Challenge #41 Saving Fish From Drowning

[jamestoffee]

Y1W41 Saving Fish from Drowning

 

Listen here:

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=12892284

 

He pledged himself in a noble way

To save one hundred lives each day

He dropped in his net and laid out on the bank

One hundred fishes he drew from the lake

 

He talked to the fishes while they flopped around

I saved you from drowning; you’re safe on dry ground

His words were convincing and his reasoning sound 

And sure enough they all calmed down

 

Yet sad to say they died anyway

He was always too late

 

And as it is evil to ever waste 

He sold the dead fish on market day

And bought more nets with the profits he made

So the next one hundred lives could be saved

 

LANDR Y1W41 Saving Fish From Drowning.mp3

[louielouwhy]

James

Ingenious!

I take it as though the fish are people that had been lured into something (net), only to be exploited for profits for the fisherman, only to be let go in spite of their expectations which the fisherman attracted them with (noble cause).  Which was, getting subjects to think that the company is going to improve the workers' conditions or environment.  But.  As a result,  wound up destroying their lives while the fisherman profited for him, her, themselves invested in a company.  

[jamestoffee]

Hi louielouwhy,

 

Thanks for the listen and post

 

James

[halld1971]

Hey James.

I like this as a folk song, kinda reminded me a little of something Dylan would have done.  A sad tale of a man blind to the damage he causes when ignorant/unaware of his own actions.  As I was listening it reminded me of folks that jet all around the world on vacation and then talk about saving the environment... a weak link but its what it reminded me of.

 

I would say I didn't find the song emotionally wrenching but it was a good starter.  As always, Im amazed how you turn this music out so quickly.

 

All the best,

 

David

[jamestoffee]

Hi David,

 

>I would say I didn't find the song emotionally wrenching but it was a good starter. 

Agreed.  

I read to get the most emotional impact, you should use the POV from the character that has the most to loose.....In this case it would be from the fish's POV, but then again a lot of the message would get lost or be confusing.....other than that I tried to go for longer higher notes in the B section and used a different chording, but I agree the "wrenching" isn't "wrenchy' enough to say it's emotionally wrenching.

 

Thanks for the listen and feedback

 

James

[halld1971]

I think there would be something fishy about using the POV from the character that has the most to lose.  Its a good point though as I just did the opposite and maybe thats why it was so so.

Anyway, I really enjoyed your song.

[jamestoffee]

>I think there would be something fishy

LOL absolutely

[halld1971]

the old ones are still the best lol