21 replies to this topic

[RobAsh15]

Listen on Soundcloud.com


Capm, from The Muse's Muse, wrote this, and posted it a couple of weeks ago on that site. This is a straight up, straight to the point, bar room rocker. You'll either dig it or you won't.

Capm and I decided to give a collaboration a try. He wrote this, did the instrumentation and backing voc's... I sang the lead, and mixed/mastered this.

I think it sounds pretty good.

What do you think?

LYRICS:

TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT


Hey baby you look so fine
Look into my eyes can you read my mind
I think you're sexy let me make that clear
I think that's me talking and not my beer

I think you know what I want to do
I can see me laying on top of you

Come on baby tell me what you want
Come on baby won't you tell me blunt

Hey baby you look so hot
I'll give you everything I got
You can tell me now don't be shy
I'm your fantasy so give me a try

Don't miss on this opportunity
I can see you laying on top of me

Come on baby tell me what you want
Come on baby won't you tell me blunt

Hey baby bare your soul
Come home with me and lose control
Common honey won't you call my bluff
You and me, we'll be in the buff

Come on baby tell me what you want
Come on baby won't you tell me blun

Hye baby, you know what'd look good on you?
Me...

You know you hair, and my pillow
are perfectly color coordinated

Hey, is that dress felt?
Would you like it to be?

That's a nice dress
It would look great on my floor


Before anyone says anything, I should say upfront that the dweeby spoken lines at the end are intentional... if the guy sounded like a vicious babe magnet, it wouldn't make a lot of sense that he'd use snarky pick up lines like these, now would it?

[McnaughtonPark]

Perhaps a moderator could move this to the song critique forum?

Cheezy line part is great. Heard this one a week ago,

I put the STD in stud, all i need is you

Sounds great to me Rob, back in the day style of hard rock.

Rock On

Edited by McnaughtonPark, 18 January 2012 - 07:47 PM.

[RobAsh15]

McnaughtonPark, on 18 January 2012 - 07:40 PM, said:

Perhaps a moderator could move this to the song critique forum?

Cheezy line part is great. Heard this one a week ago,

I put the STD in stud, all i need is you

Sounds great to me Rob, back in the day style of hard rock.

Rock On

lol.... did I post this in the wrong forum???....sheesh....

[Mahesh]

This was a topic that came up when i was ill!Just missed it! Im very sorry to not have seen this earlier than now. Moved

[Mahesh]

Hard rock indeed. You have an awesome voice Rob! I would enjoy my drink so much more if I heard this one on there.
"Hey, is that dress felt?
Would you like it to be?"
Brilliant!
Personally,I craved for a little more guitar solo,maybe coming back in the background during "Hey,is that...." till the end.

Anyways,loved what you guys have done here,
Very much enjoyed the listen,
Cheers,
Mahesh

[iamwhoiam1970]

I sortta critiqued this in another place on the net, but I'll do it again here, cuz I can

Man Rob, you can flat out sing!

This IS a fun song, excellent groove, energy, and your singing really brought the song home(I never heard the original - but I can say, your voice/singing is PERFECT for this song).

Some of the lines made me laugh..I could just picture me....errr....oops, I mean "someone" saying those cheesy lines

[RobAsh15]

Mahesh, on 22 January 2012 - 06:29 AM, said:

Hard rock indeed. You have an awesome voice Rob! I would enjoy my drink so much more if I heard this one on there.
"Hey, is that dress felt?
Would you like it to be?"
Brilliant!
Personally,I craved for a little more guitar solo,maybe coming back in the background during "Hey,is that...." till the end.

Anyways,loved what you guys have done here,
Very much enjoyed the listen,
Cheers,
Mahesh

Thanks, Mahesh... I've been sick as two dogs all this week too. So no prob on the miss. Thanks for the move. And I appreciate the kind words. Cap had to write a pretty stong little rocker for me to belt it like I dd, Mad props to him for the core idea and some really solid guitar work.

Edited by RobAsh15, 22 January 2012 - 07:10 PM.

[RobAsh15]

iamwhoiam1970, on 22 January 2012 - 06:39 AM, said:

I sortta critiqued this in another place on the net, but I'll do it again here, cuz I can

Man Rob, you can flat out sing!

This IS a fun song, excellent groove, energy, and your singing really brought the song home(I never heard the original - but I can say, your voice/singing is PERFECT for this song).

Some of the lines made me laugh..I could just picture me....errr....oops, I mean "someone" saying those cheesy lines

Once again, Eddy, I am grateful for the kind words... thanks bro.

[OriginalPhil]

Hi Rob,
I'm pretty new to songwriting and critiquing, so take my critique with a grain of salt.

