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Found 124 results

  1. Everyday Moments by Patty Lakamp. Let us know what you think. The lyrics are posted below. Thanks, Moptop Everyday Moments Patty Lakamp © Copyright 2017 I lost my mother years ago But she was here today Standing right beside me As I put the towels away It shook me for a second, but I enjoyed the memory Just that simple moment brought my mother back to me Chorus: Everyday moments The ones we replay Everyday moments Carry Love’s DNA She lives inside my heart now A sad but pleasant ache Her notes on the recipe When I make her favorite cake Chorus: Everyday moments The ones we replay Everyday moments Carry Love’s DNA Bridge: I used to think memories had to be planned A party or fancy affair But the best ones of all just happen In the everyday moments we share Chorus: Everyday moments The ones we replay Everyday moments Carry Love’s DNA On days I long to turn back time I sit in her favorite chair And reflect on everyday moments She and I have shared Chorus: Everyday moments The ones we replay Everyday moments Carry Love’s DNA
  2. Hello everyone, I completed this song a few days ago but I am wondering if I did a myself a disservice by essentially leaving the low end pretty sparse and not having much bass content. Is it always necessary to have it? Any feedback is appreciated thank you
  3. Everyday Moments

    Another great song by Patty Lakamp. The link to the finished song is in the Song Critique section of this forum. Thanks for looking. Moptop Everyday Moments Patty Lakamp © Copyright 2017 I lost my mother years ago But she was here today Standing right beside me As I put the towels away It shook me for a second, but I enjoyed the memory Just that simple moment brought my mother back to me Chorus: Everyday moments The ones we replay Everyday moments Carry Love’s DNA She lives inside my heart now A sad but pleasant ache Her notes on the recipe When I make her favorite cake Chorus: Everyday moments The ones we replay Everyday moments Carry Love’s DNA Bridge: I used to think memories had to be planned A party or fancy affair But the best ones of all just happen In the everyday moments we share Chorus: Everyday moments The ones we replay Everyday moments Carry Love’s DNA On days I long to turn back time I sit in her favorite chair And reflect on everyday moments She and I have shared Chorus: Everyday moments The ones we replay Everyday moments Carry Love’s DNA
  4. [Work in progress!] I'm really trying to make improvements on my songwriting skills, lyrics and rap delivery. The final version will not have me in it. Please focus on: -lyrics -how it might sound with a professional rapper -maturity and relevance of the song compared to current trend -delivery -melody etc... Verse1] Been around the Globe couples times, and once more If you don't believe me then, you can check my Visa. I’ve seen the good and bad, witnessed the rich and poor World full of preachers, but not enough teachya.s People strap c4s, when all their beliefs are shaken to the core. I know what it's like to be sidelined, in the bleacha Think about millennium, we should of voted al-gore Wrong choices, like the leaning tower of Piza How many hood niggas have to die, Tell me How many hood mamas have to cry For these youngbloods in the hood to realize Why the coppers want you to stay on that side They wanna prove their aim or ego, if you don’t comply, You aint no pharoah, you cant take that when u die. And Politicians, they don’t want you seeing the Sunrise, Didn't you know? they the ones who planned the crack rise? Hook] I pray for god, but i can’t help feelin jaded, I can’t help, that im running outta patience, I guess im just tryna better my-self Im waiting on my salvation. Thank you very much for your critique! the harsher the better! Lets get to it!
  5. Like That Carrie Underwood Song

    Would you want me if I were skinnier Prettier, brainier, funnier? Bet you’d still want her I can change my look Get more into books Paint my nails, dye my hair Carefully choose what to wear But for real who cares You think I need you? Please you wish that were true Going around saying I'm obsessed with you? You think I'm crying over you? boo hoo You know what? f*ck you! You were just a waste of my time Why settle for a penny when I can get a dime? f*ck, I could get a mili if I wanted Thats what you get for taking me for granted And all those days I spent alone When you should have been blowing up my phone With heart eye emojis and shit Man I thought you were it But I guess we all make mistakes One of us had to hit the brakes How'd you do that though? You decided to cheat on me with some blonde hoe Worthless is what you are Hope you don’t mind that I keyed your car Like that Carrie Underwood song I’ll save some trouble for the next girl you do wrong
  6. This ain't really my genre but was experimenting with GarageBand and thought it was OK. OK, now I'll brace myself for the feedback. Thanks for listening
  7. I can't lie to you Hell I’d even die for you Broke down in your old corolla I’d drive miles so they don’t tow ya Next thing, you up and vanish You gotta know that you left your baggage Right on my shoulders Im about to panic You left me here you drove me manic Ive got to go to therapy now You broke your promise, you broke your vow How could you just up and leave Without a goodbye up your sleeve You promised me things Things I can't ever receive Now that you're gone from me f*ck you even left your family What kind of man can that be Now you probably off fornicating On some wild vacation Getting with a girl who said she's Haitian But at the end of the night When things are going right I hope then you’ll see You’ll never find a woman as great as me
  8. Hey everyone! This is a new track that I produced for some people that I've worked with before. I would love to get opinions on and crtique on it from the people on this forum because it's the best way for me to learn things and make improvements.
  9. Hello everyone This is a track that I recently produced for a friend to rap on. I would love to hear your thoughts on it
  10. Glimpse Of My Life-AP

