similar in... I dunno, "cheerfulness" is Four Tet's remix of "Carmella", originally by Beth Orton. If you have any songs or artists you think I should listen to for inspiration and/or guidance, please share. Cheers! - Hassan funk1.1.mp3
  13. Updated Mix 7-7-16: Here is my first song post up for critique (a internet collaboration song I wrote / produced / mixed). I'm new here so I will go back a bit on this thread to listen and comment. A Moment of Silence: Verse 1 I'm the curve in the road You don't slow down for the wrong turns Heart shaped like pen You write goodbye with Without caution And now I rust like an old nail Once driven, sharp and driven Pre-Chorus Wait for me Wait for me Verse 2 If I go to heaven It won't be long Before I fall for an angel star Life it spins and rewinds We press the volume for the sound to ring true Now all I trust is an old nail Now broken, bent and weathered Chorus Wait for me Wait for me I'm losing faith Bridge I'm crumbling under the weight of the stone And now I'm getting loaded I can't carry no more No more Outro Wait for me I stumbling sober Wait for me I'm losing faith
  14. Please critique my song that I wrote when my father passed away recently...it's a rough draft and is changing constantly. I recorded it with my laptop's built in mic, so the quality is not good, but I am in the process of trying to aquire some decent recording equipment. I never have really sang or played much in front of people, so a little nervous I guess. Just want to get some unbiased feedback on my voice really, lol...be honest though!! Thanks! Here are the lyrics: Sometimes I think of life And how it can be so tough Sometimes I ask God why Then I realize Jesus, I need you I can't stand on my own Jesus, I need you I can't make all alone My Father died in my arms I can't explain that pain How can I move on I just fall down and pray Jesus, I need you I can't stand on my own Jesus, I need you I can't make all alone The river will never be the same He always tied his Grandkid's hooks Played his guitar by the fire While he gave us silly looks Jesus, I need you I can't stand on my own Jesus, I need you I can't make all alone Fishing Pole Cane Man That's what some kids named him He always had it in his hand I really miss that man Jesus, I need you I can't stand on my own Jesus, I need you I can't make all alone Jesus, I thank you I'm glad my Dad is there with you Jesus, I thank you I'm glad my Dad, he's there with you
  15. Any critique would be great, just got this song on a whim. He Is a cashier on Mondays On Tuesdays he works at the mall Trying to Sell his perfect excuses Wrapped up in a bow all day long Wednesdays He's a tutor for kids Who can't appreciate his help Thursdays He volunteers at the park To pick up trash that people won't pick up themselves But Fridays He's a whiz on the guitar At home He can lay out his heart Strings Strings He can let go Strings Strings He can control Strings Strings And he coasts He Is all straight A's Because he needs to be They say That freedom comes with A small fee So He's varsity In every way Takes His trophies In a state of dismay But Friday's He's a whiz on the guitar At home He can lay out his heart Strings Strings He can let go Strings Strings He can control Strings Strings And he coasts Chorus again
  16. Hey guys, any critique is helpful. Title: You and I Verse 1 You were my best friend Ever since the day we met And I would love you for the rest of my life Though I didn't know it yet Verse 2 As time went past My whole life grew Into knowing and keeping You Bridge 1 I was the girl next door And even when you had a boyfriend And I tried to move on Bridge 2 We were only focused on each other And when other people didn't work out At least those were obstacles gone Chorus So you let me hold you tight In the middle of the night Because these sheets won't warm themselves Chorus And you let me barricade Against bad thoughts when they'd invade Our space is closely held Because you know love can't save itself. Verse 3 You and I Are so intertwined Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm just too wrapped up in these vines. Verse 4 As time went past My whole life grew Into obsessing over You. Bridge 3 I was the girl you loved And even when I couldn't breathe And I tried to move on Bridge 4 You would give me a look And I'd break down At least that was an obstacle gone Chorus 3 So you let me hold you tight In the middle of the night Because these sheets won't warm themselves. Chorus 4 And you let me barricade Against bad thoughts when they'd invade Our space is closely held Repeat Choruses again Outro You know love can't save itself.
  17. Title: You and I Verse 1 You are my best friend Ever since the day we met And I would love you for the rest of my life Though I didn't know it yet Verse 2 As time went past My whole life grew Into knowing and keeping You Bridge 1 I was the girl next door And even when you had a boyfriend And I tried to move on Bridge 2 We were only focused on each other And when other people didn't work out At least those were obstacles gone Chorus So you let me hold you tight In the middle of the night Because these sheets won't warm themselves Chorus And you let me barricade Against bad thoughts when they'd invade Our space is closely held Because you know love can't save itself. Verse 3 You and I Are so intertwined Sometimes I wonder if maybe I'm just too wrapped up in these vines. Verse 4 As time went past My whole life grew Into obsessing over You. Bridge 3 I was the girl you loved And even when I couldn't breathe And I tried to move on Bridge 4 You would give me a look And I'd break down At least that was an obstacle gone Chorus 3 So you let me hold you tight In the middle of the night Because these sheets won't warm themselves. Chorus 4 And you let me barricade Against bad thoughts when they'd invade Our space is closely held Outro You know love can't save itself.
