7 posts in this topic

Hi, 

 

This is my original song, "Make you stay".

 

I only joined Soundcloud two days ago and am not very skilled at recording/mixing but would love any feedback you can give (Lyrics, melody, structure, quality, catchi-ness, instruments, arrangement, tempo, voice etc). 

 

Thank you in advance :) 

 

https://soundcloud.com/alexxxiii/make-you-stay

 

Lyrics:

So this is how the story ends
Decided we were better off as friends
The way you look tonight with your sorry eyes and your goodbye smile
Nothing I can do to make you stay

Same old you and same old me
Beginning to see things differently
From the moment that we met you were saying things that I won't forget
There's nothing I can do to love you less

Am I wasting time 
trying to make you feel the same
So I'll try and try change my mind 
cause I can't change the rules of your game
but I'll still try

Can we go back
To when we were more than friends
Can I be the one you love again
Cause I can't bear to watch you walk away
Darling I would do anything to make you stay

Such a feeling such a rush
It started off as little more than a crush
and it's the way you look tonight with your sorry eyes and your goodbye smile
there's nothing I can do to change your mind

Am I wasting time trying to 
make you feel the same
So I'll have to change my mind
cause I can't change the rules of your game
but I'll try

So can we go back
to when we were more than friends
can I be the one you love again
cause I can't bear to watch you walk away
darling I would do anything to make you stay

Back to when we were more than friends
can I be the one you love again
cause I can't bear to watch you walk away
darling I would do anything
darling I would do I would do
I would do anything
I would do I would do
anything to make you stay

Edited by AlexVIII
Added Lyrics

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Welcome to SongStuff Alex - this was a nice, pleasant song and I enjoyed listening. I'm not going to comment on the lyrics too much, but they suit the song. They are a bit overused in songs, but I can't talk, as I have used a few of them in some of my stuff.

 

Your guitar playing was really nice and your voice and harmonies were very well done.

 

What did you use to record this?

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Lovely voice, and I like the song a lot! If it was recorded better and produced with a bit more polish I think I'd LOVE it!

 

I imagine it with a thinner sounding acoustic, it's a bit boomy and it's kind of in front of your vocal. Also I think your voice would sound better with a less springy reverb. I can imagine various things for the arrangement but I reckon it's really good as just you singing with one acoustic, just needs recording and mixing differently.

 

I don't know how you recorded, what with and what's a separate recording etc... I'd be interested to know, and if you say more about that then others here might help too.

 

I've listened to the song three times now so for me that means it just works as a tune and the construction felt right to me. Lyrically, I dunno, I liked it because you sounded like you meant it... I suppose it's the kind of thing heard in a lot of songs but that's not necessarily a bad thing!!! I think that makes it more 'pop' because a lot of people will relate and it's really accessible. 

 

Now I'm listening to Numb... wow! WOW! 

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Thank you for the positive comment @MonoStone!

 

I have just tried to add reverb to make it sound a bit more put together as it was sounding pretty flimsy, but I am really not good at mixing/producing so it is very rough and the instrument as well as the background noise is projected hugely is all of my pieces unfortunately.

 

I have recorded everything on GarageBand just using a mic via a midi fast track. I have recorded guitar separate to vocals and then just doubled up the tracks and added harmonies and percussion.

 

Hope that makes sense, and thanks again for taking the time to listen and comment!

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Nice guitar playing...Goo Goo Dolls comes to mind.

 

Vocals are really good to...very nice!

 

I'm not listening on great quality headphones but the mix sounds really good to me. At least you shouldn't be too worried about it.

 

Very enjoyable listen. Really good work.

 

Ricky

 

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Nice 1+1 with a laidback vibe.

 

Good song with competent guitar and nice vocals.

 

There are some minor timing issues in the vocal delivery from time to time - nothing too major. I am also hearing a lot of small 'pops' and other mouth sounds in the recorded vocal - are you using a pop filter? 

 

The sound of the guitar is pretty good but it sounds very one dimensional. The overall production is pretty good but some stereo seperation would do wonders for this song. Everything is too 'center' - some width would be an improvement. I would double-track the guitar and hard pan them left and right which would make room in the center for the vocal. This would help solve the issue that Dek pointed out:

17 hours ago, MonoStone said:

I imagine it with a thinner sounding acoustic, it's a bit boomy and it's kind of in front of your vocal.

 

Overall, good tune with a decent production.

 

Peace,

TC

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