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Alistair

The Slow Reveal: the song

10 posts in this topic

So, in keeping with its title, I finally got round to recording my song The Slow Reveal.

 

The 'so' above implies that I am taking about a topic we have discussed previously, which we have, and which you can find here 

I have recorded a one on one version of the song here.

 

 

It is not as slow as the title implies, nor is it supposed to be. I think it is long enough already and can't think what to cut to make it shorter if it was slower. All feedback welcome

 

 

We had a long, protracted debate about the lyrics, in particular how to resolve the chorus, and I reflected on the feedback over a couple of years ( i was doing other stuff too!) and this is where they ended up.

 

The Slow Reveal

 

Anticipating

Can’t stand the waiting

Now it’s killing me

How you’re thrilling me

Seductive temptress

Undress to impress

I’m no average Joe

At some cheap peep-show

How can a man you’ve blindfolded see?

I'll bet you enjoyed it when you told me

 

(Chorus)

You don’t know me

Like you think you know me

You have to show me your love is real

But love at first sight

That lasts one night

And how could one night prove how you feel?

It’s gotta last a lifetime

The slow reveal

The slow reveal

 

Slip off your silk dress

Show me some bare flesh

Or must I suppose

What’s beneath your clothes?

Oh make it quick please

Curtail your strip-tease

Need more than a peek

How my flesh is weak

When will this man you have handcuffed be free?

Oh how I loved it when you rebuffed me

 

(Chorus)

You don’t know me

Like you think you know me

You have to show me your love is real

But love at first sight

That lasts one night

And how could one night prove how you feel?

It’s gotta last a lifetime

The slow reveal

The slow reveal

 

(Bridge)

Do I hide behind a mask of pure lust

Or is what you see all that is really there?

Here lies a man you can trust

Cause all I want, I swear

Is to see your soul laid bare

 

(Chorus)

You don’t know me

Like you think you know me

You have to show yourme  love is real

But love at first sight

That lasts one night

And how could one night prove how you feel?

It’s gotta last a lifetime

The slow reveal

The slow reveal

 

©Alistair McIntosh - 8 November 2013

 

 

 

 

 

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You always put such a lot of work into your songs Al.

 

When I saw so many words I felt it might be a bit too much, but it isnt. In fact I needed to hear the entire thing before the song fully 'clicked' for me. I thinks its the ideal length.

 A 'love & lust' theme originally done. No small feat. Nice work. I enjoyed it.

 

 

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Some of this reminds me of Elliot Smith at least in a few places...

 

Well written and sung. A more produced version would be cool to hear...and really you wouldn't need to add much. I'd just really like to hear some BVs and a rhythm section if possible.

 

Still comes across good as a 1+1 though!

 

Ricky

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I hear a bit of Cat Stevens vibe in this tune, as well as Elliot Smith.

 

Good tune with some interesting lyrics, and solid guitar write. Some interesting changes as well.

 

Performance-wise, I would relax the tempo a little and try not to rush the more intricate riffs. It needs a bit more deliberate pace and slightly better timing on the guitar.

 

Are you planning on moving this from a demo to a more complete and polished version? With a bit of work, this would sound excellent.

 

Peace,

TC

 

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Pretty cool stuff. I listened to it in the car on my way home and am listening to it again with headphones. I didn't get the chorus melody on my first listen but it's sinking in now :). And I must say I like it ! Cool guitar chords and progression. I would certainly love to hear a band around this but as mentioned before, it can stay on its own in a1+1 performance.

 

Great work :) .... Enjoyed the lyrics too

 

Cheers

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Posted (edited)

Thanks for the feedback, folks.

 

Rudi, this one was a lot of work as I remember. I only actually finalised the chorus a few weeks ago! The feedback from folks here was invaluable if contradictory.

 

TC, thanks for the comparisons although I have never heard an Elliot Smith tune in my life. Your thoughts about the performance are spot on; in truth I approached this recording with some trepidation because this tune is quite difficult to play and sing live. I think that shows. I should relax rather than slow down.

 

Simon, according to my SoundCloud stats for plays, you are my biggest fan! 

 

Simon and Ricky, I have had a band playing this in my head for the last 3 years so I'll have to see whether they would be willing to record it. I think I wrote the chorus tune first so for me this has always been the strongest part - but perhaps familiarity breeds content!

Edited by Alistair

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I like it! If you really wanted to make it shorter I would cut out the bridge and final chorus and then repeat "the slow reveal" a couple more times to finish. Having said that I think the length's fine as it is. Some other instruments would have been nice, nothing too much as it would take away from the guitar/voice combo but something simple to better contrast between the verses and the chorus maybe. Apart from those minor niggles, it was really enjoyable, nice one!

 

Chalter

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Hi Chalter

 

If folks think it's not too long than I wouldn't want to shorten it. I felt that , given the title, there might be an expectation the song should be slower, which would make it too long and therefore what could I do to shorten it if it should be slower.

 

If you removed the bridge you'd  lose the hook, which is that the singer doesn't want to see the object of his desire actually naked, he wants her to bare her soul to him. So I am happy not to shorten it.

 

After I wrote it I realised that you could interpret it that the last chorus is the guy singing to the girl, whereas in the first two choruses it's written as her singing to him,  because she didn't really know him if he she thought that he just wanted her to take her clothes off. So I am going to claim that is what I intended all along!

 

Thanks for the critique

 

Alistair

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I love it Alistair! I didn't expect that pre chorus, such a wonderful transition. The songwriting is top notch as well, in my opinion.

I'm just waiting for this to turn into a fully arranged song. :)

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Hi! I really enjoyed the chorus especially the ending with the hook. The chorus sounds natural, not forced, nor unrealistic that someone would say that. That makes it especially enjoyable to me, because It allows me to relate, and that gives it replayability. Great song! Thanks for sharing, Hope to hear it with a band :)!

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