This is an AWESOME track, and doesn't take itself too seriously despite that (I got a good chuckle from the outro lol). It's a very slick production that still keeps it's authentic rock feel. The lows, mids and highs are all clear without clashing. Also, I noticed that the reverb is full without sounding muddy at all (not an easy task, I've tried and failed).

The singing is top notch as well. I listened to this song four times, and with each listen had to ask myself, "I've heard of Sammy Hagar and David Lee Roth, why have I never heard of Rob?"

I tried to listen for anything that could "improve" this track, but came up with nothing. It's hard to believe that you guys haven't been working together for years (or have you?!). You have a good thing here. Thanks for posting this.

[andy5544work]

Great song , great as is, and needs nothing doing to it , good to see others on here not taking the whole music thing too seriously , this song is in the same category as the one i put on here called "Rockers Perks" tongue in cheek sexist rock song
sort of thing you'd expect from spinal tap . brilliant vocals too. well done chaps.

[RobAsh15]

OriginalPhil, on 28 January 2012 - 06:37 PM, said:

Hi Rob,
I'm pretty new to songwriting and critiquing, so take my critique with a grain of salt.

This is an AWESOME track, and doesn't take itself too seriously despite that (I got a good chuckle from the outro lol). It's a very slick production that still keeps it's authentic rock feel. The lows, mids and highs are all clear without clashing. Also, I noticed that the reverb is full without sounding muddy at all (not an easy task, I've tried and failed).

The singing is top notch as well. I listened to this song four times, and with each listen had to ask myself, "I've heard of Sammy Hagar and David Lee Roth, why have I never heard of Rob?"

I tried to listen for anything that could "improve" this track, but came up with nothing. It's hard to believe that you guys haven't been working together for years (or have you?!). You have a good thing here. Thanks for posting this.

Phil, it took me WAY too long to get back to you on this.

Man..... Cap and I so totally appreciate the extremely kind words.

You'r right on it, bro. We did not want to take this too seriously. But, we wanted to do it as solidly as possible in all other ways. Heck, I can remember so many radio hits from the 80's that we as raunchy or raunchier than this...

Anyways, dude, thanks for the props. Let us know when you post a tune and we'll make sure to try to lend a helping hand.

[IantheConway]

yeah, It totally reminds me of some awesome 80's hard rock tunes. I agree with Manesh that a little more solo would go a long way. the solo could be louder in the mix, too. also, maybe this idea's too cheesy, but adding a wah to the solo might sound great to. all in all, great song.

[RobAsh15]

IantheConway, on 03 February 2012 - 11:32 PM, said:

yeah, It totally reminds me of some awesome 80's hard rock tunes. I agree with Manesh that a little more solo would go a long way. the solo could be louder in the mix, too. also, maybe this idea's too cheesy, but adding a wah to the solo might sound great to. all in all, great song.

Thanks, buddy. We appreciate the feedback.

[Desertrose]

I'll be honest and say this is a far cry from the kind of music I choose to listen to, but I recall a few pubs back in the eighties where exactly this kind of song would be playing, loud,to a room full of mean looking biker dudes.
Exceptionally well produced, played and sung. You certainly have the voice for this genre.
Some of the lines made me wince a little, but hey it's all part of the "show".

Edited by Desertrose, 04 February 2012 - 02:11 PM.

[RobAsh15]

Desertrose, on 04 February 2012 - 02:01 PM, said:

I'll be honest and say this is a far cry from the kind of music I choose to listen to, but I recall a few pubs back in the eighties where exactly this kind of song would be playing, loud,to a room full of mean looking biker dudes.
Exceptionally well produced, played and sung. You certainly have the voice for this genre.
Some of the lines made me wince a little, but hey it's all part of the "show".

I've never heard a single song, in any genre, that appealed to everyone that listened to it...

I pretty much knew what I was getting into when I asked Cap if he wanted to let me take a shot at singing the tune. And that's all I did on this one. Cap had written, sung and performed a version of the song already, and I didn't change anything. I sang a lead vocal and remixed the tracks.

That said, I like the tune. It doesn't shatter any boundaries or establish a new sub genre, I'll grant you, but it isn't supposed to. As you mentioned, in the right venue, I would expect this to be well received. Although I wouldn't necessarily limit this to appealing to biker crowds. I think any crowd that was partying and having a good time would respond to this. Heck, even the younger set today still responds to Mony Mony, pretty much exactly the same way my generation did 25 years ago. I've worked county fairs and festivals in Texas in the recent past and seen it happen. Remember the crowd participation lines for that tune? ...pretty raunchy stuff, and I've seen everyone from 20 to 60 particpating when that tune is played.

So, my opinion is that a party rocker is a party rocker. I'd play this at any number of different rock clubs I've played in the last 5 or 6 years... or at a progressive country club... for bikers, obviously... at a beach club party... or at a festival or county fair.... I dunno. As long as it was an adult crowd, with the beer flowing and the atmosphere fun and loose, I'd think this tune would work ok.

