Timbre

Upside of Lonely

14 posts in this topic

The Upside of Lonely

 

Copyright © 2017 by L.C. Campbell

 

V1

There’s an upside to lonely

It seems to slow down time

Hours never end

And days drift slowly by

 

When you give in to lonely

It rises up inside

Fills in all the spaces

Where love used to reside

 

Ch1

From the outside, looking in

This ain’t no way to live

But right now it gets me through

So I’m going to hang onto

The upside of lonely

 

V2

Wrapped up in your memory

There’s no need to play along

Just going through the motions

And always feeling wrong

 

So I’m counting on lonely

To fill me up inside

To take up all the space

Where love used to reside

 

Ch

From the outside, looking in

This ain’t no way to live

But right now it gets me through

So I’m going to hang onto

The upside of lonely

 

Bridge

Don’t want time to heal these wounds

If healing means losing you

 

Ch

From the outside, looking in

This ain’t no way to live

But right now it gets me through

So I’m going to hang onto

The upside of lonely

 

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Very impressed, simple as that. What would I do with it ? find that extra verse you know it needs. There's sometimes safety in loneliness.?

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Hi, John.

 

Yes, V3 is still in my head! Playing with some possibilities. I'll add your idea to the mix and mull it over. Thanks for reading. 

 

~T

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Posted (edited)

Hi.  Timbre,

 

Nice. Really like the idea! Alittle variance in the rhyming structure v1 to v2 that might need to be checked. 3rd line of both verses have uneven stress and count between them. That might mess with the flow.

So much "realness" in your bridge. Hit it right.

 

:)

Peggy

Edited by Peggy

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Peggy, 

 

Thanks for the encouragement. I'll check out the inconsistency in meter across V1 and V2 in line 3. I sometimes have a blindspot for matching the meter of internal lines across verses :)

 

 

~T

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nice words, and great morale.. i can see this fitting more than one genre. I read from start to finish without a hitch...

love the title...

estupendo!

Neil

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It's beautifully painful... and the bridge is the quiet anchor. It sounds perfect to me and has potential to be a real tear jerker of a song! I don't know.. I'm getting the country vibe here.. would sound wonderful.

 

Good luck with your song!

 

Sreyashi/Sumi  

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7 hours ago, nsj said:

nice words, and great morale.. i can see this fitting more than one genre. I read from start to finish without a hitch...

love the title...

estupendo!

Neil

Muchas gracias!

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6 hours ago, Sreyashi Mukherjee said:

It's beautifully painful... and the bridge is the quiet anchor. It sounds perfect to me and has potential to be a real tear jerker of a song! I don't know.. I'm getting the country vibe here.. would sound wonderful.

 

Good luck with your song!

Thanks for reading. This one sat a while until I could really catch up to where it was leading me emotionally. Good to hear that it is capturing the emotional tone I was trying to create.

 

~T

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Hey T

Sweet stuff. I love simple! 

Peggy did hit on a point .so might ponder that . and a 3rd verse I'm not so sure about.unless in a very simple way it adds more depth. But I feel almost everything is in there could be, without dragging more weight.

Liked this alot and would love to hear music to this. Second read I had a cool melody flowing .lol

Anyway enjoyed it 

Rock on !!!! 

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Thanks, Tom.

 

I've thought about the 3rd verse option and it occurred to me that the vague sense of "unfinished business" I get with this one is more about the emotional hangover that the lyrics leave---the emotion lingers, as it should, but that doesn't mean that anything more needs to be said.

 

These lyrics went through a few iterations, but strangely no melody came to me as I was putting this one together, just the emotion behind it. I'm going to have to be patient and wait for the music to come on its own. ~T

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Posted (edited)

Timbre,

 

excellent verses... nice flow and rhyming scheme... I wouldn't change any verse... I thought the Chorus needed to be a bit shorter but after reading through it again... I feel the chorus is fine as well.. the title is very nice but I'm not sure how that would "sing" in a song... " the upside of lonely" it just doesn't sound right to me... I would need to hear the song... you are definitely a skilled song writer... nice piece of work

Edited by TagSongZ

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On 3/26/2017 at 10:17 AM, Timbre said:

The Upside of Lonely

 

Copyright © 2017 by L.C. Campbell

 

V1

There’s an upside to lonely

It seems to slow down time

Hours never end

And days drift slowly by

 

When you give in to lonely

It rises up inside

Fills in all the spaces

Where love used to reside

 

Ch1

From the outside, looking in

This ain’t no way to live

But right now it gets me through

So I’m going to hang onto

The upside of lonely

 

V2

Wrapped up in your memory

There’s no need to play along

Just going through the motions

And always feeling wrong

 

So I’m counting on lonely

To fill me up inside

To take up all the space

Where love used to reside

 

Ch

From the outside, looking in

This ain’t no way to live

But right now it gets me through

So I’m going to hang onto

The upside of lonely

 

Bridge

Don’t want time to heal these wounds

If healing means losing you

 

Ch

From the outside, looking in

This ain’t no way to live

But right now it gets me through

So I’m going to hang onto

The upside of lonely

 

Just about to leave, but wanted to say I like this simple lyric--the type that would easily accommodate a beautiful melody. More on my return. Hold me to it!!! LOL

Actually, I'm probably partial to this for incorporating a technique I used in a book I wrote. Conversation between 2 main characters. Can't exactly recall, but she says, "Since you're so concerned about life passing you by, find yourself a boring girl to marry. That will really slow down time...or seem to, anyway." :)

Your lyric, obviously, is both sarcastic and very sad. The only part I'm not feeling is the bridge. That first line is so used. Suggie

"Someday my life may resume

Until then, lonely will do (or: will hafta do)

 

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Hi, Retro.

Thanks for critiquing. I didn't connect with the "obviously sarcastic" bit, but it's cool to hear other interpretations of the lyric. 

 

For the bridge, I wasn't using the first line for originality but to set up the second line. In fact for the second line to work as intended the first line actually needed to be a familiar saying of conventional wisdom about grief. The singer's desire goes against that conventional wisdom-- If you are not ready to let go of someone that you've lost, and their memory fades over time, then the passage of time is scary. I was trying to invoke that idea and using a common saying as foil to set it up.

 

Thanks again for reading.

 

~T

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