    I just dropped this sick rap on #Rapchat. I call it 'Glimpse Of My Life- AP' listen here: http://rapch.at/stbg/Dt2QdtDvvD
  11. Daily- Critique wanted

    Hey everyone! This is a song I made with a friend recently and I would love some critique on it. She wrote majority of the lyrics but I did assist with some of the lyrics so I'm just looking for critique on the lyrics and the song as a whole. Thank you DAILY LYRICS Oh Oh Daily Every morning you walk these streets Read the paper, frown, curse, repeat Daily Get some coffee while you answer the phone Boss is calling says you’re taking so long Daily You’re just halfway through the A.M. And already you've been hating everything But it’s in you, it’s in you How you'll roll through the day How you gonna roll through your day You're looking for the light at the end of the tunnel Just break down the walls and ceiling Yeah leave Leave whenever you want Try to reach for the brakes, life is moving too fast Go on take over the wheel But don't you know You’ve been driving all along Every morning you walk these streets Try to whistle, nod, smile, repeat Daily Phone is ringing, it’s your favorite song Grab some coffee while you hum along Daily Not just walking, now you're skipping Never mind the people looking Pointing at you Yeah it’s in you, it’s in you How you'll roll through the day How you gonna roll through your day You're looking for the light at the end of the tunnel Just break down the walls and ceiling Yeah leave Leave whenever you want Try to reach for the brakes, life is moving too fast Go on take over the wheel But don't you know You’ve been driving all along Yeah it’s in you, it’s in you How you'll roll through the day How you gonna roll through your day It’s in you, it's in you How you'll roll through your day
  12. Grand Oak Tree

    Not many words but it fills my new song and I'd like to keep it minimal and to the point. Question: "dwell ON or IN the past", it seem to work either way? Cheers, Geir Grand Oak Tree GER(c)2017 I have no plans for tomorrow and I don't dwell on the past I try to live in the moment, life is moving too fast I trust no so-called leaders, I seek no higher ground But I believe in the people and the world turning 'round I've found my spot in the shade, under a Grand Oak Tree It's been there for many years and it will outlive you and me You think you know all the answers and you know right from wrong Too shame you're such a fool, too shame you're in my song I've found my spot in the shade, under a Grand Oak Tree It's been there for many years and it will outlive you and me
  13. The Storm

    So, another love story. Please have a read and tell me what you think of it. Also look at the word 'goof', does it make sense to you? To me goof is something dark .. a chill or something abstract.. Cheers, Geir The Storm GER(c)2017 She said she loved me I loved her too But love became hate out of the blue She sometimes broke things records and stuff I said I hated her just as much A touch on my shoulder a kiss on my neck I tried to stay cool but I was a wreck Oh love We started out so nice like lovers do A roof and a bed and a blind cat called Lou Living on white bread and the cheapest wine It's hard to believe but we made it just fine Then came the storm and ripped off the roof Blew out delusions and let in the truth Oh love Goodbye 'miss trouble' we have come to an end The wind won't blow our way Even the blind cat found a new trace We both knew he wouldn't stay
  14. You'll Be On My Mind

    Hey So, I'm writing one of my first song and I need some feedback of this chorus that I wrote. Any constructive criticism is welcome and needed. Thanks! You’ll be on my mind (5) I need time to unwind (6) ‘Cause that feeling that I find (7) You know it makes my heart go blind (8) You’ll be on my mind (5) I need time to unwind (6) ‘Cause that feeling that I find (7) You know it makes my heart go blind (8)
  15. Vice

