The Coffee House Thread

[Rudi]

agony uncle Jim:

 

 

__Dear Jim,
I left home for work last week and after less than a mile my car stalled and wouldn't start again.
I walked back home to find my husband in bed with the babysitter.
They finally admitted they had been having an affair for the last 6 months and that they were in love.
Can you help me please, I'm really desperate.
Tina

 

Dear Tina.
The most common cause of vehicles breaking down in the first mile is dirt in the fuel lines.
If this is not the cause, it could well be the starter motor needs replacing.
Hope you find this helps.
Jim.

[Guest Rob Ash]

 

Woot!

[teek]

On 9/2/2016 at 3:48 AM, tunesmithth said:

I'll post more another day.

 

 

 

He should use the laddies !

[Guest Rob Ash]

A guy enters a bar with a loaded revolver.

 

He loudly states; "Who here has had sex with my wife?"

 

From the back of the room a voice calls out; "You don't have enough bullets, brother!"

[starise]

I am really enjoying the new Martin Luther King Jr stamp - just think about all those white bigots, licking the backside of a black man. Dick Gregory
 

My belief is, you know, certain things have to be explained that's never been explained. Dick Gregory

 

 

 

[starise]

[starise]

Ever feel like this guy?

 

[Alistair]

Two cannibals were eating a clown and one says to the other  "Does this taste funny to you?"

[Alistair]

The trouble with being a time machine driver is when the kids in the back start asking "Dad, are we then yet?"

[Rudi]

I met a girl in a pub last night and we ended up going back to her house.

After a few more drinks, we started kissing and having a bit of foreplay on the sofa.

She looked at me and said, "Let's take this upstairs."
...
I said, "Okay, you grab one end and I'll grab the other."

[Rudi]

A mans been caught abusing himself in a newsagents. It's now all over the papers.

[starise]

[starise]

A new cartoon series featuring Mr. Butthead .