nsj

Mary Jane (formerly Sarah Jane)

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Posted (edited)

Hi y'all! 

This is a re write of "Sarah Jane" 25/9/16. Soon after the idea Mary Jane came up and i really think the latter suits the theme far better.

Besides Sarah is gone but Mary is always with me.. :)

Ive posted Sarah Jane below for comparison... 

Neil

 

Mary Jane.

(yes, aca marajuana)

 

verse:
I get a feeling…  in my bones
I get a feeling...   from head to toe
My head is reeling…   and the feelings flow

 
chorus:
Mary Jane  -   i’m so glad you came
Mary Jane  - how can i refrain

 

Whenever times are tough  
 I just can’t get enough
Mary Jane  -   you relieve my pain
(solo)


verse:
I get a feeling…   in my soul
I get a feeling…   that takes control
My head is reeling…   let the feelings roll


chorus:
Mary Jane  -   i’m so glad you came 
Mary Jane  -    how can i refrain

 

If it was all too much  
you’ve go the magic touch
Mary Jane  -   you relieve my pain
(solo)


chorus:
Mary Jane  -   i’m so glad you came 
Mary Jane  -    how can i refrain

 

Like when the road gets rough  
I know you’ve got the stuff
Mary Jane  -   you relieve my pain

Edited by nsj
title description

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25/9/16

Sarah Jane

 

i get a feeling
in my bones
i get a feeling
from head to toe
my head is reeling
and the feeling grows
 
Sarah Jane
won't you ease my pain
Sarah Jane
one thing will remain
 
i'll take anything i can get
i was smitten the day we met
 
Sarah Jane
won't you ease my pain
 
i get a feeling
in my soul
i get a feeling
i can't control
my head is reeling
and i can't let go
 
Sarah Jane
won't you ease my pain
Sarah Jane
one thing will remain
 
i'll do anything i can do
i just want to do it with you
 
Sarah Jane
won't you ease my pain

 


 

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Posted (edited)

I'm curious to why you replaced Sarah Jane with Mary Jane.  When I saw the title, Mary Jane, I thought of Tom Petty's song, Last Dance with Mary Jane.  Why not use something uncommon, maybe Celia Jane?  It would add another syllable, giving it further distinction.  Also, I might suggest that if you're going to use "one thing remains" that you somehow state what that one thing is shortly after.  Also, on account of the rhyme scheme of the T.P.  Song--Jane/pain.  You might consider looking at some other long "a" words to change that to.  There should be tons of options.  Do a search on both perfect and imperfect rhymes.  You may have to change the wording of the line to accommodate, but there's a good chance it might fit better anyway.

Edited by Pahchisme Plaid

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7 minutes ago, Pahchisme Plaid said:

I'm curious to why you replaced Sarah Jane with Mary Jane.  When I saw the title, Mary Jane, I thought of Tom Petty's song, Last Dance with Mary Jane.  Why not use something uncommon, maybe Celia Jane?  It would add another syllable, giving it further distinction.  Also, I might suggest that if you're going to use "one thing remains" that you somehow state what that one thing is shortly after.  Also, on account of the rhyme scheme of the T.P.  Song--Jane/pain.  You might consider looking at some other long "a" words to change that to.  There should be tons of options.  Do a search on both perfect and imperfect rhymes.  You may have to change the wording of the line to accommodate, but there's a good chance it might fit better anyway.

hi, Sarah Jane is an ex, and i should probably be over her by now. Writing about her doesn't help the process. But that aside Mary Jane is referring to marijuana, which, good or bad, has been a constant in my life like many others so i think its more relatable.

cheers, Neil

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Posted (edited)

Oh!  Okay.  I learn new things every day.  I didn't know that was another name for Marijuana.  From now on,  I'll hear that name and reference in light of this new awareness.  

Edited by Pahchisme Plaid
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Neil

Got it but not enough to roll a spliff with this one lol

There is no movement / progress through the lyric, we get it early and it is basically repeated over and over.

 

maybe a story board such as

V1 - things have gotten bad and i need

Chorus - Mary is my relief

V2 - trying to break the habit find something else

Chorus - Mary is my relief

Bridge - accepting I have to put up with her forever

Chorus - Mary is my relief

 

Rhyme is an issue raised and in V1 and V2 would not rhyme at ALL including internally, rhyme the chorus and bridge certainly...

 

 

 

Regards

 


Arty

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3 hours ago, arty said:

Neil

Got it but not enough to roll a spliff with this one lol

There is no movement / progress through the lyric, we get it early and it is basically repeated over and over.

 

maybe a story board such as

V1 - things have gotten bad and i need

Chorus - Mary is my relief

V2 - trying to break the habit find something else

Chorus - Mary is my relief

Bridge - accepting I have to put up with her forever

Chorus - Mary is my relief

 

Rhyme is an issue raised and in V1 and V2 would not rhyme at ALL including internally, rhyme the chorus and bridge certainly...

 

 

 

Regards

 


Arty

hi arty, i appreciate what ur saying but the overall intent with SJ and MJ was keeping it simple. so many great songs are simple and uncomplicated. especially blues.as far as rhyme goes im usually finnicky. but its never cut and dried with lyrics, just trying to get out of my comfort zone :) 

cheers

neil

Edited by nsj

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