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brycebad

Another track... still trying to find my voice

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brycebad    24

Hey everyone!

 

I posted for my first time on here a week or so ago and wrote and recorded another song in between that time and now. I am just trying to find "my voice" or the genre where I can really shine as an artist and would appreciate feedback on this most recent song. (I know the mixing may not be 100%, I'm making all of this out of my college dorm room :P ) Lyrics below...

 

My hands are tired from healing the pain, so far away but I’m still feeling the same.

Its crazy how your words catch fire, its like you rule an empire.

 

You got me questioning what happened to the love, to our one great nation under God.

Try to forget the hate when I sing this song.

 

We can walk down this road, but we can’t do this alone.

We gotta learn from our past and move on…

 

To the better days

Come together, arm in arm, staying strong through the eye of the storm

To the better days

Spread a smile, walk the extra mile, on the road to the better days.

 

I wanna feel the rush, I wanna feel free, bask in the light of the American Dream

And if you’re hanging on by a wire, hang on and climb higher

 

You got me questioning what happened to this place, to a time of happiness and grace.

Try to forget the hate when I sing this song.

 

We can walk down this road, but we can’t do this alone.

We gotta learn from our past and move on…

 

To the better days

Come together, arm in arm, staying strong through the eye of the storm

To the better days

Spread a smile, walk the extra mile, on the road to the better days.

 

We won’t go quiet into the night.

We just keep moving moving moving moving onnnnnnn….

 

To the better days

Come together, arm in arm, staying strong through the eye of the storm

To the better days

Spread a smile, walk the extra mile, on the road to the better days.

Edited by john
Had to set tags. OP please set tags for your topic!
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ImKeN    274

Hey Bryce,

 

Your vocals are really good. I can think of only one other artist who gives me a similar vibe to yours: David Archuleta. Back in the day when he used to sing pop songs with infectious melodies, you remind of that kind of artist. I think you also have the voice for singer-songwriter type songs: I heard your song ‘Unshaken' on your SC page. Maybe the merging of ideas from those two genres, could set you off in the right direction?

 

However, I think it really boils down to what you love creating. The genre that gives you the most satisfaction in writing and performing it, might be the right fit for you? Those are my thoughts.

 

All the best,

 

Ken

Edited by ImKeN

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MonoStone    915

I can't tell you whether you've found your voice, only you know that... but I think this is very well done. In my opinion it's sung well. It's constructed well. All you need to do is keep writing, keep recording, keep performing, keep on mixing...just keep at it, write the songs you want to write, sing the way you want to sing, and time will only make you better.

 

If you want an opinion...there's a kind of 'worthy' feeling to the way you perform it, but the words have that about them too, so I imagine that's what you want. I mean it's all very 'nicey nicey squeaky clean'... so if that's what you're going for then great.

 

Nothing I'd criticise about your performance personally... all a matter of taste. 

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great song your vocals give the song more energy, chorus could be stronger personally

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brycebad    24
On 3/2/2017 at 10:27 PM, ImKeN said:

Hey Bryce,

 

Your vocals are really good. I can think of only one other artist who gives me a similar vibe to yours: David Archuleta. Back in the day when he used to sing pop songs with infectious melodies, you remind of that kind of artist. I think you also have the voice for singer-songwriter type songs: I heard your song ‘Unshaken' on your SC page. Maybe the merging of ideas from those two genres, could set you off in the right direction?

 

However, I think it really boils down to what you love creating. The genre that gives you the most satisfaction in writing and performing it, might be the right fit for you? Those are my thoughts.

 

All the best,

 

Ken

Wow @ImKeN, thank you for comparing me to David Archuleta... I consider that a huge compliment :P

 

I am in the process of making more music and figuring out what I enjoy the most, but thank you for giving me a bit of direction about what you think might sound good with my voice :)

 

All the best in your own work!

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I like the lyrics to me they have a good flow

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Matthew76    232

Nice melody... and nice construction...

Some sounds are really cool...

The singing mixes well with the tune, I find...

Good work!

 

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I think you should be proud of your work on this so far. Like Monostone said, just keep at it. Not every output has to be The Masterpiece. Sometimes songs are just stepping stones to something else. 

 

I also appreciated that you have a sense of building to something and then you know where the payoff is supposed to be and you try to deliver. Those are all things some people never quite get the hang of, so that's good. Your singing also seems just fine, no worries there.

 

I found the lyrics to have a lack of original imagery. There are a lot of kind of random metaphors strung together without enough sense of unity. You've got a road, a fire, a storm, a wire, there should be more commitment to something. It sort of feels like you just strung together some familiar lyric cliches without a whole lot of thought into an overarching theme. 

 

Lastly, this is a much easier fix: I find the chorus to be really midrange-heavy. I want to put a big old classic V EQ on it, get the bass to pop out much more and tone down the muddiness of the middle stuff. I think you'll find it feels a lot more satisfying.

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HoboSage    1,997
1 hour ago, Jim of Seattle said:

Not every output has to be The Masterpiece. Sometimes songs are just stepping stones to something else. 

 

Bullhshit!  Only do masterpieces!  Good to see you back, Jim. :) 

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calumt17    5

Love the tone to your voice and the overall structure of the song! The way it builds up for an almost cinematic-like chorus is great. Keep it up.

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