arty

Making Us One

4 posts in this topic

 

Always wanted to a cliche song where the fireworks and train motifs of the old movies were used, the story whilst not Pop 101 is certainly real for some friends I have had over the years..

 

 

 

 

Making Us One                       Draft                                                   RogersonLB

 

 

V1

Sure I been around

All those single nights

Drinking out on the town

Know some cannot bear to go home alone

I wasn't like this till I met you

 

Chorus

IF I cant have a life with you

Give me one more chance

Have you wrapped around me making us one

Till the fireworks explode and the train slowly goes

If I cant have life with you

Give me one more night

Wrapped around me making us one

 

V2

Now your saying

It was only once

Somehow you've gone back to him

he's real sorry now and wont hit you again

its history crime it will happen again

 

Chorus

IF I cant have a life with you

Give me one more chance

Have you wrapped around me making us one

Till the fireworks explode and the train slowly goes

If I cant have life with you

Give me one more night

Wrapped around me making us one

 

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Hey man, nice writing!

 

My only concern is that you're exposing her to more trouble by begging her to be unfaithful with you?

 

Cheers, Geir

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Thanks for taking the time to comment Geir, it is much appreciated to get SOME feedback!

 

This was actually inspired, if this is the right word, by a Friends episode where Ross had a one night stand whilst he was on a break with Rachel, and the discussion of the show was if this was alright or not - along with living at one time in a community of bashed wives who kept returning to what they perceived as loving relationships

 

so had not actually thought about the unfaithfulness before but do agree, it is there - this is why critique is so important having others see what the writer is blind to, thank you again

 

 

Regards

Arty

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6 hours ago, arty said:

Thanks for taking the time to comment Geir, it is much appreciated to get SOME feedback!

 

This was actually inspired, if this is the right word, by a Friends episode where Ross had a one night stand whilst he was on a break with Rachel, and the discussion of the show was if this was alright or not - along with living at one time in a community of bashed wives who kept returning to what they perceived as loving relationships

 

so had not actually thought about the unfaithfulness before but do agree, it is there - this is why critique is so important having others see what the writer is blind to, thank you again

 

 

Regards

Arty

 
 

 

If love is stronger than sex you might get away with it, though, ‘cos love makes blind! The question is, of course, if this is the case here?

G

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