I kind of also think it's a natual for a live show. I might give it a slightly different treatment on the lyrics if I was going to add this to a serious compilation. And of course, in this context, "serious" is a relative term....

Thanks for feeling it was worth your time to make any remarks at all, 'rose. I truly appreciate it. Cap and I are working on several tunes right now that are a little more... complex than this one. I sincerely hope you'll give them a listen and and chime in...

And besides... everyone could use a little brainless, purely for fun rock and roll every now and then....

It's good for the soul.

Edited by RobAsh15, 05 February 2012 - 11:26 PM.

[innerdream]

the voice is perfect - great 80's rock voice (sounds liek Geoff Tate from Queensryche to my ears)! the song really rocks guitars sound nice and big - only drawback for me is that the drums need to be a bit punchier, apart from that though great stuff. Really catchy songwriting as well - guitar solos smoke man! love the licks! Yeah can see the similarity to the Van Halen comments posted earlier - real good job here on this song

[RobAsh15]

innerdream, on 07 February 2012 - 06:45 PM, said:

the voice is perfect - great 80's rock voice (sounds liek Geoff Tate from Queensryche to my ears)! the song really rocks guitars sound nice and big - only drawback for me is that the drums need to be a bit punchier, apart from that though great stuff. Really catchy songwriting as well - guitar solos smoke man! love the licks! Yeah can see the similarity to the Van Halen comments posted earlier - real good job here on this song

Thanks!

[cman7812]

I'm still new to Songstuff so forgive me for chiming in so late on this topic...been trying to get my bearings! Bad ass throw back tune man!! def a bar room rocker tune as advertised. Excellent vox...gives off a Mark Farner vibe. Dig the subtle mood change from verse to chorus.

I'm not one to trust when discussing mixing but sounds clean to me...by that I mean nothing comes across as distracting or irritating...always a good thing...ha.

My only potentially negative comment would be that verse melodies don't vary much...they follow the same melodic pattern...not to a t...but almost. This is probably more of a personal preference than anything else but I'll put it out there anyway.

Good job bro...Gonna check out your other topics for sure.

[RobAsh15]

cman7812, on 08 February 2012 - 02:21 AM, said:

I'm still new to Songstuff so forgive me for chiming in so late on this topic...been trying to get my bearings! Bad ass throw back tune man!! def a bar room rocker tune as advertised. Excellent vox...gives off a Mark Farner vibe. Dig the subtle mood change from verse to chorus.

I'm not one to trust when discussing mixing but sounds clean to me...by that I mean nothing comes across as distracting or irritating...always a good thing...ha.

My only potentially negative comment would be that verse melodies don't vary much...they follow the same melodic pattern...not to a t...but almost. This is probably more of a personal preference than anything else but I'll put it out there anyway.

Good job bro...Gonna check out your other topics for sure.

Yo, cman.

Welcome to the boards, and thanks or tkain the time to check this little tune out.

Hey bro, not every tune cane be a world changer, ya know? We had fun with this, and I'm glad to see the folks here not tkaing it too seriously.

Hmm... as far as the verses go, that "pattern" you mention is totally inytentional. I do realize though, that everyone has their own tastes and preferences where music is concerned. If we didn't quite hit your button on this, maybe we'll grab you with the next tune. I also do work a solo one man band type thing. Maybe you'd care to check out this one:

http://forums.songst...__fromsearch__1

and give me your take on it. Soup to nuts, that tune is all me. Except for the most excellent lead track and solo, and a really cool FX track, which my good friend CapM laid down for me. I wrote it, sang it, laid out the drums, played rhythm guitar, bass, and mixed the tune.

All the points that have been brought up on the mix for Tell Me What You Want, including yours, are really helpful. Cap and I have decided to take one more run at this. I'm a little better at building midi drum tracks, so I'm gonna lay down some new drums for this, and we're going to re-record everything. He had another guy help him out on a guitar track, and I'm going to jump in on second guitar for the next version. I may also take a run at the bass. Cap will play rhythm one and lead guitar, and supply backing voc's.

I'm hoping the next mix will be fuller and more ballsy than this one. Don't get me wrong; I'll stand behind this mix. I think it sounds pretty good, and it's certainly good enough to let a listener just relax and enjoy the song. But I do think we can make it rock even more if we do it again.

So check back when we repost and let us now what you think.

You record and make songs, bro? If so, get something up and we'll hit you back.

Once again, welcome.

Edited by RobAsh15, 09 February 2012 - 04:03 AM.

[JanHutchinson]

This is great!!!!!!!! I don't mind the lyrics at all - I wouldn't expect any less from a rock band. It's all part of the fun anyway.