Anonymous9

All I Want Is You - Anonymous9

5 posts in this topic

This song is about, well, basically being friendzoned. And then the girl you like turns out to be a ho, or more accurately: a gold digger.

 

Haha, I had a lot of fun making this 'Amy Winehouse inspired' song soooo.... 

Please tell me what you think of this song - whether it be good/bad, it doesn't matter, I'd love both. :) 

 

Anyway, here's the song (lyrics are below):

 

 

Lyrics:

 

[Verse 1]

We’ve been friends forever

Maybe a little too long

Whenever we’re together

This feeling it won’t go away

No this feeling it won’t go away

 

So I stay up at night

Thinking do you feel the same

As I stare from afar

Thinking maybe you feel the same

 

But when I asked do you love me?

You said “why, of course I do”                             

But I know exactly what you meant

Ye I’ll always be a friend to you

But all I want is you

Oh all I want is you

 

[Verse 2]

You with your sky blue eyes

It’s hard to say when you’re telling lies

So the next day I had to call you up

To see who you really love

 

But you said “No! Stop right there.

Before you jeopardise what we got”

So I said “I was just messing”

And you said “No you’re not!”

 

So I said “Just forget this happened”

And you said nothing at all

But I know I’ll never forget this ever

Because all I think of is you

Because all I want is you

Ye all I want is you

 

[Verse 4]

Happy times, oh happy times for you

You’re going off to Hollywood

Told me you got a record deal

From your new man who owns the label

Oh I see the games you’ve been playing there

Oh I see the games you ain’t playing fair

I told you I was happy so,

You told me I was the bestest friend

I almost said it, oh ye I almost said it   

That I didn’t want you to go                    

Cuz all I want is you

Ye all I want is you

 

[Verse 5]

Do you know how I feel

Or how I hurt

I feel like a fool

For ever loving you

This unrequited love

Is killing me slowly

Because you’re all that I want

But you’ll never love me

Because you’re all that I want          

But you’ll never love me

Love me

Love me

love

love

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First off, let me say good for you to post what you've done...With that being said, there is really nothing in this song I can get into.  The lyrics are ok, but they really deserve some melody and would make more impact that way.  The song is basically monochromatic and I think that's one of the biggest things that turn me off.  I feel you're expecting me to find color on a blank, white sheet of paper.  The music in the background is cheap sounding, repetitive and superficial.  I know this is overwhelmingly negative, but don't let it discourage you. Work with this, try again, put some melody in it and come up with something better.  Try to paint a picture with sound.  Music is what emotion sounds like....try to tap into your feelings with it.  I think I speak for everyone on this site, that we want you to succeed, and wish you the best.  Good Luck!

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JH Michaels Thanks very much for commenting. Yeah I agree, the song does sound quite bland now - I'll try come up with more of a melody. I'll try re-work the lyrics as well, they're quite telling and not descriptive enough. I'll also aim to add for the music now to make it less repetitive and add some depth into the song. Definitely, I'll keep working at it and add emotion into it.

 

Thanks anyway for the encouragement, I really appreciate your input too - I don't really care if it's negative because at least I can improve from now on :)

 

Thanks again,

Anonymous9

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@Anonymous9, quite an interesting song. Listening to it was like trying to solve a puzzle. I found a steady rhythm in the vocal performance so I focussed on that a lot more than anything else: don't know if you did that on purpose coz it's a little brilliant. But for that reason, I think you should post the lyrics up for critique in the lyric section to make sure the lyrics are top notch.

 

All the best with it,

 

Ken

 

 

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@ImKeN Thanks for that. Haha yeah, I did the vocal melody on purpose - I was feeling inspired by Amy Winehouse - but the vocals still didn't come out exactly like I hoped.

 

I'll post the lyrics and try work on them more - I know they sound a bit boring.

 

Thanks anyway :) ,

Anonymous9

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