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IronKnee

She’s In Love

21 posts in this topic

Hi Everyone.........Apologies for being a bit absent....I haven't recorded anything for over a year; but, I got busy with this one over the weekend, and I guess it's ready to show 
All comments are welcome, and first impressions are most appreciated.
Thanks, in advance..................
-Tom

She’s In Love
By Tom Tognaci

http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=13520238

Forty-five more miles to go 
This old freight train’s moving way too slow 
She’s in love 
She’s in love ……..with someone else 

The sound of steel has a lonesome bite 
Crawling up my back on this winter’s night 
She’s in love 
She’s in love ……..with someone else 

I got out two days ago
From a jail in Ohio
Heading for the place I once called home
I hang my hope on my Loretta
But she only wrote me one letter
Calling for the day when I come home


The northern lights are a mystery
And there’s no solace in their company
She’s in love
She’s in love ……..with someone else 

I’m so tired of being lonely
I’d call home, if I could only
Know for sure that she’d be there alone
Now, all I have is my Loretta
And the words written in this letter
Calling for the day that I come home
And I’m coming home.

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cool song,nothing bad to say. i like the sound effects there well placed. keep up the great work

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Missed your songs, Tom. This is beautiful stuff, man. You've got a really catchy hook going on and those "oo-ooh's" are very cool - it reminded me of train horns. The sound effects were a bit distracting for me.

 

Here are a few opinions:

 

- In 'way too slow,' too sounded like to so maybe you might wanna lengthen it out a bit and allow, 'slow,' to fall on the first beat of the next bar? 

- 'Crawling up my back on this winter’s night,' sounded rushed. Maybe you could start the sentence a bit early so that, 'up,falls right on the first beat of the bar. Furthermore, just like 'slow,' you could allow, 'night,' to fall on the first beat of the next bar - this will give 'win-tuuur's' a little room to stretch.

 

It's a strong song, man. Wish you the best with it!

 

Ken

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Are you just blowing into the mic for the train chugging effect?  That's what it sounds like to me.  Whether that's the case, or if it's just a really weird sounding train sample, I think a more realistic train-sounding sample would be better.  I mean, the squealing steel sample you have is great and so mood setting.  But then that other sample just took me out of it altogether.

I think the strumming pattern feels a little repetitive, but it can almost be forgiven because the vocal and harmonica are so beautiful.

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On 1/24/2017 at 10:21 PM, ALOPRODUCTIONZ said:

cool song,nothing bad to say. i like the sound effects there well placed. keep up the great work

Thanks, A, for stopping by for the listen.......I really appreciate it!!

14 hours ago, ImKeN said:

Missed your songs, Tom. This is beautiful stuff, man. You've got a really catchy hook going on and those "oo-ooh's" are very cool - it reminded me of train horns. The sound effects were a bit distracting for me.

 

Here are a few opinions:

 

- In 'way too slow,' too sounded like to so maybe you might wanna lengthen it out a bit and allow, 'slow,' to fall on the first beat of the next bar? 

- 'Crawling up my back on this winter’s night,' sounded rushed. Maybe you could start the sentence a bit early so that, 'up,falls right on the first beat of the bar. Furthermore, just like 'slow,' you could allow, 'night,' to fall on the first beat of the next bar - this will give 'win-tuuur's' a little room to stretch.

 

It's a strong song, man. Wish you the best with it!

 

Ken

 

Thanks for commenting, Ken.....some good suggestions, here....thanks for sharing!

1 hour ago, cutaia said:

Are you just blowing into the mic for the train chugging effect?  That's what it sounds like to me.  Whether that's the case, or if it's just a really weird sounding train sample, I think a more realistic train-sounding sample would be better.  I mean, the squealing steel sample you have is great and so mood setting.  But then that other sample just took me out of it altogether.

I think the strumming pattern feels a little repetitive, but it can almost be forgiven because the vocal and harmonica are so beautiful.

 

Sorry for blowing the experience for ya..........I didn't have months to find a steam train that was blowing off at the rhythm I had already established......you caught me cheating :blush:   Sorry 

 

 

 

And thanks to all who have listened

                                                                           -Tom

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21 hours ago, IronKnee said:

Sorry for blowing the experience for ya..........I didn't have months to find a steam train that was blowing off at the rhythm I had already established......you caught me cheating :blush:   Sorry 

 

Lol, I suppose if you found one that was off rhythm, you could always do some clever editing to get it to fit.

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2 hours ago, cutaia said:

 

Lol, I suppose if you found one that was off rhythm, you could always do some clever editing to get it to fit.