  18. Window Shoppers Verse 1 Sometimes I wonder to myself But I don't say my thoughts out loud I'm scared they'll put me on the shelf But I'm still trying to get down Chorus I've heard what the cool kids said The boys want me and the girls wanna be me But they want my body, not my head Window shoppers, that's all they'll ever be Verse 2 At times my daydreams last for hours Time to me means nothing But all of the time in the world will be ours If you give me a sign, give me something Chorus I've heard what the cool kids said The boys want me and the girls wanna be me But they want my body, not my head Window shoppers, that's all they'll ever be Bridge But it's not just them now I rarely ever say my thoughts out loud It's everyone now They're all the same face in the crowd Chorus I've heard what they all have said The boys want me and the girls wanna be me But they want my body, not my head Windows shoppers, that's all everyone will be
  19. In the deep deep forest Is where the crossroad came My worries could not be put to rest I was consumed by fame The fortune was my one interest No matter if what awaited me was the flame With no detour I was lead an alternate way The beast had cowered away once more In time with no delay I began my grand adventure May the gods forever remember this day
  20. I'm not sure if this is the right thread. If not please let me know.Anyways I'm no writer though I am your closet singer in my hour long drives to the office. Anyways over the past few days a couple lyrics came to me. Now after I've completed the meat of it I realize there is a very popular song that has some similar lyrics. Of course this is bound to happen as we are all influenced by culture around us and that has a profound impact on us subconsciously. My question is how similar can two different works be without it being considered plagiarism? Anyways I'll post the lyrics here.So the basis is that it's a love song in reverse. It will be tough without any way of showing the Tempo, tune, ect. But I guess You'll have to imagine.-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------I'll always remember the sound of your voice - When you said I don't want you anymoreI'll always remember the look on your face - When you stared blankly to the floorAnd you've broken me - I'll never be the same -- I'm lost without youFacing the darkest thoughts all alone on the roadEmpty seat next to me and our songs on the radioI just want to turn the wheel - But I don't have the strengthLooking back at all the liesFor all the effort I all but diedBut you don't even care - you don't know what to say - you're not the same person anymoreAnd you've broken me I'll never be the same - I'm lost without you.(Something needs to go here)I'll always remember the sound of your voice - When you whispered in my ear ... I love youI'll always remember the look on your face - When you said .. I'll marry you.And I'll Never be the same - I'm found with youAnd I'll never be the same-----------------------------------------------------------------------There are various songs that use the words "I'll never be the same. But mine doesn't match them in melody or tone. It's in fact not the focus until the last two. It's more of a long "You've BROOOOOOOOKEN Me and I'll never be the Sayaame." Sorry that's the best way I could think to write it.Where as at the end it's "And iiiiiiiiiiiiii'lll Never be the Sayaaame"Anyways tell me what you think as far as origionality as I know we've all told jokes, or wrote lyrics, ect, where somebody beat us to the punch line. Like I said I'm not a writer, so I don't know how to write down melodies, tune, ect. But still feel free to critique me and make any recommendations for improvements. This is literally like two days of making stuff up in the car so I'm still refining it here and there.
  21. My Bloon Beacon (inspired by Bloons Monkey City) My bloon beacon, my bloon beacon, my bloon beacon,HALT..... mr hobbs cant catch me, dur nur nur nur nur nur nur nur nur dur, dur nur nur nur nur nur nur nur nur dur, dur nur nur nur nur nur nur nur nur dur, dur nur nur nur nur nur nur nur nur dur....... cheap and nasty......... JOHN, GET OFF... THA GAAAMMMEESSS!!!! AAAMMMAAZZZIINNNNGGG GRAAAAAAACCCCCCCCSSSUUURREEEEEEE!!!!
  22. read description id like to know how you think i can improve. critique everything
  23. https://soundcloud.com/aloproductionz/i-remember
  24. https://soundcloud.com/michaelstovallmusic/waiting-on-somethingfinal-mix * Last mix for this one Hey guys, Hearing Hobo's excellent music/song this afternoon inspired me to go back and discover some music I had laying around (thanks David!). I always liked this music but I never had lyrics for it, so I scribbled down some words to sing as a guide track. My dream would be for someone to take this music and make a great song out of it with different lyrics and a melody of their own. I also plan to add something to this outro...just not sure what. Anyway, I'd love to hear any thoughts you may have on this one (music/mix/improvements) Thanks everyone! Lyrics She took it in stride like a champion As I was on the move for a while She stood in the doorway like a ghost in my mind wearing her favorite shirt from our time sometimes I feel like an old shoe or maybe a bottle thats lost out at sea you can call it what you want, call it blasphemy Im gonna call it the death of a catastrophe Im waiting on something, yeah yeah yeah I feel she's a bluebird and I'm an avalanche and I'm making my way downtown If you said you knew me, baby you'd be lying I bet you couldnt recognize me now
  25. Hey guys, I've been working on a master for this song for a few days, but I'd love to hear some of your thoughts on the mix with fresh ears. I've been going back and forth between levels of compression and trying to get the bass line to sit in the mix. I want the song to sound a little darker. Too much compression? Too much low end? Any help would be great. -Michael Lyrics: She slid past me in the morning just before the sun began to break Theres too much confusion in my own mind Im not sure how much more I can take and there's dark clouds all around me now yeah there's a shadow on my right side I remember a time when it didn't move so fast I remember a time when I felt alright Chorus: Everything looks the same when you're the one standing still the moons gonna rise over Minor Hill She sat in the car listening to her favorite songs She looked at me and she turned away she's got the only number I can remember by heart I'm too scared to use it anyway