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  1. I hear this song as kind of a country feel, with a driving beat. It's a bit tongue-in-cheek, but my girlfriends all love the concept of it. See what you think: “Just in Case” (Patty Lakamp) When love turns sideways and you’re feelin’ trapped A lack of cash can leave you handicapped Get some just-in-case money, just in case So you can buy your ticket out and start over again Your man keeps tellin’ you he’s workin’ late He’s dyein’ his hair and he’s losin’ weight Get some just-in-case money, just in case So you'll be the one lookin' good when you're makin' your break (Chorus) Just in case, just in case A woman needs her walkin’ money, just in case Stay in love if you can But play it smart and have a backup plan You need to make sure that you’ll be okay So take the time to plan your getaway Get some just-in-case money, just in case So you're not tied down to a life if you don't want to stay (Chorus) Just in case, just in case A woman needs her walkin’ money, just in case Stay in love if you can But play it smart and have a backup plan (Bridge) You need to invest for those times you detest Give yourself the latitude To grab your coat and hat-itude (Chorus) Just in case, just in case A woman needs her walkin’ money, just in case Stay in love if you can But play it smart and have a backup plan Patty Lakamp © Copyright 2017
  2. Hi, I'd love some feedback on this lyric. I've rewritten it a lot, and need some fresh eyes on it: “Girl Don’t Do It” (Patty Lakamp) There’s a secret I’ve been hiding This once I’ll lay it bare In the past when I was someone else I had an affair Now you’ve come to me for counsel Because you are where I was I’ve always loved you like a daughter And thank God I’ve earned your trust (Chorus) Girl don’t do it Find another way You'll live with this forever Think beyond today My confession is unnerving It still presents a threat But I fear you’re heading down the road To a lifetime of regret I can see you’re sorely tempted I’ll keep your confidence But you can’t hide secrets from yourself You’re the living evidence (Chorus) Girl don’t do it Find another way You'll live with this forever Think beyond today Here’s the fundamental question A lover or a wife? I chose not to be a woman who Carried on a double life So I keep this ugly secret I’m faithful to the core How will you answer the question That could haunt you evermore? (Chorus) Girl, don’t do it Find another way You'll live with this forever Think beyond today Patty Lakamp © Copyright 2017
  3. Hi, to those of you who offered such helpful critiques of this song. Here's another version, with different reasons in each verse for the friends parting. I also added a Bridge to give a new dimension to the message. I know that the structure of V-C-V-C-B-C is a standard one, but in this case, I have V-C-V-C-B-V-C. Is that weird or OK? If I need to take something out, should it be the Bridge or one of the Verses? I'd love your thoughts. It was a real benefit to hear so many insightful comments. Thanks! “Friendship Hurts If You Do It Right” (Patty Lakamp) V1 We were best friends all through grade school Brave explorers in the park Built a fort down by the river She was Lewis to my Clark Then my Daddy got a new job First time I’d encountered fate I learned something about friendships I did not anticipate (Chorus) Friendship hurts if you do it right Friends separate and it’s never the same The closer the friend, the deeper the pain But it’s part of life to start over again V2 I met Jennie as a freshman We shared books and boys and beer Listening to her secrets Was like looking in the mirror I thought we’d always be together Best friends just a hop away But life carried us down different roads I miss her every day (Chorus) Friendship hurts if you do it right Friends separate and it’s never the same The closer the friend, the deeper the pain But it’s part of life to start over again Bridge: Friendship brings sadness when friends have to part And starting again is incredibly hard But I give it my all in spite of the cost Over time I have gained so much more than I’ve lost V3 I’ve had coffee twice a week with Mary Ann for thirty years We’ve had every conversation About marriage and careers She’s the kind of friend who gets me It took years to build this trust Now she’s moving to Montana And I’m struggling to adjust (Chorus) Friendship hurts if you do it right Friends separate and it’s never the same The closer the friend, the deeper the pain But it’s part of life to start over again Patty Lakamp © Copyright 2017
  4. Hey guys, so this is my first time posting to this forum as well as my first attempt in writing a lyrics to a song, I will really appreciate some comments on what to improve (constructive critique) as well as if you like it. little by little day by day you saw my heart crumble into pieces nothing could be done to stop the pain my laughter became cries my smile became upside down my crying of joy became of pain you're the reason why i'm holding back Hold me in your arms and never let go your the reason why im stading here the reason why i havent let go whisper in my ear the words i never heard before give me the hug im looking for ease the pain that never leaves my side your the reason why i havent let go Days were shorter and nights were longer how i look for the confort you onces gave me the smile you brought to my face the twinkle in my eyes it seems that when you left you took that way too let me remember the memories the ones that held so much love the ones were you and me are one Hold me in your arms... just promise me you'll be back before my hearts breakes a little more just promise me youll be back before i decide to forget Hold me in your arms..... if you decide to leave i wish you well and joy if its not by my side the love your lookin for know your the reason why i havent let go
  5. Hey all. First time posting to this forum. This is the first full song I've ever written. It's about feeling like you've lost yourself, but knowing that the person you truly are is still inside you, your just going about finding that person in all the wrong ways. Got the lyrics down in about an hour, now working on a bluesy/country type arrangement to go along with them. Hopefully that gives you a little insight into how this reads in my head. Would love to know what y'all think. Find My Way Home I only like me drinking whiskey I only like me getting stoned And I can’t take to face the poor man Who’s been carrying this load Spend my days waiting for the nighttime Spends my nights searching my soul But it’s always a fool’s errand Because my soul is right at home Wake up lonely and hungover It’s a feeling I’ve come to know Can’t shake the fact something’s missing Like I don’t know which way to go I only like me drinking whiskey I only like me getting stoned And I can’t take to face the poor man Who’s been carrying this load It’s hard to lose something inside you In fact it’s never really gone So for now I’ll keep on searching Hopefully heading my way home God I hate drinking this whiskey God I hate getting so stoned And I’m getting so damn tired Of being the man carrying this load Won’t you lift me of these burdens God won’t you help me find my soul Because this weather’s getting rainy And I’d sure like to get home