14 posts in this topic

Hi all, started this track earlier while I was trying out the demo's for Rob Papen's Blue 2 and Output's Signal. The drums are Battery 4 and played by me (for a change). The vocal is a first take to give me a feel for what is working and what needs fixed. Need to do extra lyrics as these were the start of something I wrote a while back and forgot about, but they went with this piece. There is still to be more instruments added and a slight tweak of the arrangement, but I am hoping it feels like it is working, so I am looking for some advice for what is working, not working etc.

 

Cheers

 

Richard

 

https://soundcloud.com/moodman-1/beyond-the-veil-09042017-1825

 

 

BEYOND THE VEIL (lyrics and music by Richard Tracey)

 

Like de-ja-vu 

I saw the soul in you

A heart that was so pure

A moment frozen in time

 

Unspoken words

Hanging in midair

Full of love and care

The feelings were sublime

 

And in that moment

I realised

I had passed

Beyond the Veil

Beyond the Veil

 

No-one needs to know

No-one needs to see

Just what happened

To me

To me

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love this style, very retro 80s vibe. I like the trancy synth at the beginning, is it a blue preset? .. The vocals are pretty clear, and remind me of the smiths a bit. In the chorus, i like the lyrics and the delivery but the synth that comes in sounds a tad too compressed. Turn the snare up a touch too.. have u tried utilising sidechain techniques? That could make your drums stand out even mmore. I think the songwriting is great you just need to revise the mixdown. Maybe add some extra vocal layers on the final chorus; harmonies etc. This could present a bigger climax to the song. Keep it up! Peace

 

Outss

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3 minutes ago, outss said:

love this style, very retro 80s vibe. I like the trancy synth at the beginning, is it a blue preset? .. The vocals are pretty clear, and remind me of the smiths a bit. In the chorus, i like the lyrics and the delivery but the synth that comes in sounds a tad too compressed. Turn the snare up a touch too.. have u tried utilising sidechain techniques? That could make your drums stand out even mmore. I think the songwriting is great you just need to revise the mixdown. Maybe add some extra vocal layers on the final chorus; harmonies etc. This could present a bigger climax to the song. Keep it up! Peace

 

Outss

 

Hey Outss - thanks for listening.

 

Yeah, the 2 synths at the beginning are Blue 2 presets. One is a bass, which I played as if it was an arp, but with a NI Replika reverb pulse type thing. The other was just a pad sound.

I really cannot hear the Smiths in the vocal and to be honest, would never, ever sing like Morrissey (never liked the man), but I am glad you liked the 80's vibe as that's what I was going for.

To be honest I spent about an hour on this, so haven't managed to do much else with it with instrumentation, harmonies etc. I will be looking to do that.

 

Which synth sounds compressed as I can have a look at that - all synths are just the presets, but I might have added a plugin to one of them and that might be what's happened?

 

I'll be looking to work on the drums - I don't normally play them myself, but have decided to start as I have more control over how I want it to sound.

 

Cheers

 

R

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Richard, this has what I've come to think of as your signature vibe, a lush beautiful sound that fills out the stereo spectrum. Like the last piece I listened to, the vocals aren't sitting with the music. They're rushed and a bit choppy. I haven't sung in over twenty years, but my hunch is that you just haven't done enough of it yet to make it quite fit with your style. It'll come, I'm confident, if you just keep working on it. I really do think you want more of a laid back legato style for these pieces. The other thing is, IMO, there's still not enough low end. I think you'll find your work acquiring much more body (depth up and down) with more low end. You have the width and the distance down. Isn't Blue 2 awesome?

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7 minutes ago, Steve Mueske said:

Richard, this has what I've come to think of as your signature vibe, a lush beautiful sound that fills out the stereo spectrum. Like the last piece I listened to, the vocals aren't sitting with the music. They're rushed and a bit choppy. I haven't sung in over twenty years, but my hunch is that you just haven't done enough of it yet to make it quite fit with your style. It'll come, I'm confident, if you just keep working on it. I really do think you want more of a laid back legato style for these pieces. The other thing is, IMO, there's still not enough low end. I think you'll find your work acquiring much more body (depth up and down) with more low end. You have the width and the distance down. Isn't Blue 2 awesome?

 

'Cheers Steve - always appreciate your comments.

 

The vocals were a quick take to see what needs changed. I'll tighten that up when I'm ready to finish the track. I've spoken to John about the problem I have singing my own music, compared to singing other songs. The answer seems to be to get to know the words and melody till its second nature. That is something I need to work on.

 

I'll have a look at the low end, it may be something to do with the mix as it is at the moment. It isn't final, so thanks for pointing it out.

 

Blue 2 has some fantastic sounds, but it is the demo and it doesn't have all the presets.

 

Output's Signal and Analog Strings are fantastic and have some amazing sounds to trigger ideas. I started another one today while I was trying out the Analog Strings presets (if you want to have a listen it's called "I Know" and I posted it for comment not long ago).

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You have a great voice that fits your music so well. This is a fun song that has a lot of meaning and that kept me hooked. 

