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Worst Gig You Ever Played


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I haven't played many, but the second one I ever played was a complete shambles and a load of fun.

I was the lead 'singer' in my school punk band, 'The Rancid Vicars' who had played our first gig the Saturday night before - we were rather good. Having hired the equipment for a weekend we decided to get our money's worth and do another gig the next night. 200( :o) people bought tickets (the fools) to see us play a tiny dramastudio, painted black from ceiling to floor.

The afternoon before the gig we were approached by some guys who claimed to be a band called 'Bruce Pus and The Zit-squeezers' who wanted to be our support band. We made them audition. They played 2 songs, a cover of The Stranglers 'No More Heroes' and a self-penned composition ' F*** Off Mum'. They were terrible - so we said yes.

We lent them our guitars. This is OK as long as you check the tuning after they played. We didn't.

We came on stage in black suits and tshirts with detachable white shirt collars reversed so we looked like Vicars and we wore mirror shades just to set off the look. We launched into The Ramones 'Rockaway Beach'. The guitar was out of tune, my mike didn't work and neither did the spare. We tuned up and started again. The guitarist then broke 2 strings. We got the spare guitar and started again. The second guitar was out of tune. Disaster!

As we were a punk band the crowd did not seem to mind too much. We got better, but not much.

What have I learned? Don't lend other bands your equipment, check that everything works before you go on and, if you are a punk band, don't worry about being in tune!

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The 1st (unaccompanied) one was embarrassing. I had never sung in front of people before and was very nervous about it. To settle in, I played a lengthy instrumental introduction (3 minutes or thereabout) to Pretty Polly. Finally I sang the opening line and... stopped dead. I had forgotten the 2nd line and had to stop.

The last one (Saturday 24th July) could have been worse if I had my way. It was a wedding. This little kid kept invading the stage. I kept shooing him away as we were setting up (Im the nasty in the band). Later someone let him blather into one of the sax mics. It was the only one he could reach. By the time we were up and playing there was no stopping the little perisher. He pulled himself up, grabbed a tambourine, trod on my GT5 unit changing the guitar sound from clean accompaniment to balls out lead. Someone fetched him off, but within seconds he was back, robbed the drummer of one of his sticks, which buggered up the drums. He did this countless times. He was like greased lightning getting up on that stage. He made me too nervous to play well, I was watching him all the time. I could cheerfully have strangled the little sod. Turned out he was the brides son. Just as well I didnt then.  

Ive had a couple worse, but the memory is too painful...

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I think my worst gig was probably my first! I had been playing the guitar for only a few years when I started to roadie for some mates. there was some talk of the rythm guitarist leaving the band and I was asked to step in when he did.

3 days before New Years Eve 1976, I get a visit from Steve the Drummer. He asks me if I am still interested in joining the band? I say that yeah I am! He then tells me that Keith, the Lead guitarist, has broken two fingers on his left hand and won't be able to play New Years Eve!

So, not only do I have to learn the whole set in less than 3 days! I also have to learn how to play lead guitar...? :-/ Talk about pressure!

The night before the gig, the bass player gets a phone call informing us that the cabaret act has fallen seriously ill and is there any chance we could play an extra hour!!!!!!!!!

So we spend the last few hours before the gig learning some new numbers. The only thing that saved me from total destruction was the Lead guitarist actually got up with us and played a few solo's. I was much relieved until I turned and looked at him! He was as white as a sheet and about to pass out with the pain.

We did get through the night eventually! It remains the longest 4 hours of my life. I refused to go on for the encores! I was physicaly and mentaly drained. I joined the band about 4 weeks later and stayed with them in one guise or another for several years.

I don't ever remember having any nervous moments on stage after that night!...

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My third gig was 3 years after my second, described above.

I was living in Turin, Italy as a student and went to an arts centre where a solo acoustic guitarist was playing to a small audience. At that time I hadn't been playng long but was already writing my own songs. I had probably written 30 or 40 by this time but only two or three of those stand up to scrutiny now. But at the time I thought they were all good!

Having had a lot to drink, I didn't think much of the guitarist and figured I could do better. I volunteered my services to the organiser and we agreed that I would play three weeks hence.

In the morning it didn't seem such a good idea. I had never played live solo before and had not played in front of anyone very much. There followed three weeks of frenzied practice.

