MonoStone

mix
Distant Cars UPDATED WITH SHREYASI...and a new mix

52 posts in this topic

Well, this is what I came up with this afternoon. The birds and slight road sounds aren't sound effects by the way, I just caught them from outside while recording the guitar and decided to keep them.

 

Simple tune, I didn't have much time. Maybe I'll expand on it...not sure... Any feedback welcome.

 

Added a new part and reduced the repeat on the end part. Does it work? 

 

Another update 10th March, now including some bass.

 

https://soundcloud.com/monostone-1/distant-cars03/s-IO7C4

 

 

UPDATE WITH SHREYASI

https://soundcloud.com/monostone-1/distant-cars08lessverb/s-3fNeZ

 

 

 

Words -

 

Evenings cold

On the stone

With my feet 

In the road

 

Counting hours

Wanting more

Counting hours

 

 

It’s a dream for the few

Close my eyes to the truth

 

It won’t be long

Until the night

It won’t be long

 

Feel it in the sound

Of distant cars

The empty roads cold

Waiting for

 

Golden lights

Golden lights

 

Arms open wide

Hope through fear

All those years behind the tears

 

Let’s go home

 

Graceful love
Painful love
In the evening glow

It's getting late and the world is waiting

Mistakes are made
In the evening glow

 

Evening's cold 

On the stone
With my feet

In the road

It won't be long
Until the night
It won't be long

Edited by MonoStone
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beautiful.. tbh i love the rawness of it and would even try to make your vocals and guitar more raw without making it sound bad?.. idk.. i feel like theres not much else you need to do. it's beautiful just like this.

and i really love the birds

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Hey there Mono Stone, This is beautifully recorded, and the atmosphere is sublimely comfortable. Good stuff!

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Hey mr.stone,

 

I agree with the previous comments, the atmosphere you created is wonderful. I like your voice and the guitar sound.

 

I am missing more dynamic in the song. Perhaps adding a second instrument midway, or background vocals could do the trick...

 

Thank you

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Jenn, Tom, Leo...

 

Thanks for listening and commenting. I think I'll work more on this, there's definitely something I like...simple as it is...

 

Thanks for your feedback. I'll take it all into account when I get chance to do more on it.

 

Cheers,

 

Dek

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Dek - lovely intro - the guitar sounds great. Nice unusual lyrics as well.. that's one of the things I like about your songs. I think your voice is getting a lot better, which probably comes from all the songs you've been doing lately.

 

I'm torn between you keeping the song like this, or doing a bit more instrumentation, although I'm going more towards the former at the moment.

 

The song does kind of end abruptly though.

 

Mix wise, it sounds really good, nice crisp recording.

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I really like the feeling and simplicity of this. I don't think it needs to be expanded, but the ending definitely needs something. It ends too abruptly. You might try bringing the vocals down just a touch and cutting back on their reverb/modulation mix level. Always a pleasure to listen to your work.

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I didn't need anything else when it starts repeating after the 2:40 or so mark.  It was all good, really like it.  And that was the whole song, everything else is needless repetition.  Since nothing new comes in, and it doesn't explode into a new groove, why not keep it a simple under 3 minute meandering of thought? 

 

To me, I like the little short songs on albums.  A song that acts like a bridge between other songs.  Not that you had that in mind, but if I were looking for a "why" to do this song, who says that's needed, that's what I would think of.  I'm sold on the birds, the simplicity provides room for peaceful thinking.

 

It did end abruptly, but for me, it ended a minute or so sooner.

 

Peace

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Really beautiful, Dek...

The atmosphere of this song reminds a bit the work of Craig Armstrong...

The minimalist side works very well... The voice and the guitar makes a great harmony...

Brilliant stuff...

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Cool atmospheric song with some nice guitar work.

 

The additional ambient sounds help MAKE this tune. The reverb you use fits the song really well although I think a wee bit less would be better. I already mentioned this but some nice sublime guitar there, bud.

 

As cool as the song is, it just never seems to go anywhere. Another section with more impact would take this song to a whole 'nother level.

