Emerald Eyes (vox idea)

[LooknGlass]

This is something I started, but tucked away for awhile as I worked on the rest of the lyric. It got lost in the shuffle of my many projects and I'm now revisiting.

I could use thoughts on the vocal (does it suck, does my vocal melody work?) and I could use tips on how to make it better if you think it's worth the time. I'm not very confident when it comes to my vocals, but I'm not afraid of being told it doesn't work, when it doesn't work. I usually stick to gritty blues vocals, but am experimenting and practicing other vocal styles.

 

https://app.box.com/s/40i5vxoz3216vjnewm37rgpacy7ip3rr

 

She is a Jezebel, a Delilah as well
she tempted me and I gave in to her
Her body's sculpted art, long hair; like silk and dark
but it's her gaze that held her allure

 

I have succumbed to her emerald eyes
I have been undone, by her emerald eyes

 

Edited November 4, 2016 by LooknGlass

[ImKeN]

Great singing, LooknGlass! Im not familiar with this genre but for what it's worth, I think it sounds good and you should continue working on it. I didn't know you had such a deep voice, it's an amazing thing to hear!

 

Wishing you a great 2017! 

 

Ken

[LooknGlass]

On 1/4/2017 at 5:29 PM, ImKeN said:

Great singing, LooknGlass! Im not familiar with this genre but for what it's worth, I think it sounds good and you should continue working on it. I didn't know you had such a deep voice, it's an amazing thing to hear!

 

Wishing you a great 2017! 

 

Ken

Hi Ken. I'm glad I checked out my forum folder in my email and saw you posted. I appreciate your reply and compliment. It's because of my deep voice that I have a hard time finding a tune that fits it. Most of the finished tunes I come in contact with, are in a key that I can't reach or sing to, so finding one that 1st off, sounds good, and 2nd, is in the right key, and 3rd, that I can come up with lyrics for, makes a short list of songs for me to try to work out. Wishing a great 2017 for you as well man!!

[LooknGlass]

On 1/4/2017 at 8:35 PM, HoboSage said:

You posted this November 4th?  I missed it.  Anyway, about the vocal, it does sound fairly heavily effected.  But, I think that's okay.  The vocal melody is cool,  It's the megaphone-like EQ I think is more of a problem with respect to how it sounds.

 

 

Hi David, thanks for the listen man. Yes this is def heavily effected. I started this when I was just learning my new DAW, and was trying to find the "mood" of my vocal for the tune. It was a crude audition clip I used to get the idea across, and get the musician to let me use his music. As I listen now, I'm lucky he let me The new and the finished version will be much better (I hope) and sound less "canned". I hope to have the (entire) redone vocal completed in the next couple months, and would very much like your input. The music cannot be changed, as there will be no more takes or changes to it, so I may ask for help from some of you guys for honing it in EQ wise. Be back around the forum within a week or two, I've got home biz goin on. Thanks again David

Edited January 8, 2017 by LooknGlass