    These are some funk/rnb/fusion lyrics I wrote. I'd be thankful for any critique (tear me apart!). English is not my native language and it probably shows in my lyrics. I want to improve that. (A) He knows he has a habit But he doesn't care He slings enough product And has the money to share He never sleeps himself, Doesn't mind to pay He makes it rain in the club And snow in LA (B) He's a vice kinda guy Always up for a good time Yeah, a vice kinda guy And everything's just fine He's a vice kind of guy Can't say no to an invite He's a vice kind of guy And everything's alright (C) But when the sun rises And the DJ goes home When his friends scatter Leaving him all alone When there is nothing to take And no one to call These thoughts start rolling in He isn't happy at all (Instrumental riff) (A) She loves her body And those of others So why not use what go gave her To make some copper Never has to go home alone As long as she's in the mood And has party favours at hand To forget if she's not She loves her body And those of others Why not make some money under the covers Never has to go home alone As long as she’s willing Takes party favors if not Her guy takes care of the billing (B) She's a vice kinda girl Always up for a good time Yeah, a vice kinda girl And everything's just fine She's a vice kind of girl Can't say no to an invite She's a vice kind of girl And everything's alright (C) But when the sun rises And the DJ goes home When her friends scatter Leaving her all alone When there is nothing to take And no one to call These thoughts start rolling in She isn't happy at all (Instrumental riff)
  16. World Going Wrong

    Here are my lyrics for a slow and dark stoner rock song. Please let me know what you think of it. World Going Wrong GER(c)2017 It's us or them, he spit the words out of his mouth, it will spread like a disease And with the good Lord by our side we'll bring 'em down, down, to their knees So here we are, all over again, man fighting man, man fighting man Ten thousand soldiers out marching the streets, shut your windows, shut your door The taste of blood is like heroin, give me more, give me more, give me more So here we are, all over again, man fighting man, man fighting man World going wrong, world going wrong, raise your flag cause world going wrong World going wrong, world going wrong, raise your flag cause world going wrong
  17. Inside Your Game

    Hello! This is the 10th iteration of my previous attempts to write a song. I am not a native English speaker so please help me to check if what I am on right now is OK to use in my song. I wanted also to thank everyone who helped me to get to this point of this song version! Those people that offered their comments and critique on previous versions. I hope you could hand me a hand one more time. ====================================== *** Inside Your Game *** Verse 1 Call me, please call me, haul me out the jail I'm in to I'm so tired, tired of watching time, while darkness grows through Play me, like I have no name, frame me inside your game Lie to me, lie but stay with me, you know, I'll never complain Refrain 1 I try again... to get to you but you're starting to play, you're starting to play And though there was no one who won in this game I'm still gonna play the same I try again... thoughts are flying away with no sign of regret with no reason to stay Want them to break free and get out, I don't care while you're still around Verse 2 Days stretching, days get longer, I'm longing to catch sight of you The feeling like storm grows stronger, its wrong and it's past due Bridge Out of my mind! Truth or lie? I have no clue. Are you on my side or am I left behind? It's so uncertain. I can't get close to you Refrain 2 I try again... to get to you but you're starting to play, yeah you're starting to play I know there was no one who won in this game I'm still gonna play the same I try again... thoughts are flying away with no sign of regret with no reason to stay Hoping to get to the firm ground. Lost or found? Ending Call me, I want you to call, my spirit burns, it needs to know I'm tired of being tired, I'm tired of sitting here and just watching time Forever no season lasts but never say never I don't want to know the score, I wanna be inside your game forevermore
  18. Without You

    Without You GER©2017 V1 You've heard me say this before You think it's nothing new But this time I mean for sure My heart belongs to you V2 Last night I walked for an hour Out in the pouring rain All I could think of was you You're sugar in my veins Chorus I have been laughing I have been crying No more denying The truth is I can't live without you V3 What if we met at La Belle Our little secret place I'll pick you up around 8 Just like in the days Break Remember baby where we used to sit It's in my mind 'till end of time
  19. Talk Talk Talk

    Talk Talk Talk GER©2017 V1 I have no feelings for you We hardly know each other You're not my type anyway So why d'you even bother V2 There is no chance in Hell You better cool it, baby It's anything but love It's just you feeling shady Chorus I may have kissed you Sure didn't mean to You only happened to Stand so f*cking close to me V3 I'm 'bout to walk outta here If you don't leave me first You talk talk talk too much You only make it worse Break Oh come on baby dry your eyes I'm pretty sure it's not the end of time
  20. Falling For You

