3 posts in this topic

Hi everyone,

Never got this song critiqued.  I wrote it, came up with the melodies and harmonies and laid down the vocals for the demo (I'm not a singer or rapper).  Lyrics below.  Let me know what you think in general.  I'm just starting to look for pop producers to work with so I'm trying to figure out what songs could attract them to want to collab with me.  Thanks in advance!

 

Under The Moonlight

 

LYRICS

 

Verse 1

 

Hey babe

I’ve been looking at you

Doing your thing the whole night

Had to say something before

You walked out my life

I don’t got no lines

I’m just hoping that I’m your type

Cause you’re my type

Yeh, eh

Eh, eh

 

Pre-chorus

 

One dance

Is all I need girl

To show

Show you my world

And maybe

We’ll fall in love tonight

One dance

Is all I need girl

To show

Show you my world

And maybe

We’ll fall in love tonight

 

Chorus 1

 

Under the moonlight (5x)

 

Verse 2

 

Come with me

I can see a smile

Coming in

It’s starting to show

All you gotta do’s take my hand

And we can go, oh

Get lost in the moment

While we’re dancing real slow

Real slow

Oh, oh

Oh, oh

 

Pre-chorus

 

Chorus 1

 

Bridge

 

Ready

Hold on me real steady

Don’t worry bout a thing

Cause I’mma treat you like a lady

Like a diamond

Girls like you

It’s hard to find them

You got something special

And that’s why you outshine them

It feels

Like this right here was meant to be

This magic between you and me

It’s like we’re starting our story

Starting our history

 

Chorus  2

 

Under the moonlight (9x)

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This is quite contemporary. I think it could go head to head with what we hear on the radio these days but it would need a bigger and fatter production. This doesn't feel like it's been mastered and so it lacks the punch that kind of song deserves.

The vocal performance is quite good and melody is catchy. Good luck with it.

 

Cheers

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Cool stuff.  I'm not fluent in this genre so take my opinion with a serious grain of salt.  The song seems to fit the usual structure and you have a strong hook that is supported well by the instrumentation.  My biggest nit is the same as Simon; the low end is notably absent.  If anything, when I hear songs in this genre the bottom end is almost too much for me, so there is a big disconnect there.

 

The song is on track, the mix needs some work. :)

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