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Leo

Poetic (by Leo Sherman)

6 posts in this topic

Poetic

V
We used to play out in the fields,
And fight with branches like they're steel,
Well I was seven you were ten,
How life was limitless back then,

 

C

Back then, 
Speaking words no one else could understand,
Tell each other that this will never end, never end, never end,

 

V

And we moved forward with the years,
And we'll just meet to have a beer,
But I feel seven you are ten,
And life was limitless back then,

 

C

Back then, 
Speaking words no one else could understand,
Tell each other that this will never end, never end, never end,

 

C PART

It was early this morning, when I picked up the phone,
Now everything is burning,
And I feel so alone,
And all that is happy,
You take to the grave,
And the fields will stay empty,
For somebody else,

 

C

Back then, 
Speaking words no one else could understand,
Tell each other that this will never end
Never end,

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Here's a demo of the song.

Will be properly recorded for a future project.

https://soundcloud.com/leosherman/poetic/s-gS94R

 

 

 

Edited by Leo

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Hi Leo

really likes the branches and steel line, cooooool

 

big disconnection with the use of the word "limiteless" something simpler to match the 7 and 10 motif such as

 

"life had not limits back then"

 

would for my mind work much better

 

 

Regards

 

Arty

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the link to soundcloud is broken by the way

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Posted (edited)

5 hours ago, arty said:

Hi Leo

really likes the branches and steel line, cooooool

 

big disconnection with the use of the word "limiteless" something simpler to match the 7 and 10 motif such as

 

"life had not limits back then"

 

would for my mind work much better

 

 

Regards

 

Arty

 

Thanks for your comments Arty,

I think I understand your remark on 'limitless'. I must admit instinctively i likr the way limitless rolls of my tongue. It might be a getting too used to domething sort of thing. So, I will try and play the song with "life had not limits back then" for a bit and see if I can make it work for me.

 

Thanks a bounch for your critique.

I will fix the link, thanks.

 

Edited by Leo

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On 18/03/2017 at 0:24 PM, arty said:

the link to soundcloud is broken by the way

 

Fixed,

Thanks

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