 

 Not with the equipment I have..........I simply play into a little Boss Micro BR-4 and maybe use a little reverb and/or some of the pre-programmed EQ effects.

"I make all the music.....the music doesn't make me" (Hey...maybe that could be in a song ) ;-)

                                                                                                                                                                  -T

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intial listen

 

beautiful intro, love the transition into verse

great hook on shes in love, train sounds placed in perfect position (when listener reflects on first verse)

on "i got out two days ago", im wishing for something more, brass, string, something sybthesizing with your vocal melody and music, i guess a middle key somewhere, same for "im so tired of being lonely"

felt you could have dragged song out longer, but thats not certain... 

i really like it. it feels like a grower to me, which proves the deep thoughts that went into it. really nice artistic work! 

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18 hours ago, Micah Bordelon said:

intial listen

 

beautiful intro, love the transition into verse

great hook on shes in love, train sounds placed in perfect position (when listener reflects on first verse)

on "i got out two days ago", im wishing for something more, brass, string, something sybthesizing with your vocal melody and music, i guess a middle key somewhere, same for "im so tired of being lonely"

felt you could have dragged song out longer, but thats not certain... 

i really like it. it feels like a grower to me, which proves the deep thoughts that went into it. really nice artistic work! 

 

Hey thanks Micah......I'm so glad you like it. I couldn't hear a bass, off hand; and so, I didn't think about it.........

nothing really came to mind, so I left this rather bare-bones............there's always another day, however! :D

Thanks, again

 

 

 

And thanks to all who have listened!

                                                                         -Tom

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Tom,

 

Long time buddy....not on your end but mine!

 

Solid write my friend. I could probably do without the train effects in places but the rest is golden to my ears.

 

Ricky

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Wow, this is the most elaborate mix I've heard from you1  You brought in all the tracks wonderfully.  Kudos!

 

I thought the comment above was referring to the really low end stuff that came about every once in a while - occasional foot stomps?  I don't know if you can EQ those out or not. I'm lucky in that I foot stomp on carpet.  :thumb23:

 

Welcome back!  I was gone a while too.  I didn't complete any either, but I have like 10 or 15 in progress.  Cheers!  [smiley=thumb.gif]

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On ‎1‎/‎26‎/‎2017 at 7:40 AM, ImKeN said:

- In 'way too slow,' too sounded like to so maybe you might wanna lengthen it out a bit and allow, 'slow,' to fall on the first beat of the next bar? 

I agree with this.

 

I think this sounds great! Well done! The blowing effect doesn't detract for me but I don't think it adds much either

If I had to point out anything it would be the offbeat chugging of the train at the end and the above statement.

 

 The line "I’d call home, if I could only Know for sure that she’d be there alone" gives me goosebumps. Well played sir

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On 1/31/2017 at 10:51 AM, Ricky Layne said:

Tom,

 

Long time buddy....not on your end but mine!

 

Solid write my friend. I could probably do without the train effects in places but the rest is golden to my ears.

 

Ricky

 

Hey Ricky......long time, no hear.......ya, I've been away as well. Good to hear from you. And what have you been up to?

Thanks for listening ;)

 

 

On 2/1/2017 at 1:55 AM, CapM said:

Wow, this is the most elaborate mix I've heard from you1  You brought in all the tracks wonderfully.  Kudos!

 

I thought the comment above was referring to the really low end stuff that came about every once in a while - occasional foot stomps?  I don't know if you can EQ those out or not. I'm lucky in that I foot stomp on carpet.  :thumb23:

 

Welcome back!  I was gone a while too.  I didn't complete any either, but I have like 10 or 15 in progress.  Cheers!  [smiley=thumb.gif]

 

 

 

Hi Darin......You know me....I can't keep still (it's like my foot has a mind of its own):blush:

Hey thanks for listening...and, good to hear from you!

 

On 2/3/2017 at 8:55 AM, Nightwolf said:

I agree with this.

 

I think this sounds great! Well done! The blowing effect doesn't detract for me but I don't think it adds much either

If I had to point out anything it would be the offbeat chugging of the train at the end and the above statement.

 

 The line "I’d call home, if I could only Know for sure that she’d be there alone" gives me goosebumps. Well played sir

 

Hey, thanks Nightwolf........that's my favorite line in the song, as well. Thanks for noticing.......and for listening!

 

 

And thanks to all who have listened!

