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Drifting With the Wind


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Wish I could just drift along
like the flow in a pretty song
Watch as life passes me by
And stop at times to say hi

 

To everything and everyone I meet
I'm moving without lifting my feet
Floating right above the street
I can feel the Sun's warm heat

 

And the air so clear so good
that I have to take off my hood
To feel the wind in my hair
These moments are so rare

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Hi Soulhuntah

 

Nice write, simple and straight-forward- nothing more we could ask!...thanks for sharing, regards Mike

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Thank you! I appreciate the feedback (: 

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  • 3 months later...

as far as ur rhyme scheme Perry covered that and yes it was very very simple but as he said straight to the point which is both very good but i honestly would suggest over time to try to expand ur rhyme scheme and even hit a dictionary or thesaurus and read through for a bigger vocab i have read it only once myself and started a 2nd time n got half through but it does help .

 

im not knocking u at i think we all start somewhere so im giving advice i was never given and trust me it is great advice what ur doing now its good , for a start , eventually ud want to build and challenge ur self and your ability as a writer and im trying to help n tell ya the tools cuz i had to figure everything out on my own n that sucks lol

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Yeah dude I know I should expand my rhyme scheme and vocabulary. I'll work on it eventually. Haven't really been writing a lot recently, just been sorta going out and gathering inspiration. Good point about challenging myself too.

 

Cheers for the advice!

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