 

Overall, great start to a good tune.

 

Peace,

TC

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If you expanded upon this, I've no doubt it would end up really cool.  BUT...I dunno.  I think this is working so amazingly well the way it is.

You're really making me want to do something with a ton of reverb, because it was so effective here.

The ending, though.  Damn.  That was, uh...sudden.  Maybe because you weren't sure if you wanted to do more with it or not?

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On 2/21/2017 at 0:28 AM, Richard Tracey said:

Dek - lovely intro - the guitar sounds great. Nice unusual lyrics as well.. that's one of the things I like about your songs. I think your voice is getting a lot better, which probably comes from all the songs you've been doing lately.

 

I'm torn between you keeping the song like this, or doing a bit more instrumentation, although I'm going more towards the former at the moment.

 

The song does kind of end abruptly though.

 

Mix wise, it sounds really good, nice crisp recording.

Thanks Richard, Hey what was wrong with my voice before!? Cheek! ;)  (don't answer that!) . Glad you like it. At the moment I think it needs something...or less... we'll see. Just glad the simple idea worked...but it's milking the same thing a bit long.

 

On 2/21/2017 at 4:11 AM, Steve Mueske said:

I really like the feeling and simplicity of this. I don't think it needs to be expanded, but the ending definitely needs something. It ends too abruptly. You might try bringing the vocals down just a touch and cutting back on their reverb/modulation mix level. Always a pleasure to listen to your work.

 

Thanks Steve, yep it needs something...a change, shortening, just some instrumental wandering into ambient at the end...not sure yet, but something. The ending was just a quick thing for the sake of getting ready to post the idea. Really glad you like it, and thanks for the kind words!

 

On 2/21/2017 at 7:11 PM, McnaughtonPark said:

I didn't need anything else when it starts repeating after the 2:40 or so mark.  It was all good, really like it.  And that was the whole song, everything else is needless repetition.  Since nothing new comes in, and it doesn't explode into a new groove, why not keep it a simple under 3 minute meandering of thought? 

 

To me, I like the little short songs on albums.  A song that acts like a bridge between other songs.  Not that you had that in mind, but if I were looking for a "why" to do this song, who says that's needed, that's what I would think of.  I'm sold on the birds, the simplicity provides room for peaceful thinking.

 

It did end abruptly, but for me, it ended a minute or so sooner.

 

Peace

 

Thanks McN, You are totally right of course, and that was my first thought...just end it at that point like a passing thing. I think it's either that or add something else which would then allow some repeat.

 

17 hours ago, Matthew76 said:

Really beautiful, Dek...

The atmosphere of this song reminds a bit the work of Craig Armstrong...

The minimalist side works very well... The voice and the guitar makes a great harmony...

Brilliant stuff...

Very kind! Thanks Matthew. I'll have to look up Craig Armstrong! 

 

3 hours ago, TCgypsy said:

Cool atmospheric song with some nice guitar work.

 

The additional ambient sounds help MAKE this tune. The reverb you use fits the song really well although I think a wee bit less would be better. I already mentioned this but some nice sublime guitar there, bud.

 

As cool as the song is, it just never seems to go anywhere. Another section with more impact would take this song to a whole 'nother level.

 

Overall, great start to a good tune.

 

Peace,

TC

 

Thanks TC, You're a proper guitarist being kind lol... It's all simple to fit my limited ability. I agree...after listening several times it's missing something to make it really shine as a 'song'. Thinkin on it....

 

2 hours ago, cutaia said:

If you expanded upon this, I've no doubt it would end up really cool.  BUT...I dunno.  I think this is working so amazingly well the way it is.

You're really making me want to do something with a ton of reverb, because it was so effective here.

The ending, though.  Damn.  That was, uh...sudden.  Maybe because you weren't sure if you wanted to do more with it or not?

 

Thanks Cutaia, if it makes you want to try something then there must be something good about it. I just like reverb...I've been cutting back on it for a while but miss it...as long as I'm not using it to hide stuff I think I should allow myself ;)  The ending was really just down to it not being finished. Just did it quick.