 

I like the synth tune that introduces the chorus, that said I feel like a little more could be added percussion wise to give a more to excitement. That could be drums or an arpaggiated synth.

 

Either way, geat tune!

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Yes, this is definitely very 80's sounding, which you said is what you were going for, so that's good! That style definitely comes through. I agree with the comparison to the Smiths. I think it's that you have a similar voice combined with the 80's style production. It just sounds very similar to me. But, that being said, you are not the Smiths, and your uniqueness comes through.

 

There is a lot of energy in this production and it is lush, as somebody mentioned. I like the low, dark synth that comes it at "no one needs to know" that produces a tense, unsettled feeling, which is a nice contrast that shows the depth of the song.

 

I don't have a lot to say about the production other than that I feel like it could be tighter. It's just a little bit muddy to me. I don't know how to fix that though, as I am unskilled and new to that aspect of song production!

 

Nice song though. I see syncing opportunities for authentic sounding 80's music from time to time. And once you record more solid vocals over this and tighten it up some, I think this would be perfect for something like that.

 

 

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Nice atmosphere... nice voice...

The kind of piece to listen at the middle of the night...

An it's true it reminds a lot the eighties (a period I like very much)...

Cool song, Richard!

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3 hours ago, bakerusc said:

You have a great voice that fits your music so well. This is a fun song that has a lot of meaning and that kept me hooked. 

 

I like the synth tune that introduces the chorus, that said I feel like a little more could be added percussion wise to give a more to excitement. That could be drums or an arpaggiated synth.

 

Either way, geat tune!

 

Hi bakerusc - thanks for listening. I'm glad it's a fun song, as the lyrical content is probably a bit on the darker side, but I really felt it all fit together.

 

I love the synth sounds on this one, really pleased with them.

 

I'll have a look at the dynamics of the percussion and see what it needs. This was a quick draft to iron out any issues.

 

Cheers

 

R

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2 hours ago, emilyandersonmusic said:

Yes, this is definitely very 80's sounding, which you said is what you were going for, so that's good! That style definitely comes through. I agree with the comparison to the Smiths. I think it's that you have a similar voice combined with the 80's style production. It just sounds very similar to me. But, that being said, you are not the Smiths, and your uniqueness comes through.

 

There is a lot of energy in this production and it is lush, as somebody mentioned. I like the low, dark synth that comes it at "no one needs to know" that produces a tense, unsettled feeling, which is a nice contrast that shows the depth of the song.

 

I don't have a lot to say about the production other than that I feel like it could be tighter. It's just a little bit muddy to me. I don't know how to fix that though, as I am unskilled and new to that aspect of song production!

 

Nice song though. I see syncing opportunities for authentic sounding 80's music from time to time. And once you record more solid vocals over this and tighten it up some, I think this would be perfect for something like that.

 

 

 

Hi Emily - thanks for listening, although the Americans must have got a different Smiths from the one I remember growing up;)

 

If you want to know the kind of bands I probably see myself in the ball park - listen to Ultravox, Visage, Depeche Mode and other bands from the early 80's. that is the music I identify with the most and probably in my subconscious, try to emulate.

 

I really want to get this track to work, as I was very pleased with this draft and think it could work once I iron out all the little issues. It does need to be tighter, which is something I will look at once I am happy with how it sounds. The mix wasn't really worked on for this one (I normally do this as I go along) as I added a lot of sounds and didn't pay much attention to where they were all sitting in the mix.

 

I am also unskilled in the mixing and production side and need to learn. This is a good site for that though.

 

Cheers

 

R

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34 minutes ago, Matthew76 said:

Nice atmosphere... nice voice...

The kind of piece to listen at the middle of the night...

An it's true it reminds a lot the eighties (a period I like very much)...

Cool song, Richard!

 

Cheers Matthew, much appreciated with all your comments.

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I like the beats futuristic retro sound, nice work.

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I hear a few things you could try changing. For me, there are two problems with the arrangement: the low end is lacking and the song doesn't feel like it takes me where you are hinting it will.

 

The chorus ("and in that moment...") feels almost like a pre-chorus. It's a really cool part, but it's building up to a release I never get to hear. I've got blue balls!

Something like: Intro -> Verse -> Pre-chorus ("and in that moment") -> Verse 2 -> Pre-chorus ("and in that moment") -> Chorus ...

This may be fixed by fixing the the low end, though. Possibly try is changing the kick drum or the bass patch during your current chorus to let the bottom end blossom, then pull it back during the verses like you have it.

 

Overall, great song, though.

Four-on-the-floor dance kick party outro would be pretty cool ;)

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'Beyond The Veil'...that grabbed my interest right away, Richard :) Awesome vocals and I like the backing track a lot, although I think I would have gone somewhere a little more spacey or surreal, when you go into the chorus, just because that's what I would imagine, 'beyond the veil' would feel like...but that just me :rolleyes: I agree with mrcaterpillar, in regards to the chorus sounding like a pre-chorus :unsure: Also, I don't really like the sound of the snare, especially the fills...but what do I know about drums :rolleyes:

I can't wait to hear this finished, with more lyrics, etc.  Awesome tune [smiley=hippy.gif]

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