Cool Metaphors

[ames1212]

I thought this would be a fun thread to challenge each other to come up with some cool Metaphors to make our lyrics jump out. Some songs are beautifully written but lack a creative flair. Several songs that are popular right now have these crazy metaphors that may not make sense spoken, but sound wonderful in a song. An Example Would be Miley Cyrus and Wrecking Ball, the opening lyrics of her song say: We clawed, we chained, we loved in Vain, and the chorus says I came in Like a wrecking ball, I never hit so hard in love. ( These are from her published work and are for reference only). They make a very interesting song. Another example is Cassidy Pope's Song, The Lyrics say I tried to find you in the bottom of a bottle lying cold on the bathroom floor. It may not make sense in a conversation but in a song it is a beautiful collision of words.

  I am reading a lyric writing book by Pat Pattinson, In the chapter I am referring to he suggest taking three different words, one adjective, one noun and one verb that do not go together and put them together to make a cool metaphor. You may have to try a few times to get it. Then add a sentence that will rhyme or go with it. Don't worry about editing for a lyric yet, just have fun with it. So I thought it would be fun to create a word game that the next person who post can use the words and make sentence with them. Then add another sentence that rhymes.

 

 

 

Rules: Take the three words that were left for you and make a sentence using metaphors and a play on words to make them work. Then write a sentence that rhymes at the end. Then you will leave an adjective, noun and a verb for the next person.Then they will do the same. It will be a fun way to come up with new and creative lyrics.

 

 

 

 

The first person's word will be:

 

Adjective- smoky    Noun- eyebrows  Verb- talk

 

 

Have Fun and be creative.        

[ames1212]

The man in the corner had mysterious eyes and smoky eyebrows and I knew I wanted to talk to him.

 

Our eyes met through the crowded room the music was loud and the lights were dim.

 

 

 

Ok I did the first one. Your turn:

 

Roller coaster, hiked, purple

[john]

my heart is a rollercoaster

crashing through the tumbling valleys

and climbing over the soaring peaks,

as I hiked through the rolling purple mountains

 

 

The metaphor being the linkage between "my heart" and "rollercoaster" using the key "is a".

 

For those in doubt of what a metaphor is, what the difference is between a metaphor, a similie and an allegory, I describe them here: http://forums.songstuff.com/blog/1/entry-171-similes-metaphors-and-allegories/

 

Adjective  - black

Noun - cloud

Verb - crying

[ames1212]

Loved it, that was a real descriptive one! Thanks for playing John, I Thought this might be cool!

black cloud crying

After he left my heart was a black cloud and my heart was crying for his love.

The smoke billowed through my mind and I have had enough.

Your words:

eagle, dance, furious

[john]

Thanks Amy

The gun's a hungry eagle, tap dancing on a hot metal roof

Screaming as it spat a furious rat-tat-tat

Hunting flesh telescopic, precise, and myopic

The bullets flew the nest, swooping down upon their prey

Stallion liberate scattered

[ames1212]

Her heart was beating a million beats a minute like a wild stallion, although she felt liberated her mind was scattered. She gracefully accepted the ring although she felt torn and tattered.

 

 

 

I am not as good at it as you are John. This does challenge your mind.

 

 

New words:

 

resourceful, rain,run

[symphonious7]

I run to the sun to illuminate my path, but the light leaves me blinded in pain,

The sun may be beautiful, shining so bright but it's not as resourceful as rain.  

 

Adjective - Sharp

Verb - Hammer

Noun -  Stone

[ames1212]

That would be a cool lyric for a song!

[symphonious7]

That would be a cool lyric for a song!

hahaha but what would it mean?  Hmmm Oh like... fun times are great to chase, but they aren't as beneficial as rejuvination periods.  Ooooo I may use it!  Your game, it hath made goodness.  I solute you.    By... swinging this hammer.... 

[john]

Your heart is solid stone

Untouched by the beating

Of the hammer of emotion

Or hot tears of sharp devotion

Dark - Roots - Breathe

[symphonious7]

Yeeeah... this game is hard LOL  Can we change the rules to just making a lyric that rhymes with those three words in general?  I start getting creative and then I'm like "wait.. that's just a lyric though.. not a metaphor... dang it.." hahaha

[john]

Well that is part of the discipline my friend lol if it is hard, it just shows how much more you should really be working it to develop your skills! LoL

[ames1212]

I run to the sun to illuminate my path, but the light leaves me blinded in pain,

The sun may be beautiful, shining so bright but it's not as resourceful as rain.  

 

Adjective - Sharp

Verb - Hammer

Noun -  Stone

Since you are working with metaphors you can say: You are the light in my life you are my sun, then that phrase you wrote could be the chorus. The theme could be that the relationship goes through sunshine then rain. Just a thought.

 

Yes it's hard, it would not be a Challenge if it wasn't.    

[ames1212]

Your heart is solid stone

Untouched by the beating

Of the hammer of emotion

Or hot tears of sharp devotion

Dark - Roots - Breathe

Dark Roots Breathe

 

You Breathe life into the dark roots of my soul.

You are my everything, I won't let go.

 

 

billows   carbeurator, girl

[Avit Hammer]

The billows girl was like a tuned up carburetor 

Blew my mind  got me started and now I can't forget her

 

 

 

 

 

 

v - Fish

n - Fish

a - Fishy

[symphonious7]

The billows girl was like a tuned up carburetor 

Blew my mind  got me started and now I can't forget her

 

 

 

 

 

 

v - Fish

n - Fish

a - Fishy

lmao 

 

It may sound fishy, it may sound amiss, 

But in the end, I'm just a fish who can't fish.  

 

Noun - Banner

Adjective - Ridiculous

Verb - play

[Avit Hammer]

She was like a ridiculous banner being towed by a plane

Telling the world about me, I'm not playing her game.

twist

tinted

chair

[ames1212]

Yeeeah... this game is hard LOL  Can we change the rules to just making a lyric that rhymes with those three words in general?  I start getting creative and then I'm like "wait.. that's just a lyric though.. not a metaphor... dang it.." hahaha

We can change where you make a sentence using the words if you can't come up with a metaphor, you might just have a beuatiful collision of words. That is the goal to find cool new ideas for lyrics. That's a good idea. Both ways get you thinking outside the box.

[ames1212]

Hi avit, that was a cool line.

 

 

A Twist in my mind, tinted a hue of gray, was a chair of words sitting in my way. I fumbled and stumbled and let them sit back for another day.

 

 

Fixed it,lol

 

 

cartoon loved sincere

[Avit Hammer]

We were like a cartoon show

When you came over my place

I was Jerry, you were Tom

Sincere in your hate.

it was tinted btw ......lol