                                                                                   -Tom

 

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What up Tom? Nice tune. IronKnee still tricks me every time. LOL This song has a real comfortable vibe about it. I didn't really mind the effects. I thought the "steel" sound went on just a tad too long but other than that I like what you've done here. It has a little Springsteen "I'm on fire" vibe about it. I dig it. Good to hear from you again.

 

Randy

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On 2/10/2017 at 4:58 AM, Just1L said:

What up Tom? Nice tune. IronKnee still tricks me every time. LOL This song has a real comfortable vibe about it. I didn't really mind the effects. I thought the "steel" sound went on just a tad too long but other than that I like what you've done here. It has a little Springsteen "I'm on fire" vibe about it. I dig it. Good to hear from you again.

 

Randy

 

Thanks Randy, for stopping by....I appreciate it ;-)

 

And thanks to all who have listened!

                                                                   -Tom

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Powerful Americana lost love ballad with an emotive delivery.

 

I loved the vocals; they were definitely the highlight of this song. I liked the sound of the train - nice touch!

 

The intro has some timing issues in the arpeggiation of the guitar that were a bit disconcerting. There was a tendency to speed up as you proceeded through the progression each time. I am all for legato but if you are going to do this - for this song SLOW down as you near the cadence, don't speed up.

 

The harmonica stepping on the vocals is an issue. I would work out the harmonica parts to sit more in the spaces between the lines.

 

Overall, excellent song, good performance, and decent production.

 

Peace,

TC

 

PS: Slight timing issue on this line: 

"Crawling up my back on this winter’s night"

I would make a simple change to:

"Crawling up my back on a winter’s night"  (where "on a" can be slurred to "ona" for meter purposes)

Edited by TCgypsy

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On 2/14/2017 at 4:17 AM, TCgypsy said:

Powerful Americana lost love ballad with an emotive delivery.

 

I loved the vocals; they were definitely the highlight of this song. I liked the sound of the train - nice touch!

 

The intro has some timing issues in the arpeggiation of the guitar that were a bit disconcerting. There was a tendency to speed up as you proceeded through the progression each time. I am all for legato but if you are going to do this - for this song SLOW down as you near the cadence, don't speed up.

 

The harmonica stepping on the vocals is an issue. I would work out the harmonica parts to sit more in the spaces between the lines.

 

Overall, excellent song, good performance, and decent production.

 

Peace,

TC

 

PS: Slight timing issue on this line: 

"Crawling up my back on this winter’s night"

I would make a simple change to:

"Crawling up my back on a winter’s night"  (where "on a" can be slurred to "ona" for meter purposes)

 

Hey there gypsy....thanks for the input....and thanks for listening! ;-)

 

And thanks to all who have listened!

                                                                        -Tom

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Man, this is so great, and to think it's all done with the basic equipment you mentioned... goes to show you don't need much to make some amazing music. 

 

I was going to write that the train sounds were a bit on the nose for me, and that I liked the parts where they sounded more organic. More like the suggestion of a train rather than an actual train coming by. But after reading all those different opinions... well maybe the best approach is what feels best to you.

 

Either way, really great song. Really looking forward to hearing what you write next.

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This is really good. The vocals sound really good and the whole song has a dope vibe...  not usually into this kind of thing but this was really nice. 

 

The only thing is the harmonica overtaking the vocals a bit -but that's been mentioned. 

 

Overall a really cool song man

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On 2/16/2017 at 9:21 PM, GraffitiByNumbers said:

Man, this is so great, and to think it's all done with the basic equipment you mentioned... goes to show you don't need much to make some amazing music. 

 

I was going to write that the train sounds were a bit on the nose for me, and that I liked the parts where they sounded more organic. More like the suggestion of a train rather than an actual train coming by. But after reading all those different opinions... well maybe the best approach is what feels best to you.

 

Either way, really great song. Really looking forward to hearing what you write next.

 

 

Hey thanks GBN.....I really appreciate your taking the time. Yea....some like the train sounds, and some don't....but, it's all fun!!

Thanks againc

 

15 hours ago, Beant Singh said:

This is really good. The vocals sound really good and the whole song has a dope vibe...  not usually into this kind of thing but this was really nice. 

 

The only thing is the harmonica overtaking the vocals a bit -but that's been mentioned. 

 

Overall a really cool song man

 

Thanks Beant Singh......I'm happy to hear that you like it. 

 

 

 

And thanks to all who have listened!

                                                                -Tom

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My first thought is that your vocals don't need to fight with the train sound effects or the harp.  I think that your vocals and lyrics of the song are the stars and are really strong.  The harp is a nice addition, but perhaps a bit softer so it doesn't over-ride the vocals.  Just my 2 cents.  Nice song!

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