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The arrangement of this is beautiful.  That guitar part is nicely played, ethereal in a way.  I really liked listening to that.  I thought it would be cool to bring in some kind of light beat after the first couple of sections.

 

I  like the words :). Reading them they are interesting.  The sections seemed similar to each other though, but I think it was because the lyrical rhythm was similar in a lot of the sections.  I think it would make the listener tune in more if one of the sections changed the lyrical rhythm to add new meaning to the words :) 

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3 hours ago, MonoStone said:

Thanks Cutaia, if it makes you want to try something then there must be something good about it. I just like reverb...I've been cutting back on it for a while but miss it...as long as I'm not using it to hide stuff I think I should allow myself ;)  The ending was really just down to it not being finished. Just did it quick.

 

You know...that's something I need to come to terms with.  There's so much out there about hiding things with effects...so for awhile I've really tried to use as little as possible just to avoid that perception, but possibly to my detriment.  I guess we can always just make sure it sounds good without it...then lay it on for our own pleasure.  lol

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This is really nice Dek - really melancholy and very well performed. 

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Hmmm.  I agree with many of the others about your ambient arrangement - you do it very well!  I really dig the guitar fills and the synth-type sounds.  Really adds to the piece.  Your vocals are perfectly suited for this piece.

 

But I really thought you needed something different in the chorus.  It's extremely difficult to make a whole ~4:00 song with only two chords back and forth.  My ear and attention span were really itching for a change of pace.  Without the title, I'm not sure I could have determined what the chorus was and what the verses were.

 

Not that I proclaim to be Mr. Theory, but there is a natural progression that would work in the same context, if you want to try it.  When you get to the chorus, play a Dmaj9 (x-5-7-6-5-x) to A (x-0-2-2-2-x).  Or if you wanted to get jiggy with it, do the Dmaj9 then go to (x-4-2-4-2-x) which is a kind of A2 chord like you have in the verse except it doesn't actually have an A so it sounds different.  Then go back to the Dmaj9 and then your A to finish the chorus.  I'd end the chorus on A instead of your A2 (or Aadd9 if you call it that) because it sounds resolved - more like "home."  But your A2/Aadd9 would still work to end the chorus, but I'd do an A just so it sounds different and saves the ambient A2 for the verses.

 

Keep up the good work!  :guitar:

 

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16 hours ago, daryl1968 said:

This is really nice Dek - really melancholy and very well performed. 

Thanks Daryl! Glad you liked it :)

 

16 minutes ago, CapM said:

Hmmm.  I agree with many of the others about your ambient arrangement - you do it very well!  I really dig the guitar fills and the synth-type sounds.  Really adds to the piece.  Your vocals are perfectly suited for this piece.

 

But I really thought you needed something different in the chorus.  It's extremely difficult to make a whole ~4:00 song with only two chords back and forth.  My ear and attention span were really itching for a change of pace.  Without the title, I'm not sure I could have determined what the chorus was and what the verses were.

 

Not that I proclaim to be Mr. Theory, but there is a natural progression that would work in the same context, if you want to try it.  When you get to the chorus, play a Dmaj9 (x-5-7-6-5-x) to A (x-0-2-2-2-x).  Or if you wanted to get jiggy with it, do the Dmaj9 then go to (x-4-2-4-2-x) which is a kind of A2 chord like you have in the verse except it doesn't actually have an A so it sounds different.  Then go back to the Dmaj9 and then your A to finish the chorus.  I'd end the chorus on A instead of your A2 (or Aadd9 if you call it that) because it sounds resolved - more like "home."  But your A2/Aadd9 would still work to end the chorus, but I'd do an A just so it sounds different and saves the ambient A2 for the verses.