    Hello Everyone! This is a recent collaboration I did with a soudcloud artist that I met a few weeks ago. I think it turned out pretty good, but I would love to get feedback from the more experienced producers here on this site.
  21. How To Breathe

    How To Breathe Verse Feels like I've been drowning, alone in this great sea Pushed out for being different, by ideal society. It's like calls of raging thunder, somehow never ends People talk,they keep on talking But I ain't hearing them. (ohh) Chorus They try to tell me how to breathe With my head beneath the sea why do they never let me be can't they see I wanna be free Verse The smell of the salty waters, the feeling of flaccid skin. People I've never met have, tried hard to cave me in. My eyes grab hold of the shoreline, and for once I feel assured. Then comes a foggy forecast. to bring to me bruises and sores (ohhh) Chorus They try to tell me how to breathe With my head beneath the sea why do they never let me be can't they see i wanna be free This is all I've come up with so far, no bridge to it.
  22. I Ain't Your Mama

    Hi. This is my first post, and I'd love to hear some feedback on my first song-writing attempt. It was inspired by how my husband says goodbye to me in the morning. I'm hearing it in the style of Miranda Lambert's "Gravity is a Bitch," with that old-timey saloon player piano. I Ain't Your Mama As the sun was coming up, he said goodbye To our son and to someone I didn't recognize It sounded like mama, but his mama is dead That left one women and she was still in bed. Now this girl here is the household prima donna That doesn't share her crown And is prone to psychodrama So I set off on a quest to fix this now Hearing something that just ain't allowed I flew out of bed as he walked out the door Cause this is something that can't be ignored And I grabbed his jacket as he got in his Honda Listen up bubba, I ain't your momma I ain't your mama You gotta get this straight Well, I might look like a feather weight But I'm gonna hafta beat you over the brow If you don't knock off this mama stuff Right now Having mama on your mind might help explain Why I've been feeling so mundane From planning all the dinners To trying to look slimmer It's no wonder why I've failed to deliver It's become such a drain It's driving me insane I’m your wife not your mother Your one and only lover While I don't mean to complain It's been a real pain Picking up all your messes And still having time for caresses At 4 am when I've barely slept An your pistol wants to stand erect If I had some help like a partner should I'd have more time to chop that wood So come and lend a hand Like you really are my man Let's tackle this together It's our shared endeavor I ain't your mama You gotta get this straight Well, I might look like a feather weight But I'm gonna hafta beat you over the brow If you don't knock off this mama stuff Right now Note: This works good in the key of A with A, E, D, G and there is one more that needs to go lower than E, but I'm not sure what it would be. All I can find that fits is the low E note.
  23. Thanks so much to all of you that helped on the last song I posted :)! I'm starting to attempt recording that one currently. I'm wondering if you guys have any advice/ critique on this one which is not nearly as finished, and I'm going to work recording without video once I get some advice. Particular with lyrics, and the Chord progression (if you can call it that), and the "chorus" if the guitar works, and generally if it sounds any good. The breaks between the lyrics are rough, and I'm not sure how I want to go about it. Any help, comments, and critique are appreciated (I don't have anything other than YouTube at the moment, and I'm not sure how to get an audio file on YouTube(with a picture in the background). That's why it's still a video.) Lyrics: You see me as a wounded dog Bleeding, flees in my paws Leading, seeping in your claws I'm so scared to leave my room Terrified that I might see you soon Dear I know It's not your fault You don't feel the way I do Or at least you don't want To Why'd ya Stay just long enough To make me feel the sting of loss I saw the sun bleeding blue this afternoon I couldn't help but to Wish you, to lay me in your lap Feel the touch of rain on your back to see your kind eyes facing back To Hear the way you breath in Dear I know It's not your fault You don't feel the way I do Or at least you don't want To Why'd ya Stay just long enough To make me feel the lack of your touch To make me feel like I was enough
  24. Crawling

    Hey guys, new song that came pretty fast tonight. The recording is very rough, may rerecord it. I would appreciate any feed back. Thanks
  25. Mercury leave

    I sing in the gold, I sing in the wind Mercury sapphire, mercury bin You float up the river you float, and you breathe mercury sunset, mercury leave the targets of laughter the women we creave ancient pull wonder furtive new beads I risk all the sunset I whisk you like leaves
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