On the night I was very nervous but played, seated, for 45 minutes, exhausting my collection of self-penned and cover versions. There were about 30 people present who clapped politely after each song.

I retired to the bar, glad that it was over and that I had not screwed up. I gulped down a fair amount of alcohol as a reward.

A man approached me "A fan" I thought.

"So, what time does your second set start?"

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Hey

I've not played a gig that hasn't turned out well, but there have been a 'few' dodgy moments:

Picture the scene. Halfway through a set it's time for the slow thoughtful number. The song starts with a long-ish solo acoustic guitar, the tension builds, and then the vocals start. I'm half-way through the first line when ............................ the guitar strap breaks and the acoustic lands on the stage!

It late in the gig, down to the last few songs. We decide to play 'House of the Rising Sun' , the song's going well, and the crowd are gettting in to it. I reach for my guitar ready to smoothly go into the next track. I'm still holding the mike. Unfortunately the guitar is sitting in a small pool of beer (roadies huh?) and while singing the final note I'm getting an electric shock.... at least I held on till the end of the note.

;D

Cheers

John

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Wow John! Thats the scariest thing I've ever heard! PLaying House of the Rising Sun... ;D ;D ;D

A friend of mine used to run the local music shop. people would come in and pick up a guitar or bass and plug in and try it out. The youngsters used to come in and play House of the Rising Sun! It got to the stage where it was so unbareable, that this song was banned from the shop! A notice was pinned up to that effect and the youngsters that came in were devastated cause it was generally the only number they knew...  ;D ;D

[smiley=acoustic.gif]

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Hey

Well, shit happens. 8)

John

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in america it is "Stairway not allowed" refering to stairway to heaven NOT written by Led Zeppelin!!

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  • 1 month later...

the only time i tried to sing i got banned..from karaokie

the landlord said nigel i have never heard swear words like that..

me + a mate was trying to do guns n roses "paradise city"

have you seen them lyrics on screen....christ they are fast

so we improvised...yea with "f" words...lol

never hit a kariokkie night since

;D ;D ;D

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  • Noob

Great thread. I am enjoying the stories.

Here is one, that was a bit un-nerving. It was the early 80's. I got a call from an old band member to play keyboards with his new band for just one show.

The band had a singer named Kevin, who, while a great singer, had a major problem. He got extremely nervous before any show he ever did.

On this particular night, he got so nervous he got the runs prior to the show and ran into a men's room. He was gone so long, one of the guys went in to check on him. He was still sitting on the throne with his drawers around his ankles. When his bandmate came in to check on him he got a spasm and threw up in his shorts.

What a mess.

The show did go on...and Kevin was great....but not before we we went to a nearby store and bought him new shorts and trousers.

On another note...I hope I will be able to get back to visit this site. Hurricane Frances is due here tomorrow and we have been told to evacuate. Everyone in this part of the country is hoping they will have a place to come home to when it is all over.

Eddie

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Good Luck Eddie, nice story too, funny stuff

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I got this story of Mudcat.org.

"Hi gang. So here's what happened: last weekend, I was booked to do four shows over two days at a Celtic festival at a pioneer re-creation village. I was on a side stage in a barn, a little off the beaten track to the mainstage.

Three of the shows went well. Nobody's heard of me, but I was able to draw in people who heard the music while walking around the village - or who liked my description in the program, I guess.

But during one of the shows it was raining hard. And nobody came. And no MC or sound guy there to discuss it with - I'm alone in the barn.

So I wasn't sure what to do. I would have felt pretty foolish going ahead with the planned show - and if somebody did eventually come by and stick their head in, they'd probably think I was crazy, performing as if there were an audience. On the other hand, I was scheduled and paid to play that hour and it didn't seem right to just cancel it either. Unless I were to tell the booker to just pay me 75% of the fee we had agreed on, which I suppose I could have done, but I sure didn't want to.

So my question is: what would you have done in this situation - or what did you do if you've experienced something similar?

What I did: deciding that the only thing sillier than performing for an empty room was performing for an empty room through a PA system, I unplugged, took a chair to the doorway of the barn, and played my fiddle in the doorway so I'd be providing some ambiance for anyone who did happen to be wandering the streets."

Any of you guys ever played to a (near) empty room?

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