 

Keep up the good work!  :guitar:

 

Thanks CapM. Yeah it needs something unless I make it very short. Yesterday I messed with some ideas....Dmaj7 works nice so that might end up in it (Although I use that chord in many songs, so that's my only doubt)... but not tried DMaj9, I will try it and your others, thanks for suggesting. Got some other chord ideas too which are a bigger change though xx0760 (Dm add9 apparently) for a short change in direction. Dunno which way it will go yet. Hopefully I'll get chance to try things properly and record at weekend. 

Edited by MonoStone

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Added a new part and changed the end construction a bit. Does it work?

 

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Posted (edited)

I think it's coming along great, Dek! The extended/new part brings some really good contrast to the song. The nature sounds add a lot of character to the song, as well! Oh, and the ending sounded good to me.

 

Personally, I wanted guitar#2 to come in straight @0:17, the fade-in wasn't working for me.

 

There's some hissing @1:18 to @2:03(left ear), which distracted me a little.

 

But other than that, I think it's a VERY unique song idea because I can't remember the last time I heard something like this - which is a good thing, yeah?

 

All the best,

 

Ken

Edited by ImKeN

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19 hours ago, ImKeN said:

I think it's coming along great, Dek! The extended/new part brings some really good contrast to the song. The nature sounds add a lot of character to the song, as well! Oh, and the ending sounded good to me.

 

Personally, I wanted guitar#2 to come in straight @0:17, the fade-in wasn't working for me.

 

There's some hissing @1:18 to @2:03(left ear), which distracted me a little.

 

But other than that, I think it's a VERY unique song idea because I can't remember the last time I heard something like this - which is a good thing, yeah?

 

All the best,

 

Ken

 

Thanks Ken. The nature sounds are just the birds outside my window, they sang along so I kept them in. 

 

The 'hissing' is a deliberate sound but maybe I cut too much with the eq, and having some in both ears might make it less distracting...but it's a sound I like.

 

'Unique' is usually a good thing yeah :) If people like it. Although to be honest I like it so yes it's a good thing :) I'm not sure about the structure yet, but I feel good about the sound and the parts.

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this is so catchy but so soothing.. i think mixing could be a little better and maybe the synths in the background could be a little warmer.. even if you added a bit of bass or something. but its up to you how much you want to deviate from that rawness that i personally loved in the first one.

i also feel like sometimes your vocals could be a little more assertive. not harsh. but just more present. 

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57 minutes ago, Jenn said:

this is so catchy but so soothing.. i think mixing could be a little better and maybe the synths in the background could be a little warmer.. even if you added a bit of bass or something. but its up to you how much you want to deviate from that rawness that i personally loved in the first one.

i also feel like sometimes your vocals could be a little more assertive. not harsh. but just more present. 

 

Thanks Jenn, I've not changed the mix or the synths at all... All I did was add the new part. I think... I'll have to double check now! 

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A definite improvement over your original version.

 

I think you can extend the ending a bit, and make a better ending for this tune. The vocals were nice and intimate; however, a wee bit of mouth sounds slipping through on hard consonants - nothing too major.

 

Sounding good.

 

Peace,

TC

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On 3/6/2017 at 7:36 PM, TCgypsy said:

A definite improvement over your original version.

 

I think you can extend the ending a bit, and make a better ending for this tune. The vocals were nice and intimate; however, a wee bit of mouth sounds slipping through on hard consonants - nothing too major.

 

Sounding good.

 

Peace,

TC

 

Thanks TC. I'm glad you like the new part. I'll look again at the ending and see if I can clean any mouth sounds (or retake if needed)

 

Cheers,

 

Dek

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I think this is sublime! Love it! I listened to the ending several times and have mixed feelings about it. On one hand it is very cool and unique. On the other, it doesn't feel natural when so much about this wonderful piece are the subtle details (like the slowly rising volume of the keys). I love the texture in the final tail. Can the initial guitar fade out be less abrupt? Maybe fade the guitar and leave a gentle reverb wash behind?

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Hello MonoStone,

Simple, Peaceful and Beautiful. That's the feeling the song evokes. Not going into the details as my thought is- why disturb something so simple, peaceful and beautiful? :)

Thank you so much for sharing. 

