11 replies to this topic

[taviraman]

Hi this i my first post of lyrics. I would love an honest opinion from you.

The song is called "I will miss you more tomorrow"

I Will Miss You More Tomorrow
I will miss you more tomorrow than I missed you yesterday
I will hear your sweet sweet voice in my memory as it plays
I will see your reflection in the mirror in my mind
I will keep the powerful memories that you have left behind

Each day without your presence is a day without joy
That special bond of love between a mother and her boy
The hours that we spent talking of the things that made you glad
The times you needed comfort for the things that made you sad

I will miss you more tomorrow than I missed you yesterday
I will hear your sweet sweet voice in my memory as it plays
I will see your reflection in the mirror in my mind
I will keep the powerful memories that you have left behind

Although our time together was short in many ways
I treasure every second of those happy happy days
You brought a ray of sunshine to everyone you met
Your kindness and compassion they never will forget

I will miss you more tomorrow than I missed you yesterday
I will hear your sweet sweet voice in my memory as it plays
I will see your reflection in the mirror in my mind
I will keep the powerful memories that you have left behind

Just because we’re parted it doesn’t change a thing
I remember all the happiness and joy that you did bring
As you look down from the heavens on the friends you left behind
Remember always darling you’re forever on my mind

I will miss you more tomorrow than I missed you yesterday
I will hear your sweet sweet voice in my memory as it plays
I will see your reflection in the mirror in my mind
I will keep the powerful memories that you have left behind

©Cormac Wilson 15 January 2012

[Motivation]

This is beautiful !!!!!!!!! I loved the read. Although it is very sad but it has a strong storyline. Very good write.

[taviraman]

Thank you. It is gratifying to receive such a response. I wrote this for a friend who lost her son. I have put it to music but have no means of recording.

[joe38583]

Like an arrow to the heart. A lot of love here. I'm sure there's a tear for every word written. I immediately thought of my mother.

What if it was turned around and he was writing the song from the other side?

[taviraman]

I appreciate your lovely comments. I never thought of it in reverse. Like the idea. Must try that out sometime in the future.

[tomcollins]

well done , rock on !!!

[PhilJ]

My honest opinion is that this comes across as honest and heartfelt. There are plenty of good lines here.

The only thing i might suggest is to try and change one of the instances of the words memory/memories in the chorus. But does it really matter!

Nice one.

[taviraman]

Thank you Tom and Phil. Much appreciated. Phil, I did think that maybe it could do with a change there a I didn't feel comfortable with it but I couldn't come up with anyway to change it. If you can suggest a change I would be glad to take it on board

[cab139]

Hi taviraman.
This is a sing-a-long/hum-a-long tune where I know the words even before I've read them.
It's easy to sing. This type of stuff sells.

Nice one.

Cab

[taviraman]

Thank you CAB. If only I could get it recorded. Your critique is much appreciated. My dream to get it done by someone,but who where and when? Don't we all have that dream and problem. Maybe someone looking for a song might pick it up. Thank again to everyone who has taken the time to read and comment. I have the chords, simple as they may be. I'm not a great guitar player or composer but I try.

Edited by taviraman, 04 February 2012 - 11:15 AM.

[PhilJ]

The only thing i could come up with was 'I will feel the stinging emptiness that you have left behind'.

It's quite a difficult one to change!

[taviraman]

I agree Phil. It is difficult so I think I'll leave it a it is. Critique much appreciated.