 

Cheers,

 

Priyan

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This song made me feel sad! In a good way though. I really like it. It could end at about the 3 minute mark if you would need to do that to make it shorter for some reason, but I like it basically just how you have it. At first I thought the vocals came in a bit too loud but it was unnoticeable shortly thereafter. Quite the different tune from you. Now I need to go watch the Simpsons to cheer me up. LOL

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The new version is really pleasant Dek - kind of imagining lying on my back in a field looking up at the clouds as the world passes by.

 

I also feel the vocal is just a tad too loud, especially at the beginning, but the mix sounds fine otherwise.

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On 6 March 2017 at 2:50 PM, Jenn said:

this is so catchy but so soothing.. i think mixing could be a little better and maybe the synths in the background could be a little warmer.. even if you added a bit of bass or something. but its up to you how much you want to deviate from that rawness that i personally loved in the first one.

i also feel like sometimes your vocals could be a little more assertive. not harsh. but just more present. 

 

Jenn, I decided you were correct...this needed some bass. I've added some but tried to keep it subtle. I've also edited the vocal compression. Let me know how it all sounds now?

 

On 8 March 2017 at 5:18 AM, Steve Mueske said:

I think this is sublime! Love it! I listened to the ending several times and have mixed feelings about it. On one hand it is very cool and unique. On the other, it doesn't feel natural when so much about this wonderful piece are the subtle details (like the slowly rising volume of the keys). I love the texture in the final tail. Can the initial guitar fade out be less abrupt? Maybe fade the guitar and leave a gentle reverb wash behind?

Hi Steve, I'm very glad you like it, thank you. I've updated it with some bass and a few other small tweaks. I've not had time to address the end part yet...I considered re-recording the picked acoustic to do a more typical ending, but I think something less usual is needed and I like your suggestion so I'll work on that.

 

On 8 March 2017 at 5:42 AM, Priyan said:

Hello MonoStone,

Simple, Peaceful and Beautiful. That's the feeling the song evokes. Not going into the details as my thought is- why disturb something so simple, peaceful and beautiful? :)

Thank you so much for sharing. 

 

Cheers,

 

Priyan

 

Hello Priyan,  Thank you for those nice words! I have updated it subtly, if you're interested to listen again.

 

14 hours ago, Just1L said:

This song made me feel sad! In a good way though. I really like it. It could end at about the 3 minute mark if you would need to do that to make it shorter for some reason, but I like it basically just how you have it. At first I thought the vocals came in a bit too loud but it was unnoticeable shortly thereafter. Quite the different tune from you. Now I need to go watch the Simpsons to cheer me up. LOL

Hey Randy, Very glad you like it. I have adjusted the vocal level a touch. And added some bass and other subtle bits. If you get chance please let me know how that works for you?

 

14 hours ago, Richard Tracey said:

The new version is really pleasant Dek - kind of imagining lying on my back in a field looking up at the clouds as the world passes by.

 

I also feel the vocal is just a tad too loud, especially at the beginning, but the mix sounds fine otherwise.

 

Hi Richard, Yeah I get that feeling too, although for me it's a more sitting on the pavement looking up. I might try making a video for this one. I've adjusted the vocal level and played with a new compression method.

 

On 5 March 2017 at 5:51 AM, ImKeN said:

There's some hissing @1:18 to @2:03(left ear), which distracted me a little.

 

Hi Ken, I've tried to balance that sound in the new version. It's a sound I like but I felt like it was too much in one ear... 

 

....

 

Thanks again all. I have replaced the original file now. I'm not 100% done yet.

 

Btw, how's my slide sounding in the bridge? I'm not looking for compliments, just something on my mind.

 

 

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I really like this one.  When I first listened I had my volume up. The higher volume brings out the vocal too much, This is the Fletcher Munsen curve kicking in. When I lowered the volume it seemed more in balance. I'm pretty sure you didn't make this one for louder volume.

 

Overall the whole thing works.  I might look at adding another acoustic part in the bridge, something higher, yet still slow. That's the only thing I might do differently. Nice Song!

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